I’m not buying into the idea that there is some sort of perfect way of living one’s life – some ways are better than others, and those various ways appeal to different people…and so on and so forth. We’re not here talking about *your* choices and and preferences, but rather mine.
I’m getting old. Not super old yet, like JZ [:)], but old enough to start seeing a few patterns and beginning to see how choices fit together. One motif that crops up frequently is the notion of standards (being cut from the Teacher cloth and what not). Standards are fucking important in my line of work, I need to set them high and demonstrate them on a daily basis so students can see why they are important.
There is a life lesson right there – Show, Do, Demonstrate, as your ‘go to’ plan – talking about issues and concepts is important, but doing the thing is so much more important that pontificating about it. Is critical thinking important in your classroom? Then show how it is done every day with your students (and friends outside of school an academia) so often that the people around you have to learn, if by nothing else, osmosis. (The world is filled with dull people, help them, please.)
The osmosis strategy works for music as well, and the related life-concept of perfect practice makes perfect. Can you make those four boring quarter notes into a phrase? Demonstrate it, practice doing it, everyday. Make it a thing that just becomes automatic. The practice list is long, and ever increasing, of the musical qualities and practices that need to become second nature, and not requiring conscious thought (looking at you vocal resonance *grrr*) to enact.
I think the wisdom that can sometimes come with age kicks in when you realize the standards you hold dear informs your perceptions and how you take on life. It is very easy to become your chosen ‘standards’ and stop thinking about how to interact with the turbulent flow of life around you. Sticking to your version of what is correct is necessary to certain extent, as being the leaf in the wind isn’t exactly my idea of an ideal life state. But life, as much as we try to manage it, will gleefully toss monkey poop filled situations at you that will force you to make decisions that call into question the frameworks you’ve built for dealing with the world.
The problem with monkey poop (and most poop really) is that its sticky and tends to foul up the most carefully constructed frameworks and ideas you have about the world. Borrowing a phrase from Gordan Ramsey, you often find yourself to be ‘in the shit’ – so what do you do? For a good portion of my existence, the answer has been to soldier on, head down, pushing back against the shit and working it and reworking it with the tools at hand until the situation has become tolerable (a nice loamy compost, after all is said and done). Confidence in my structures has been unfailing.
But what if my structures and methods are wrong? Yeah, its thoughts like these that gets the monkeys (of the anxiety and doubt kind) agitated and a-chattering. When do you step back from the ramparts and reconsider the stand(s) you’ve taken and reexamine the thought process that brought you to your current state?
It is said that it takes courage to stand by your convictions – I’m calling bullshit on that – standing tall on the fortifications of your beliefs is easy-peasy, made in shade, level of challenge. Taking a step back, reevaluating your convictions and realizing that they aren’t serving you as they once did, and then changing them – that friends, takes courage. Because with change comes vulnerability and instability, the rebuilding your convictions – what makes you -“you”.
Relax, I haven’t found jebus, or allah or drank the libertarian kool-aid, I’m still the pinko-lefty rad fem ally you all know and love. Rather, I’m just in a slightly different theoretical spot having taken a small reflective step back and have begun looking at my structures and ideology and how they shape my perception of life.
Good, if somewhat unsettling, times. :)
8 comments
June 20, 2017 at 6:32 am
john zande
You’re right, I’m a post-singularity human in his 7,000th year, just enjoying this ancestor simulation :)
And you’re right, standards are the crux of it. I see what the absence of standards does here in Brazil every day. In fact, they have this fucking horrid expression here: Brazil is the country of tomorrow. No. No, no, no, no. There is no such thing, you idiots. You have today. That’s it. You lift your standards and you start living that way today, now.
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June 20, 2017 at 6:44 am
Steve Ruis
In my forties, I decided to challenge all of the “wisdom” (aka memes) passed on to me via my parents. Instead of just accepting my “programming” I tried to choose the opposite path to test the validity of those memes. My parent’s were spectacular, but were loving and capable, so what I found out was that every bit of the wisdom they imparted was beneficial to me and going against it only provided grief.
I guess this demonstrates further how important adequate parenting and teaching are. Those foundational principles children accept when young can be very, very important to having a good life.
What if I am wrong? Meh, I will find out when I go down the road. The fear of being wrong when you die is the lever religions use to exert power over us. Lose the fear, they lose their power.
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June 20, 2017 at 8:00 am
The Arbourist
@JZ
I agree standards are very important. It just takes a good deal of time to figure out *which* ones are super important, and when to stop and retool them in your life journey (many apologies for the new-age terminology). :)
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June 20, 2017 at 8:05 am
The Arbourist
@Steven Ruis
I have to agree with you there Steven, as having amazing parent(s) is such a leg up to a successful life. The debt I own to my mother for raising me as an single parent when it wasn’t a thing yet in North America isn’t fathomable. The sacrifices she made and all the damn hard work… just wow.
She’s older now, and almost infirm due to several heart attacks, but I take care of her now and its hard, but I think she too deserves to have someone working for her in her life. :>
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June 20, 2017 at 8:18 am
makagutu
You are right on the mark!
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June 20, 2017 at 11:34 am
bob
Don’t know if IQ plots as a bell curve but there appear to be plenty who can benefit from being taught using well thought out standards. Of course standards evolve and improve or become more fine tuned but we, hopefully, “practice what we preach” and ” work with what we’ve got” and so, coming from a place of love, it should work out for the best.
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June 20, 2017 at 5:01 pm
Miep
Relationships are what it’s about for me. Relationships with life. That is what I frame my attempts at standards around. It’s all right here around us, this is where it’s at.
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June 21, 2017 at 10:01 am
Steve Ruis
FYI IQ is forced onto a Bell curve (it is renormalized annually). One upshot of that is that the intellectual horsepower to reach the middle of the scoring range has drifted upward. A score of 100 now is equivalent to a score of 110 6-7 decades ago (roughly). So, yeah, IQ’s fit a Bell curve … hiding how much better educated people are now than before.
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