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Hymns suck. And I don’t just mean in moral or rational sense, though they definitely suck in those areas as well. I mean musically. They are absolutely wretched. As a fledgeling choral singer, I’m aware of some wonderfully fantastic religious based pieces that are beautiful to listen to and sing, filled with ludicrous immorality though they may be. But those pieces aren’t for the congregation. They are much to difficult and stimulating. No. The order of the day is simplicity and monotony to lull the brain to sleep, priming it for whatever indoctrinated message pasted nakedly across the song. Repetitive droning is key to drilling ugly ideas into the poor minds of parishioners. Of course, if you don’t buy into the B.S, then all you get is a hellishly dull experience that you wouldn’t call ‘music’ even at your most cynical.
If you haven’t checked out the godless comedy of Mitchell and Webb yet, I highly recommend you do so. Today’s viewing, from Series 4:Episode 3, according to David of Mitchell, presents a satirical look at not only the plodding tediousness of hymns, but also the inherent offensiveness of religion, no matter how happy a face they try to draw on it.
In our name, let us mock.
First, to any and all Christians who claim to believe the world is ending tomorrow, I don’t believe you for a second. I invite you to prove me wrong. Spend the rest of today donating every single penny and asset you have accumulated over you life to charity. Give up your house, your life savings, everything you own (maybe pack yourself a lunch) to the underprivileged. You won’t need it anyway, and the charity will look good on your resume when pining for positions in heaven. What’s the matter? Not enough faith? I thought not.
But before the second coming of christ (giggety giggety) we have another very important event: today is Draw Mohammad Day! Here is my 2011 contribution, a fine display of microsoft paint skills, if I do say so myself.
If you have no idea what this post is all about, here is a great vid from one of my youTube favs, Thunderf00t, explaining everything.
bleatmop
Mystro
Dead Wild Roses 
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