If we are all over regulating women’s bodies, I’m thinking guns should not be a frakking problem.
What if gun rights were regulated like abortion rights? Here’s a list of just some of the hoops you’d have to jump through before you could own a gun:
- Only one store in the entire state would sell guns. (See: Mississippi, Arkansas, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming for states with only one abortion provider.)
- You’d have to fill out an enormous personal background check including intrusive personal information that has nothing to do with your ability to own or use a gun. Then you’d have to wait at least 72 hours and come back to the store. (Remember, it’s the only one in the state. You better hope you don’t live on the other side of Wyoming.)
- Upon your return, you’d have to sit through intensive mandatory counseling. Your counselor, regardless of his personal beliefs, would have to tell you that gun ownership is actually a bad idea, and that it would negatively effect your mental health to own a gun. (This, despite there being no scientific evidence to support the claim.)
- Next, you’d sit through a gruesome movie showing the actual aftermath of domestic gun crimes. You’d see people with half a head. You’d see dead children in their beds. You’d see the bloody aftermath of a school shooting. You’d be shown statistic after statistic warning you that you’d be contributing to this morally degenerate sanctioning of murder.
- If you lived in Virginia, you’d have to come back (again) for an invasive and uncomfortable fMRI (which costs around $300 out of your pocket) to ensure your honesty in answering all the background check information and your intentions to use your gun responsibly. (This was as close as I could get to the invasive transvaginal procedure included in the recently passed Virginia bill.)
- Oh… and if you were married, your spouse might have to sign off on your gun ownership.
8 comments
April 20, 2013 at 6:09 am
cocacolafiend
That’s disgraceful. Makes me very glad I live in the UK.
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April 20, 2013 at 7:39 am
john zande
Supremely brilliant post!
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April 20, 2013 at 8:56 am
The Arbourist
@CCF
I agree with you CCF.
I live in Canada where there isn’t an abortion law, but the supreme banality and tomfoolery that is taking place in the US against women enrages me; thus I must comment and bring to light what is going on.
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April 20, 2013 at 9:01 am
The Arbourist
@JZ
Thanks JZ, I find all sorts of good nuggets out there and have to share them here on my blog. I like this one because the right wing can fap endlessly about gun ownership and evil government, but in the next breath endorse ‘evil government’ to police women’s bodies.
I have specifically purchased a reinforced, heavy duty, irony-meter that doesn’t implode for dealing with people who espouse these two viewpoints. I have an extra if you need it. :)
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April 20, 2013 at 10:02 am
syrbal
Reblogged this on herlander-walking.
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April 20, 2013 at 10:05 am
syrbal
Thank you…I’m on a brief blogging hiatus as I spend time with my son before his deployment; but as he is sleeping off a party, lol, I read and re-blogged this excellent bit!
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April 20, 2013 at 10:12 am
The Arbourist
@Syrbal
You are most welcome. :)
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April 23, 2013 at 6:34 am
Squathole
Great post. Great.
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