Pierre Poilievre does not govern Canada.

That should be an unnecessary sentence, yet the distinction often becomes strangely blurred in Canadian political coverage. The leader of the opposition is interrogated about everything his hypothetical government might someday do, while the consequences produced by the actual government are attributed to complicated circumstances, international forces, or mistakes for which no one appears personally responsible.

Poilievre should face serious scrutiny. He wants to become prime minister, and Canadians are entitled to examine his claims, temperament, and proposed policies before giving him power. But that does not change his present role. He cannot direct federal departments, set immigration targets, negotiate trade agreements, or implement his economic programme. His job is to hold the government accountable and present an alternative.

On October 1, 2025, Poilievre appeared with Karman Wong and Travis Dhanraj on their podcast, Can’t Be Censored. Much has happened since then, and the conversation should not be treated as a current or exhaustive account of Conservative policy. It is better understood as a snapshot of the case Poilievre was making after the 2025 election: what he believed had gone wrong in Canada, what principles guided his opposition, and where he wanted to take the country.

I should be clear about my own position. I am broadly sympathetic to the direction Poilievre and the Conservative Party are offering. This is not an exercise in ritual neutrality, nor is it an attempt to prove that every Conservative proposal would work exactly as advertised. My purpose is to present the argument fairly, identify where it outruns its evidence, and give readers an opportunity to judge a version of Poilievre that receives comparatively little room in conventional political coverage.

The interview is friendly. The hosts generally share Poilievre’s premises, give him long stretches in which to answer, and rarely test the limits of his claims. Dhanraj even says that the programme is “not an exercise in journalism per se.”

That is also why it is useful.

Instead of encountering Poilievre through parliamentary clips, hostile exchanges, or stories about how dangerous his future government might be, viewers can hear him explain himself. The interview does not settle whether he is right. It gives people enough daylight to understand what he is arguing and judge it for themselves.

The Case Poilievre Makes

What follows is not a feasibility audit of the Conservative platform, much less an account of every policy the party holds today. It is a bird’s-eye view of the political case Poilievre was making in October 2025.

His answers cover a great deal of territory, but the policies and principles he advances can be summarized fairly simply:

  • Crime and bail: Replace what he calls “catch-and-release” bail, restore mandatory prison sentences for serious offences, and impose a permanent sentence after three serious convictions.
  • Immigration: Tie immigration levels to Canada’s capacity to provide housing, employment, health care, and other services, while ending abuse of the international student and temporary foreign worker programmes.
  • Housing: Reduce the government-driven pressures increasing demand, remove taxes and regulatory barriers restricting supply, and restore homeownership as an attainable Canadian aspiration.
  • Energy and development: Repeal federal restrictions on resource development, including the Oil Tanker Moratorium Act, the emissions cap, and other policies he believes prevent Canadian energy from reaching domestic and international markets.
  • Investment: Eliminate capital gains tax on money reinvested in Canada to encourage capital to return to Canadian factories, mines, pipelines, businesses, and workers.
  • Trade and defence: Rebuild the military, strengthen Canada’s presence in the Arctic, and offer the United States a more capable security partner in exchange for reliable access to American markets.
  • Media and free expression: End public funding for the English-language CBC, place public and private media on a more equal footing, and oppose political censorship and violence.
  • Conservative unity: Hold together libertarians, fiscal conservatives, social conservatives, and national conservatives by concentrating on the policies they share rather than forcing every internal disagreement into public view.

A common idea connects these proposals. Poilievre believes Canada’s decline was not inevitable. Housing did not simply become unaffordable, the immigration system did not lose public confidence on its own, and major projects did not stop being built because Canada ran out of resources. Governments made choices, those choices produced consequences, and different choices can move the country in a better direction.

That is an idealized political argument, as most platforms are. It is nevertheless a coherent one.

Refusing Managed Decline

The most revealing exchange comes when Wong asks whether Canadians should reconsider homeownership as a measure of success and become more accepting of permanent renting.

Poilievre appears genuinely startled.

“Do you realize what they’ve done to you?” he asks.

Wong pushes back, asking why renting necessarily means living a worse life. Poilievre answers by pointing to home equity, retirement security, and the difference between paying down one’s own mortgage and paying the mortgage of a large corporate landlord.

His answer does not account for everyone. Not every Canadian wants to own a detached house, and no government can guarantee homeownership irrespective of income, location, or personal circumstances. But Poilievre is identifying a real political divide.

One response to declining living standards is to help people adjust their expectations. Poilievre’s response is to ask why government failure should determine the limits of those expectations.

The same conviction runs through the rest of the interview. Canadians should not accept deteriorating public safety as an unavoidable feature of modern life. They should not accept permanent dependence on the United States while Canadian resources remain undeveloped. Young people should not be instructed to find dignity in possessing less than their parents because restoring affordability would be difficult.

Poilievre’s political offer is not merely lower taxes or fewer regulations. It is a rejection of managed decline.

Where the Argument Overreaches

Giving Poilievre room to make his case does not require accepting every part of it.

His account repeatedly reduces complicated problems to Liberal policy alone. Governments deserve responsibility for their decisions, but housing, crime, trade, and economic productivity also involve provincial governments, municipalities, courts, interest rates, private investment, construction capacity, and international conditions.

His explanation of bail is directionally understandable but legally compressed. Bill C-75 does instruct courts to favour release at the earliest reasonable opportunity under the least onerous appropriate conditions. It does not require judges to ignore public safety, and it codified principles that had already been recognized by the Supreme Court. Parliament also subsequently strengthened parts of the bail regime dealing with repeat violent offenders. Justice Canada’s explanation provides the missing legal context.

His description of some Canadian communities as “war zones” is rhetorical excess. Serious and repeat violence warrants political attention, but subsequent Statistics Canada figures showed both the overall and violent Crime Severity Indexes declining in 2025. Those national figures do not erase local disorder, longer-term trends, or frightening individual crimes, but they make sweeping descriptions of the country difficult to sustain. The latest national crime figures are available here.

His housing diagnosis is stronger than some of his proposed timelines. The OECD agrees that Canadian housing prices have risen sharply because supply failed to keep pace with demand. CMHC also identifies regulatory delays as an important obstacle. But removing barriers does not produce inexpensive homes overnight; CMHC estimates that multi-unit developments can take seven or eight years to move from planning to completion. The OECD and CMHC support much of the diagnosis while complicating the promised cure.

These qualifications matter. They do not make the underlying problems imaginary, nor do they place responsibility for addressing them upon the opposition rather than the government.

A Different Window

Can’t Be Censored is not a substitute for rigorous journalism. Poilievre is seldom asked about costs, constitutional limits, competing explanations, or the practical difficulties of implementing his programme. The hosts are providing a political conversation, not conducting a platform audit.

Not every interview must be a cross-examination, however.

Much of the political coverage Canadians encounter concentrates on Poilievre’s rhetoric, tactics, personality, and perceived dangers. Whatever the overall balance of Canadian reporting, those fragments rarely provide enough room to hear the complete argument connecting his criticisms to the country he hopes to build. This interview does.

The result is a warmer and more candid Poilievre than Canadians usually see. He discusses his childhood, family, early debating experience, caucus management, and the coalition he has built among different kinds of conservatives. He describes himself as a fighter, but rejects the claim that anger is the centre of his appeal. What his supporters repeatedly tell him, he says, is that he gives them hope.

That claim may be campaign messaging. Viewers can decide.

Pierre Poilievre should be questioned closely because he wants to become prime minister. Mark Carney should be questioned closely because he is prime minister. Those are not interchangeable responsibilities. One proposes a direction; the other exercises power and produces consequences.

This October 2025 interview cannot tell us everything the Conservative Party stands for today. It does offer a useful starting point for anyone genuinely curious about Poilievre and willing to look beyond the prevailing media frame.

Watch it, compare its claims with the evidence and the CPC’s current positions, and make up your own mind.

A wide-ranging conversation with hosts Travis Dhanraj and Karman Wong

 

Do You Want to Know More?

Watch the complete October 1, 2025 interview:

On August 9, the DarkHorse Podcast released a conversation in which Peter Boghossian and Bret Weinstein used the scandal surrounding Cambridge professor Jason Arday to argue that diversity, equity, and inclusion had made academic standards negotiable. It was recorded after Arday resigned and before he was found dead. Police describe his death as unexpected but not suspicious; its cause has not been publicly established.

That ending does not resolve the questions surrounding Arday’s work, although it should change the care with which we discuss them. Accountability for the institutional decisions now belongs principally to Cambridge.

The New York Times reports that Arday fell short of the university’s stated requirements for his position: an internationally distinguished research record and proven success supervising doctoral students. He had a modest publication record and apparently had not remained at an institution long enough to supervise a doctorate to completion. Three more experienced finalists were passed over, including two women of colour.

Those finalists are not merely background figures in Arday’s story. An established Cambridge chair brings permanent funding, research support, prestige, and influence capable of redirecting a career. Because two were women of colour, the decision cannot be reduced to white applicants displaced by a Black one. It raises a harder question: did Cambridge follow its published criteria or prefer the candidate whose biography most visibly demonstrated institutional transformation? Diversity rhetoric does not answer the fairness question when other diverse candidates were also passed over.

We cannot prove that Cambridge selected Arday merely because he was Black. Nevertheless, the university was under pressure to diversify, promoted him as its youngest Black professor, and made his extraordinary personal history central to the appointment.

Questions were soon raised about more than citation practices. Scholars privately identified problems in his papers; corrections followed, as did a lengthy dossier alleging plagiarism. Arday had also claimed to have run 600 miles in six days, later revised to 12, and to have raised more than £5 million for charity, later explained as the work of a large collective. Universities disputed visiting professorships listed in institutional biographies.

Cambridge initially resisted further examination and described the criticism as a vile campaign against him. A journalist pursuing the story was investigated after a harassment complaint, although police took no action. Liverpool John Moores University, which awarded Arday’s doctorate, had cleared him of wrongdoing and allowed the degree to stand. Intentional plagiarism therefore remained disputed when he died.

Arday was also subjected to documented racist abuse, while his family and supporters maintain that legitimate scrutiny became disproportionate public hounding. That possibility cannot be dismissed merely because serious questions existed. Evidence may justify investigation without justifying every insinuation, joke, or intrusion that follows.

We need not adjudicate every allegation to recognize Cambridge’s failure. Questions that should have received prompt, private, and transparent examination instead became entangled with race, threatened litigation, institutional defensiveness, and eventually public humiliation.

Two-tiered standards are commonly defended as remedies for previous discrimination. Yet when an institution lowers, obscures, or merely appears to vary its standards according to identity, the benefit carries an asterisk. Candidates passed over cannot know whether they received equal consideration. The institution weakens the connection between its credentials and competence. Accomplished minority scholars inherit suspicion that their achievements may have been awarded rather than earned.

The supposed beneficiary is not necessarily helped either. Preferential treatment can deny someone the rigorous assessment, honest feedback, and “critical friends” needed to expose weaknesses before they become public disasters. Arday was elevated and defended as an institutional symbol; when that protection gave way to investigation, he personally carried a burden created partly in committee rooms.

Boghossian’s desire to “burn it all down” recognizes the collapse of confidence but offers too indiscriminate a remedy. Cambridge’s failure does not discredit every graduate or Black academic. The better response is to apply common selection standards, verify important claims, investigate complaints independently, publish enough to sustain public trust, and support the person under examination. Employers can likewise look beyond prestige and ask candidates to demonstrate what they can do.

Arday’s death should not erase legitimate questions, just as the allegations should not consume the human being. Equal standards make genuine inclusion credible while protecting individuals from becoming fragile symbols of institutional virtue.

 

References

Dan gives his opinion on some of the issues with Islam.

Public arguments about biological sex often become tangled because several different questions are treated as though they were the same. Chromosomes, hormones, genital development, secondary sexual characteristics, and identity are placed into one conceptual pile, and the resulting complexity is then offered as evidence that sex itself must be a spectrum.

In his 2025 commentary, “Why There Are Exactly Two Sexes,” Colin Wright argues that this confuses the definition of sex with the mechanisms that determine it and the traits that ordinarily develop from it.

His central claim is straightforward: in anisogamous species, including human beings, sex refers to one of two reproductive functions. Male organisms are organized around the production of small gametes, or sperm; female organisms are organized around the production of large gametes, or ova. There is no third gamete type and, therefore, no third reproductive sex.

The qualification concerning biological function matters. Children, elderly people, infertile adults, and people with developmental conditions do not become sexless because they are not presently producing gametes. They belong to the reproductive class their bodies developed toward, even when that reproductive system is immature, impaired, or nonfunctional.

Five Sources of Confusion

Wright addresses five arguments commonly used to deny that sex is binary.

First, some fungi and slime moulds are said to possess hundreds or thousands of sexes. Wright explains that these organisms have numerous mating types: compatibility categories determining which organisms can reproduce with one another. Mating types are not sexes because they are not organized around the production of sperm and ova.

Second, variations such as XXY, X0, XX males, and XY females are offered as evidence that chromosomes create more than two sexes. This confuses how sex is determined with what sex is. Different species use chromosomes, temperature, environmental signals, or other mechanisms to direct sexual development. These mechanisms vary enormously, while the two reproductive functions remain the same.

Third, differences or disorders of sex development are presented as positions along a sexual continuum. These conditions demonstrate that sexual development is complicated and can produce ambiguous outcomes. They do not, however, produce a third kind of gamete or reproductive system. Difficulty classifying a rare individual does not create another reproductive class.

Fourth, sex is sometimes described as a cluster of chromosomes, hormones, anatomy, neurological features, and secondary characteristics. Since these traits vary, the argument goes, sex must also vary along a spectrum.

Wright’s answer is that these traits are causes, indicators, or consequences of sex, not its definition. A trait can only be described as male-typical or female-typical because males and females have already been identified by some independent standard. Remove the reproductive distinction, and the labels “male-typical” and “female-typical” lose their biological reference point.

Finally, multilevel models speak of chromosomal sex, hormonal sex, anatomical sex, behavioural sex, and sometimes gender identity as though each were a separate component of an individual’s sex. Such models may help physicians describe a patient’s particular biology, but description should not be confused with definition. A medically useful inventory of sex-related traits does not establish the existence of additional sexes.

Variation Does Not Abolish the Categories

The most useful distinction in Wright’s paper is between variation in sex-related characteristics and variation in the number of sexes.

Hormone levels vary. Bodies vary. Secondary sexual characteristics overlap. Sexual development can proceed atypically, and a small number of people may be difficult to classify unambiguously. None of this is denied by the reproductive definition.

A category can contain substantial variation without becoming a spectrum of categories. Human beings vary enormously in height, strength, appearance, fertility, and hormone levels, but this variation occurs within and between the two reproductive classes. Complexity at the level of traits does not generate additional reproductive functions.

A competing commentary by Brian Earp, Morgan Carpenter, and Sebastian Porsdam Mann accepts the existence of two gamete-based reproductive plans, but argues that “sex” can have additional, context-dependent meanings when classifying actual bodies in medicine or public policy. That is a serious practical consideration: a physician may need more information than a male-or-female box can provide.

It does not, however, refute Wright’s biological argument. Medical forms may require detailed information about anatomy, hormones, medications, pregnancy capacity, or surgical history. Recording those facts improves patient care without turning each combination of traits into another sex.

What the Paper Does — and Does Not — Establish

Wright’s paper is a scholarly commentary synthesizing evolutionary and developmental biology, not a new experiment or dataset. It provides a clear biological definition and tests several prominent objections against it.

Its argument is directly relevant when someone claims that chromosome variations, intersex conditions, overlapping characteristics, or numerous fungal mating types prove that human beings have more than two sexes. They do not.

The paper does not, by itself, settle every dispute involving transgender people. Biological description and public policy are related but separate questions. How society should handle identity, medical treatment, legal documentation, privacy, or sex-separated spaces requires additional evidence and moral reasoning.

That boundary strengthens rather than weakens the argument. Human dignity does not depend upon pretending that biological categories are unreal, and biological categories do not spaces requires additional evidence determine how every person must be treated in every circumstance.

There are two sexes because sexual reproduction in human beings is organized around two gametes and two corresponding reproductive functions. Developmental variation is real, sometimes medically significant, and deserving of humane treatment. It does not supply the missing third gamete required to create a third sex.

Complexity should improve our descriptions. It should not be used to erase the biological distinction that makes those descriptions intelligible in the first place.

Evidence note: Wright’s article was published as a commentary in Archives of Sexual Behavior. He is a salaried employee of the Manhattan Institute and has provided paid expert testimony on related issues; both are disclosed in the paper. The article is open access and can be read in full here.

Arvo Pärt’s Salve Regina is a contemplative setting of the Marian antiphon for mixed choir and organ, lasting approximately 10–12 minutes. A quiet, steady organ pulse supports restrained choral writing that gradually expands from unison into as many as eight independent voices. Its recurring 3/4 metre follows the natural rhythm of the Latin text, while the music progressively becomes denser, darker, and more concentrated before reaching a powerful but controlled conclusion. Characteristically economical in its materials, the piece depends upon excellent tuning, sustained breath, rhythmic steadiness, and a unified choral tone rather than overt virtuosity

Scope note: Ending contact can be necessary when there is genuine abuse, violence, or coercion. This essay examines a narrower pattern in which parental disagreement is redefined as harm and estrangement becomes a means of enforcing ideological agreement. It describes a possible mechanism, not every estranged family.

Imagine your child comes home one day, sits down at the kitchen table, and announces a new identity.

You are surprised. Perhaps there were warning signs you missed; perhaps there were none. You ask how long this has been going on, what the words mean, where the conclusion came from, and whether puberty, loneliness, autism, bullying, sexuality, depression, or social pressure might be involved.

These seem like ordinary parental questions. You have known this person since infancy and remember illnesses, temperaments, friendships, fixations, fears, and earlier versions of the story your child is now telling.

The questions, however, do not begin a conversation. They provoke accusations. You are not listening. Your hesitation is invalidating. Your request for time is harmful. Even your memories may be dismissed because you supposedly never understood the “real” person underneath.

Then comes the warning: affirm this identity, or risk losing the relationship.

The parent thinks the conversation has just begun. The child may have been taught that it was settled before anyone sat down at the table.

The Conversation Before the Conversation

Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans, or PITT, publishes first-person accounts from families encountering gender identity in schools, therapy, medicine, and their own homes. These accounts are generally anonymous and selected for publication, so they cannot establish prevalence. They can show us what the pattern looks like when it occurs.

In one account, a mother writes that her daughter encountered a school module on identity, researched transgender identity on TikTok, and adopted a new name and pronouns, which the school then used without informing the parents.

Another account comes from a former social-justice organizer who had socially transitioned her young son. She describes a gender therapist advising parents to eliminate contact with relatives and friends who would not affirm the identity. The therapist also helped parents compose letters setting the conditions for continued contact: use the new name and pronouns, embrace the identity, or lose access to the child.

These are different families, but the sequence is similar. An identity is declared after an interpretation has already been supplied and possible objections have been morally classified. By the time the family receives the announcement, the argument may have been rehearsed and the conclusion already reached.

How Disagreement Becomes Danger

One way to understand this process is through the activist vocabulary shaped by Critical Theory. It is not the only influence; therapeutic culture, adolescent development, peer dynamics, and social media also matter. Critical Theory helps explain the particular move by which disagreement is recast as evidence of oppressive power.

Parents do not need a graduate seminar on Horkheimer, Foucault, queer theory, or critical pedagogy. Nor does a child need to have read any of them. Ideas enter popular culture through institutions, professional practices, activist language, and social media long after their academic origins have disappeared from view.

Within the simplified activist framework, biology, objectivity, parental authority, and professional neutrality may no longer provide common ground. They are understood as products of a society organized by unequal power, with the family serving as one of the institutions through which its norms are reproduced.

Parental disagreement therefore takes on a different meaning. The question of whether the identity claim is true, incomplete, mistaken, or one possible explanation among several recedes from view. Attention moves to the people asking it, whose doubts can be attributed to prejudice, social conditioning, fear, or a desire for control.

Authority then passes to those believed to possess the correct understanding. The child has privileged access to an authentic inner identity, while affirming peers, activists, educators, or therapists supply the language needed to interpret it. The parents may possess years of intimate knowledge, but that knowledge counts for little once they have been classified as captives of the system being challenged.

The resulting message often sounds something like this:

This is who I am, and my identity is not open for discussion. Questions are invalidating, and invalidation causes harm. The people supporting me understand what I need. If you cannot affirm me, you are not safe for me to be around.

A child’s distress has now become proof of a particular explanation, while listening has become indistinguishable from affirming it. Parents cannot evaluate the claim because the act of evaluation has already been classified as abuse.

The Strongest Argument for Affirmation

There is a serious objection to this account. Gender-related distress can be real and severe, while some parents respond with ridicule, threats, relentless interrogation, or attempts to frighten the child into silence. Even gentle questions may be experienced as rejection by an already distressed adolescent.

A clinician may also believe that immediate affirmation protects the child. Research has associated family rejection with worse mental-health outcomes among LGB and transgender young people, while family acceptance is associated with better outcomes. Limiting contact with non-affirming relatives may therefore appear less like ideological enforcement than suicide prevention.

That evidence matters, but it does not establish everything subsequently attached to it. The foundational Family Acceptance Project research was observational and included rejecting conduct such as verbal and physical abuse, exclusion from family activities, attempts to change sexual orientation, and blocking access to friends and resources. Later studies involving transgender participants also found associations between acceptance and better outcomes, but they did not establish that parental questioning is equivalent to rejection or that estrangement improves outcomes.

Research showing that family hostility can harm children does not prove that affirmation is the only form of support. The Family Acceptance Project itself emphasizes educating and preserving families, not casually removing them.

Many parents, teachers, and clinicians navigate these questions in good faith without producing estrangement. The problem is not that every affirming adult intends to divide a family. It is that a framework which equates evaluation with harm makes that division easier to justify.

Short-Circuiting the Triangle

A healthy relationship between a child, parents, and helping professionals should resemble a triangle because each party knows something the others do not. The child knows what the distress feels like; parents know the child’s developmental, medical, and familial history; and teachers observe the child in another environment. Counsellors may add specialized knowledge, but none possesses the entire picture.

The triangle is short-circuited when an outside adult forms an interpretive alliance with the child against the parents. Rather than helping the child bring a difficult question into the family, the adult explains the parents’ anticipated response beforehand. The parents enter the conversation with their role already assigned: they are no longer participants whose knowledge might matter, but obstacles against which the identity must be defended.

Adolescents are not empty vessels in this process. Some actively seek communities and explanations that offer certainty, belonging, moral purpose, or relief from distress. They may intensify the framework more aggressively than the adults who introduced it. Social influence works through participation as well as instruction.

Nor does short-circuiting the triangle require an organized plan. Peers and social media can produce the same effect because the vocabulary is already circulating throughout the child’s social world. An accountable professional should support the child without quietly appointing himself the child’s replacement parent.

From Hidden Identity to No-Contact

The framework carries something resembling a gnostic hierarchy of knowledge—not a direct historical lineage, but a similar shape. The child’s visible body and remembered history can be displaced by an authentic identity hidden within. The child feels that truth, affirming adults possess the language to interpret it, and dissenting parents remain trapped within an oppressive understanding.

Yet the child is simultaneously told that no one else can determine who they are and guided through a remarkably specific collection of approved concepts. What presents itself as entirely personal discovery can become difficult to distinguish from a closed explanatory system.

Once disagreement has been converted into harm, estrangement begins to look like self-preservation. Continued contact exposes the child to harmful beliefs, while parental objections to the separation appear to confirm their controlling nature. Even capitulation may validate the strategy by suggesting that only a sufficiently firm ultimatum could make the parent change.

The relationship itself becomes leverage:

Accept the interpretation, use the required language, and confess the harm you caused—or lose access to your child.

Noelle Mering, speaking with Peter Boghossian about the no-contact movement, describes a wider cultural shift in which ideological commitments can supersede inherited relationships. A chosen family can be invaluable to someone abandoned or abused by relatives. It can also become fragile when “chosen” means perpetually subject to being unchosen.

Families are difficult partly because they place us in enduring relationships with people who remember us, irritate us, and sometimes tell us things we do not want to hear. That friction can become cruel, but it can also produce humility, forgiveness, negotiation, and growth. Removing everyone who contests our preferred self-understanding also removes many of the people capable of telling us when we might be wrong.

Boundaries or Ultimatums?

None of this means that a person must remain accessible to an abusive parent. Violence, sexual abuse, sustained emotional cruelty, coercive control, stalking, credible threats, and repeated violations of clear boundaries can justify temporary distance or permanent estrangement. Family membership is not permission to torment someone indefinitely.

The relevant distinction is between identifiable abusive conduct and ideological disagreement. A parent who threatens, assaults, stalks, or deliberately humiliates a child has done something morally different from a parent who asks questions, requests time, remembers events differently, or declines to affirm a contested claim.

Calling both situations “unsafe” does not make them morally equivalent.

A boundary identifies conduct that another person may not direct at you. An ideological ultimatum requires another person to adopt your beliefs as the price of remaining in your life. Both may use therapeutic language, but they do very different things.

Remaining a Person in Relationship

Near the end of the podcast, Mering introduces high differentiation from Bowen family-systems theory. The term sounds technical, but the practice is not.

A well-differentiated person knows what they believe and can express it when appropriate, yet remains capable of hearing disagreement without experiencing it as the destruction of the self.

This allows a parent to say:

I love you. I believe your distress is real. I will listen, and I will help you. But love does not require me to surrender my judgment, lie about what I believe, or treat questions as violence.

The child must eventually be permitted the same independence. Growing up involves disagreeing with parents, testing their beliefs, making mistakes, and sometimes reaching conclusions the parents will never share. Neither side can develop if remaining in relationship requires the surrender of judgment.

High differentiation offers something difficult but humane: two people remaining distinct without treating that distinction as danger.

No-contact may sometimes be the final protection against demonstrated abuse. It should not become the opening move in a conversation the parents were never permitted to have.


Did You Want to Know More?

Here are my feet.

They have appeared on this blog before. In 2011, I published an essay called “Heteronormativity—Beware of the Male Toering”, defending my decision to wear two gold rings on my index toes. Fifteen years later, the rings remain. They have recently acquired a companion: a simple brass band on the middle toe of my right foot. Apparently, this is how empires begin.

 

The conclusion of that old essay has aged better than the theoretical machinery I used to reach it. Jewellery still cannot make a man gay, other people should still mind their own feet, and I still think toe rings look cool. I am rather less convinced that every raised eyebrow reveals the grinding machinery of patriarchal oppression. Some people are enforcing a social convention. Some are uncomfortable with men who wander beyond ordinary masculine presentation. Others simply think toe rings look silly. They are entitled to be wrong.

Same feet, less theory.

The toe rings were never the whole story, anyway. I simply prefer being barefoot.

Shoes Are Tools

A shoe is a useful piece of equipment. It protects the foot from cold, sharp objects, hot pavement, workplace hazards, and the many botanical weapons concealed in my yard. What it is not is a natural extension of the human body that must remain attached whenever we are awake.

At home, I am barefoot. For light yardwork, I am barefoot. When the task involves shovels, burrs, thorns, or other objects likely to make me regret my principles, I wear my gardening sandals.

Edmonton winter also imposes certain limits upon the project. I wear boots outside because I may be an idiot, but freezing off my digits would be an excessive commitment to the bit. Once inside, however, the boots come off and the Birkenstocks go on.

Teaching? Barefoot in my Birks.

Working at the University? Barefoot in my Birks.

Choir? You guessed it: barefoot in my Birks.

Yes, I recognize that wearing sandals is not technically barefoot. In ordinary conversation, however, “barefoot in my Birks” communicates the important fact: no socks have been permitted to interfere with relations between my feet and the surrounding world.

The Modest Case for Bare Feet

There are health claims to be made here, but they should remain modest. Research on minimalist footwear—not quite the same thing as padding around one’s house barefoot—has found that giving the foot more work to do can increase foot-muscle strength. One six-month study reported a substantial increase among people doing ordinary daily activity in minimal shoes. Another found that walking in minimalist shoes strengthened foot muscles about as effectively as a programme of targeted foot exercises.

That is interesting, but it is not permission to construct a wellness religion. A systematic review of habitual barefoot walking and running found only limited evidence for long-term effects on biomechanics and health. Barefoot living will not align your chakras, draw electrons from Mother Earth, purge toxins, or otherwise perform the usual miracles advertised by people selling something.

My argument requires none of that.

Feet move, flex, spread, grip, and feel the surface beneath them. Shoes necessarily alter some of that experience in exchange for protection. Sometimes the exchange is worthwhile; sometimes there is nothing present from which the foot needs protecting. If I am sitting on my couch, walking across the kitchen, or wandering through soft grass, a shoe has no urgent work to perform.

Comfort is also a legitimate good. Not every preference needs to be converted into a medical intervention before we are allowed to enjoy it. I like the feeling of cool floors, warm decks, grass, and bare heels resting on the edge of a chair. I dislike the constriction and accumulated warmth of socks. That is not a clinical trial, but it is entirely adequate evidence about which state makes my own feet happier.

This Is Not Medical Advice for Everybody

There are people who should not follow my example. Diabetes, neuropathy, poor circulation, impaired sensation, wounds, balance problems, and other medical conditions can make an unnoticed foot injury dangerous. Anyone dealing with those risks should follow medical advice rather than the example of a barefoot blogger from Edmonton.

The environment matters as well. Wear proper footwear around broken glass, machinery, chemicals, extreme temperatures, heavy objects, and workplaces with safety requirements. Do not stride onto someone else’s construction site and announce that The Arbourist has liberated your toes.

This is a defence of sensible freedom, not a demand for podiatric anarchy.

Free the Toes—Within Reason

Most of us spend our lives moving between two unnecessary extremes. At one end, shoes become compulsory equipment even when nothing requires them. At the other, barefoot evangelists promise that direct contact with the lawn will repair modern civilization.

There is a comfortable middle path. Wear shoes when they have a job. Take them off when they do not. If going barefoot feels good and the ground is safe, let your feet out for a while. If it hurts, put the shoes back on. No consciousness-raising session is required.

Does wearing a toe ring make a man gay? Still no.

Does going barefoot make him enlightened? Also no.

It may simply mean that his feet are comfortable, his increasingly numerous toe rings remain visible, and the socks have once again been defeated.

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Kaine's Korner

Religion. Politics. Life.

Connect ALL the Dots

Solve ALL the Problems

Myrela

Exploring nature, ancient civilizations, art, photography, and written reflections through stories, visuals, and cultural inspiration.

Women Are Human

Independent source for the top stories in worldwide gender identity news

Widdershins Worlds

LESBIAN SF & FANTASY WRITER, & ADVENTURER

silverapplequeen

herstory. poetry. recipes. rants.

Paul S. Graham

Communications, politics, peace and justice

Debbie Hayton

Transgender Teacher and Journalist

shakemyheadhollow

Conceptual spaces: politics, philosophy, art, literature, religion, cultural history

Our Better Natures

Loving, Growing, Being

Lyra

A topnotch WordPress.com site

I Won't Take It

Life After an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Unpolished XX

No product, no face paint. I am enough.

Volunteer petunia

Observations and analysis on survival, love and struggle

femlab

the feminist exhibition space at the university of alberta

Raising Orlando

About gender, identity, parenting and containing multitudes

The Feminist Kitanu

Spreading the dangerous disease of radical feminism

trionascully.com

Not Afraid Of Virginia Woolf

Double Plus Good

The Evolution Will Not BeTelevised

la scapigliata

writer, doctor, wearer of many hats

Teach The Change

Teaching Artist/ Progressive Educator

Female Personhood

Identifying as female since the dawn of time.

Not The News in Briefs

A blog by Helen Saxby

SOLIDARITY WITH HELEN STEEL

A blog in support of Helen Steel

thenationalsentinel.wordpress.com/

Where media credibility has been reborn.

BigBooButch

Memoirs of a Butch Lesbian

RadFemSpiraling

Radical Feminism Discourse

a sledge and crowbar

deconstructing identity and culture

The Radical Pen

Fighting For Female Liberation from Patriarchy

Emma

Politics, things that make you think, and recreational breaks

Easilyriled's Blog

cranky. joyful. radical. funny. feminist.

Nordic Model Now!

Movement for the Abolition of Prostitution

The WordPress C(h)ronicle

These are the best links shared by people working with WordPress

HANDS ACROSS THE AISLE

Gender is the Problem, Not the Solution

fmnst

Peak Trans and other feminist topics

There Are So Many Things Wrong With This

if you don't like the news, make some of your own

Gentle Curiosity

Musing over important things. More questions than answers.

violetwisp

short commentaries, pretty pictures and strong opinions

Revive the Second Wave

gender-critical sex-negative intersectional radical feminism