You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Humour’ tag.
HAMILTON, OH—Despite being the beneficiary of numerous societal advantages and having faced little to no major adversity throughout his life, local man Travis Benton has spent the last four years squandering his white male privilege on a sales floor job at Best Buy, sources confirmed Tuesday. “You can get by with a regular HDMI cable, but if you’re looking at a length longer than 10 feet, I’d go with a gold-tipped one,” said the man dressed in a bright blue polo shirt and pin-on name tag as he continued to fritter away such innate life advantages as greater access to higher education, leniency from the justice system, and favorable treatment from other white males who lead and make hiring decisions at a disproportionately high number of American companies. “The AudioQuest gold-tip is actually the cable I use in my own home entertainment center and it provides excellent audio and video clarity, plus it comes with a full five-year warranty, unlike the 90-day warranty of a bargain brand. For your money, you’re not going to find a better cable.” At press time, the man born into the world’s most affluent and privileged socioeconomic group was spending his 15-minute break silently consuming a sleeve of Donettes purchased out of a vending machine.
Admittedly, it looks fantastic, but is this something that is on many people’s bucket lists?
Dad: “Ya know son, before I die, I need to find a herd of people and learn to walk with them in precise motions…”
Son: “Why not learn to dance instead?”
Dad: “Good point.”
Well how here it is, enjoy.
Other that the fact that lie detectors are not reliable, here’s what to do… *g*
Good Sunday Morning to my fair readership here at DWR. Yes, you heard me right, the loophole in my militant atheism has been exposed! If becoming religious came along with the Star Wars movie force like powers – I’d be in like Flynn.
Because honestly, who wouldn’t want to do this? 
It would be awesome. The prevention of cat-hi-jinks for afar would be completely worth having to listen to some grammatically challenged Muppet ramble on about how awesome the Force is.
Having force abilities as a religion sounds nice until one imagines someone who doesn’t like you having the same sort of powers available to them. Then the whole lightside/darkside dance begins, I suppose. It seems to me that the context in which the ‘Force’ as a religion is set in lacks much of the moral ambiguity that pervades much of the current human experience.
Our current crop of religious bally-hoo doesn’t do much better though. To justify being a dick in christianity there are just so many hoops to jump through – cherry picking and misinterpreting biblical verses to justify your dickishness, ostracizing heathens, spreading your credulous bullshit, all of this takes time and a goodly amount of effort. Also, depending on how big a dick you need to be (Witch-hunts, Inquisitions), one needs many people baffled on and doing the same bullshit you are to get the ball rolling.
Being a darksider or Sith just seems a heckuva lot more straightforward. Set sail on the good ship Narcissism and let the “Force” be the wind at your back. Zero organizing (don’t be in way of the good ship Narcissism), zero need for justification, zero need for a movement other than fomenting a “Fuck Ya!”X” sure is a Badass” cult of minions to be cannonfodder/housekeepers. Going Sith is no fuss, no muss.
The starwars canon has the current religious poop-bricks beat hands down when it comes to the afterlife though. Your reward for living the pious life? Living for eternity with the abominable prats that come and bother you early on Saturday and Sunday morning. My sanity would have the life expectancy of a potato chip wedged in a pro-wrestlers ass crack.
But with the force, you get to come back and all chrome-blue and shiny and give ambiguous advice to the unlucky sods you choose to haunt aaaaaand then wave away your tosser-like behaviour by dropping lines like, “Well what I said was true, from a certain point of view…“.
No contest really. :)










Your opinions…