Working on holidays on campus is always a rewarding and edifying experience.  I get to meet the upcoming best and brightest students that our fair institution produces for Alberta.   However, the building I work at is closed today, as it is a long weekend holiday.

“But how Arbourist, are people getting into a locked building?” my inquisitive audience asks.

Good question padawan, I mostly blame the radio station that also shares this building as they have staff that is going in and out all the time.  No big deal.  However, the front doors were recently renovated and I think that whomever did the measuring did not have their morning coffee because they stop and stick just short of the locking mechanism.

Consistently.

I assume this is where the Grand Axis of the Universe managed to gain entry to my fair building.  After using the facilities he and his partner were summarily greeted by yours truly and asked to kindly leave, as it was a holiday and the building was closed.

I swear, it was like I was in my dodge-ball days again, twisting and turning but now only verbally.

“Where am I supposed to study?”

“I have a study group to attend and I need a space to do so!”

“I pay for the operation of this building, why can’t I use it?”

“Is there anyway to withdraw my student union fees?  I need to use the building and clearly I’m not being allowed.”

Now gentle reader, I have some time behind me in the service industry (not to mention special education), and dealing with assholes is a useful skill one acquires over the years.  The important thing is to empathize, or at least appear to empathize with the AIQ’s (asshole in question) concerns, then offer useful alternatives, but maintain the message you need to get across, namely you my dear dear AIQ need to GTFO out of my building, post haste.  The AIQ’s companion had obviously been down this road before, and she mouthed her apologies and resignedly shrugged as we exchanged glances.  She smiled as I arched my eyebrow and rolled my eyes at AIQ’s entitlement fail.

They left, and I had to just stand for awhile and process the twerpitude that had just been performed for my benefit.  It was inspiring to share the magnitude of the naive cluelessness of our dear AIQ.  He genuinely felt wronged by the University for having the audacity to close the building on holiday weekend disrupting his study plans.

Boo-frakking-hoo.

AIQ is under the false assumption that the powers that be give a rats ass about his bullshite undergraduate work and that anything he produces during his undergrad counts for anything meaningful.  You just do not understand how balls to bones sincere AIQ was, this was near life and death.  The sheer magnitude of his whingeing set AIQ in a class all by himself (I hope).    Stern letters, at the very least, would be written!

It was like the Ivy Tower educated snob stereotype anti-intellectuals like to paint came to life and manifested all the bullshite priggish entitlement crap that makes the average person cranky.

I do like to think of myself as a intellectual (of sorts), and therefore I offer an apology for AIQ’s behaviour as I now can understand the need to throttle people who actually act like this.