Having established norms and boundaries in society is a good thing. Is the balance between personal freedom and what is good for society perfect?
Of course not.
But the current system which is always under small scale revision, is a reasonable way forward. The basis of this incremental move toward a more just society is the ability of society’s inhabitants to participate freely in the decision making processes. Individual freedom and the individual freedom of expression are two of the main cogs in the machinery of successful society.
The freedom we experience in Western societies such as Canada is not absolute. We have reasonable limits and laws curtailing what citizens can and cannot do within Canadian society. These laws and limits change with society over time and if we proceed carefully we can usually arrive at compromise that ensures our rights and responsibilities remain in a reasonable place for most people.
So, what happens when we forgo discussion and debate about how rights and responsibilities work in society? In the case of Canada we get legislation like Bill C-16 which creates opacity and confusion for many Canadians.
Bill C-16 adds the nebulous idea of ‘gender identity’ to the protected list of rights and freedoms in our Canadian Charter of Rights. Unfortunately, gender identity is quite similar to astrology in terms of having little to no basis in material reality or being able to be empirically measured. Gender identity is completely – utterly – subjective and because of its subjective nature presents many quandaries with regards to the other protected characteristics within the Charter.
Sex is another characteristic that people may not be discriminated against in our Charter – and herein lies the problem – to protect both ‘gender identity’ (astrology) and ‘sex’ (empirical, material reality) is fundamentally untenable. Either women are adult human females, a discrete sex class or they are not. There is not a viable middle position to take.
Our current government seems to have forgotten about Canadian females and the protections granted to them under our Charter of Rights. This is perhaps best illustrated by the inclusion of males who claim to be women (via ‘gender identity’) being housed in female prisons. If we are to stick to reality based discussion – no man can ever become a woman -our distinct physiology is encoded into every cell in our bodies. Yet, because the government is currently prioritizing the gender feelings of males over the physical safety of women in female prisons we have quite a serious rights violation with regards to females in Canada.
This situation will not be easily resolved, but a first step would be the repeal of C-16 as the addition of gender identity into the charter is making society a much less safe place for Canadian females.
As for me, I was a progressive mom who purposefully avoided pushing traditional gender roles on my child. I didn’t know her sex until she was born. I didn’t care—I only wanted a healthy baby. I bought her comfortable, fairly gender-neutral clothes, and I adamantly avoided anything related to Barbie. I had grown up immersed in the unrealistic feminine beauty standards of the 80s, and I wanted my child to have the best chance possible of feeling whole and complete in her natural female body, however she chose to express it. As she grew up, I let her choose her clothes and hairstyles, as well as the toys she played with. I considered myself progressive, feminist, open-minded, and very much an LGBT+ ally. Her friends thought I was a pretty fun mom.
My child was 13 when she told me she thought she was trans. She had already been experimenting with male names and pronouns with her friends and therapist, who had advised her not to tell me until she was ready to fully come out of the trans closet. She was among the last of her small group of biologically female friends to socially transition. It was mid-pandemic, and she spent most of her time with her best friend, who had, unbeknownst to me, shown her hours upon end of transgender entertainment on You Tube and TikTok.
By 8th grade, here’s what her friends (and their TikTok feeds) were saying about me:
“Your mom is transphobic”. “She doesn’t want a son. She wants a daughter.” “She won’t let you be who you are.” “MY mom is so progressive, she buys my binders from a BIPOC trans company.” “Your mom doesn’t really know you.”
And even worse, a succession of therapists:
“You may not know your child as well as you think you do.” “Your son just needs your support.” “Your child doesn’t share your values.” “Your child is at risk of suicide if you don’t affirm.” “You just need some education on having a transgender child.”
So much for being the fun mom.
This child. I had nursed her, read to her, fed her healthfully, sang her to sleep, held her when she cried, played with her. I taught her to read, to count, to make brownies, to brush her own teeth, and to be kind to animals and elders. I had read parenting books and joined library play groups, studied her learning styles and tailored her education to them. My Christmas gift was always her favorite, because I knew exactly what toy she wanted the most. When she was little and woke up feeling sick, I had already woken moments in advance knowing something was wrong.
And now, expert strangers were telling me I didn’t really know her.
I affirmed her change in gender identity, at first. I thought it was an antipatriarchal movement, a rebellious play on artificial standards of attractiveness, a principled game of pronouns, clothing and hairstyles. I was an out-of-the-box, feminist Gen X-er. I was cool with that.
But I quickly learned this wasn’t about self-empowerment. It was about self -rejection. Self-loathing. Self-erasure.
Her friends considered natural breasts disgusting, so binding became a rite of passage. The whole body became a thing of shame, covered by thick, baggy clothes that would betray no feminine curves. A swimsuit was unthinkable, even to swim in the ocean, which we traveled thousands of miles to visit. The new trans-boi posture was rounded forward, with the attitude of a sad thug, black COVID mask firmly in place under a black beanie, so only the eyes were visible. Their given names – many chosen with great care and meaning by thoughtful parents – were proclaimed “dead” and replaced with the names of fandom and cartoon characters.
My daughter’s best friend (now an ftm trans child with two gender affirming parents) started calling her mother by her first name, and demanded the removal of all childhood photos from their home—to escape her past as a girl. Soon thereafter, she was admitted to a treatment program for suicidal ideation. My daughter started cutting her forearms, and her demeanor became dark and secretive. Her beautiful art became morbid and even cruel.
I drew the line at breast binding and said no. I could not rationalize the compression of a child’s developing breast tissue and rib cage. It made no medical sense to encourage a practice that would restrict the respiratory, circulatory, and lymphatic systems during a crucial physical development stage.
And, of course, the experts told me I was wrong. They said if I didn’t buy her a proper binder, she would use duct tape and ace bandages, which would be even worse. They said she would harm herself more. They said she would be at risk of suicide.
I cried for days. I meditated, I prayed, I consulted wise friends who knew my child well. I told her dad everything I knew, and spoke with her stepmom, who works as a child therapist. Everyone who ACTUALLY knew my child confirmed what I knew all along—this didn’t make any sense. And being trans wasn’t making her better. It was making her worse.
I still wanted my child to have the best chance possible of feeling whole and complete in her natural female body, however she chose to express it. If gender exploration necessitated my complicity in her self hatred, I wouldn’t participate.
So I stopped listening to the experts and took back my authority as my child’s first and primary parent.
I set new boundaries. I profoundly restricted online access, took long breaks from overzealous trans friends, checked daily to make sure she wasn’t binding. Her dad, stepmom, and my partner all concurred, and she was pretty mad at all of us for awhile.
So perhaps even more importantly, I added a lot of things that I realized were missing during the pandemic. I facilitated friendships with healthier teens, and had frank conversations with their parents to ensure we were all on the same page. I enrolled her in a music performance program and aerial silks classes. Over the summer, she went to camp and volunteered at a nature center. We took interesting trips, went to live music shows, and watched diverse movies about all kinds of people. We planted raspberries and went camping and brewed herbal moon tea to ease her menstrual cramps. I wanted to show her that the world was much bigger than her friend group.
It’s now been a year since she first announced her new identity. My work seems to have paid off. She has developed an identity outside of trans—she’s an aerialist, a musician, a good writer, an artist, a traveler, and she believes in a spiritual side to life. Consistent aerial silks practice has made her physically strong and flexible, and she likes what her body can do and how it looks. She’s phased out of the ultra-baggy clothes, and regularly shows her arms and collarbones. Sometimes she wears dresses or braids her hair. She doesn’t appear to have engaged in self-harm in months, and her art is brighter and even humorous. She stands taller, laughs easily, and speaks confidently with adults. She has new friends with similarly unique interests. She’s still quirky, artistic, and alternative in her style. She may be bisexual, and that’s fine by me.
I really do want my daughter to be her authentic self, and I know that she has to find that path on her own eventually. I will always support her in all her ups and downs. I’ll even love and support her if she decides, as an adult, to identify as a boy. But until she is actually an adult, I’m still the parent. I am a mature, educated, mentally healthy adult woman with many life experiences and learning under my belt. Many of my interactions with the mental health community undermined my legitimate questions, my knowledge of my child, the wisdom I’ve gained over nearly 48 years on planet Earth. I didn’t go to psychology school, but I do know many things. And I do, actually, know my kid. I’m reclaiming that.
One truth about male child sex predators is this – They always go to where their prey is. Whether it be a Priest or Drag Queen the need for child safeguarding remains the same, maybe more so the case of DQ’s because no established accountability structure exists.
But let’s go through the CBC story, line by line to see exactly what’s going on over there in CBC land.
“Drag is everywhere — and it has never been more popular.”
According to whom, exactly? Seems very much like a personal opinion as opposed to anything resembling fact.
“Across the country, performers are bringing their art to events like drag brunches, drag story time at libraries, and shows at local gay bars. But with this increased visibility and popularity has come backlash, in the form of hate.”
If we’re just throwing opinion around here which obviously the hosts of CBC Now or Never are, here is one. Most adults don’t know or care about the increased frequency of Drag Events. What puts it on the radar for most adults is when children and youth are the target audience for a Drag Queen event.
Men in womanface are first and foremost adult entertainers and purveyors of adult entertainment. They, if their motivations were transparent would have no justification for interacting with children in their ‘professional’ capacity. Unless of course there were other reasons: (see the full text here)
It would seem there is some contention in our society about the value of adult entertainers interacting with children. It would be beneficial to have a lively public discussion about what exactly happens at DQSH and the concerns/questions for all those involved.
“Drag is happening in communities big and small, and it’s not going anywhere.”
Sound like a challenge. Did you really want to encourage more acrimonious behaviour within Canadian society? Keep poking the bear of mainstream Canadian opinion (i.e. continue fucking around in order find out).
One of things the LGBTQIA+ ‘community’ cannot abide by is debate or criticism of what they think should be part of normal society. Tough beans, all contentious issues merit debate in a free and democratic society.
Wear the Jersey or not, to bake the cake or not. In a free society these choices must remain with the individual. To be forced down one road another is authoritarianism, and the route we most definitely do not want to take.
“Note that neither Phillips nor Provorov is going out and preaching hatred or violence against homosexuals or transgender men and women. They are simply asking not to be required to affirm a particular point of view. That refusal is, per our official civil rights enforcement ideology, itself a form of bigotry and discrimination. But that is not the only way to see it.
There are, of course, genuine bigots in America. And many want to make that the issue because it simplifies things. But there is a deeper issue. How can America accommodate the diversity of moral opinions we currently have? In light of that question, we see that we have two warring views of respect for diversity and of toleration. The first is supported by the legal enforcement bureaucracy, as in the Jack Phillips cases, and is reflected in the criticism of Provorov. That view holds that to be tolerant is to give explicit support to particular points of view
Provorov did not explicitly criticize gay pride. On the contrary, his claim was that he is an Orthodox Christian, and as such, he cannot in good conscience actively support homosexuality because his religion teaches that it is sinful. He does not seek to keep gay players out of the NHL, nor has he, as far as I know, made it a point to preach his beliefs to others. He merely asks not to be required to praise something with which he disagrees. The same is true of Jack Phillips. He makes specialty cakes. He is willing to provide a cake for anyone. But he refuses to make a specialty cake with a particular message that celebrates something contrary to his beliefs.
In other words, Phillips and Provorov, and their supporters, are embracing a rival understanding of toleration—namely, that it is a practice, not a particular belief. To be tolerant reflects the classic idea of magnanimity, embracing what used to be called “liberality,” and accepting the notion that there are different ways of living well, and that a free society must give people space truly to live as their consciences dictate. Such liberality requires that civil society provide space for people to live separately in some regard, including in a private business.
In former ages, that sort of toleration applied particularly to America’s diverse religious sects. In a world in which many Protestants regarded the Pope as the Anti-Christ, religious liberty meant allowing America’s many religious communities the space they needed to live freely, even if they hated each other. It did not require, as the British King had required, one affirms Anglican doctrine to be a full citizen, nor did it require, as the King of France had required, one to be a Catholic. Instead, America merely required that a citizen respect the laws of the community—laws that gave us space to disagree about some very fundamental things. That allowed us to put the wars of the Reformation in the rearview mirror. In short, religious liberty and religious diversity allowed America to practice safe sects.”
The activist left seems to have forgotten the notions of liberty and actual diversity as they attempt to ‘reform’ society in their risible utopian cast. Their vision potentially spawns only strife and adversity. There is no “live and let live”, but rather “you will live how I see fit, or we have a problem (bigot/phobe)…”
Authoritarianism from the Right or Left is the bugbear in the room. Know it when you see it and fight against the totalitarian impulse the informs so much what passes for ‘social justice activism’ these days.
The use of opaque statements like “Trans people are just trying to LIVE our Lives” is a prime example of the motte and bailey fallacy.
“The motte-and-bailey fallacy (named after the motte-and-bailey castle) is a form of argument and an informal fallacy where an arguer conflates two positions that share similarities, one modest and easy to defend (the “motte”) and one much more controversial and harder to defend (the “bailey”).[1] The arguer advances the controversial position, but when challenged, they insist that they are only advancing the more modest position.[2][3] Upon retreating to the motte, the arguer can claim that the bailey has not been refuted (because the critic refused to attack the motte)[1] or that the critic is unreasonable (by equating an attack on the bailey with an attack on the motte).”
Mostly everyone in western democratic societies are free to reasonably live their lives – within the confines of what is currently acceptable in society. In this case, currently transpeople have *every* right afforded to other people that inhabit Canadian and American society. What transactivists and other parts of the activist Left don’t say is that they wish to radically alter society’s rules around *their* vision of the future (which,in my opinion, is mostly utopian dogshit).
So this is how this one works. If you call Activist Leftists out on their unreasonable claims such as biological sex isn’t real( The bailey) then they will retreat to the motte and say “Well you just don’t want trans people to live their lives” (the motte).
The solution is to not even grant them the motte. People in free societies CAN live their lives mostly as they see fit – with the proviso their ‘lifestyle’ doesn’t negatively impact others.
The denial of biological sex has significant detrimental impacts on female rights, boundaries, and safety in our society – most to the point the ‘inclusion’ of male rapists (because they fucking feel like women) in female prisons in Canada.
Always bomb their innocuous motte and raze their radical bailey.
“Not all sex offenders are incarcerated. Given how hard it is to obtain convictions for sexual offenses, consider the likelihood that the total number of male sex offenders may be larger than the total number of males who “identify as women.” If a man invades a female change room, the women and girls inside are likely to have a stress response because their subconscious minds already know this person is approximately 100 times more likely to be a sex offender than any woman in the space and also more likely to be a sexual predator than a man who uses the proper facilities. It does not matter if the trespasser had surgery or takes hormones.
No male should ever be tolerated in a “single-sex” space for females. It’s right there in the name. The minute a person born male enters a female space it is magically transformed into a “mixed-sex” space and is no longer fit for purpose. There is such a thing as too much tolerance and sex is where we must draw the line in order to avoid an easy to predict increase in sexual offenses against women and girls. This is borne out in another UK chart on unisex toilets.
The helpful charts above could not be reproduced with data from Canada because all the male sex offenders pretending to be women would be counted as women by law enforcement. The decision made by Stats Canada in 2019 to track crime by whatever gender a perpetrator claims to be is already causing harm. Not only will it lead to the false claim that “more women are being jailed as sex offenders” it also hides the crimes that male sex offenders are committing in women’s prisons against vulnerable female inmates who cannot “identify” their way to safety. How can we solve this problem when the government is using flawed statistics to cover up what is really going on? Sound statistics are crucial as the foundation for public policy.”
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