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Good Sunday Morning to my fair readership here at DWR.  Yes, you heard me right, the loophole in my militant atheism has been exposed!  If becoming religious came along with the Star Wars movie force like powers – I’d be in like Flynn.

Because honestly, who wouldn’t want to do this? 

It would be awesome.   The prevention of cat-hi-jinks for afar would be completely worth having to listen to some grammatically challenged Muppet ramble on about how awesome the Force is.

Having force abilities as a religion sounds nice until one imagines someone who doesn’t like you having the same sort of powers available to them.  Then the whole lightside/darkside dance begins, I suppose.  It seems to me that the context in which the ‘Force’ as a religion is set in lacks much of the moral ambiguity that pervades much of the current human experience.

Our current crop of religious bally-hoo doesn’t do much better though.  To justify being a dick in christianity there are just so many hoops to jump through – cherry picking and misinterpreting biblical verses to justify your dickishness, ostracizing heathens, spreading your credulous bullshit, all of this takes time and a goodly amount of effort.  Also, depending on how big a dick you need to be (Witch-hunts, Inquisitions), one needs many people baffled on and doing the same bullshit you are to get the ball rolling.

Being a darksider or Sith just seems a heckuva lot more straightforward.  Set sail on the good ship Narcissism and let the “Force” be the wind at your back.  Zero organizing (don’t be in way of the good ship Narcissism), zero need for justification, zero need for a movement other than fomenting a “Fuck Ya!”X” sure is a Badass” cult of minions to be cannonfodder/housekeepers.  Going Sith is no fuss, no muss.

The starwars canon has the current religious poop-bricks beat hands down when it comes to the afterlife though.  Your reward for living the pious life?  Living for eternity with the abominable prats that come and bother you early on Saturday and Sunday morning.  My sanity would have the life expectancy of a potato chip wedged in a pro-wrestlers ass crack.

But with the force, you get to come back and all chrome-blue and shiny and give ambiguous advice to the unlucky sods you choose to haunt aaaaaand then wave away your tosser-like behaviour by dropping lines like, “Well what I said was true, from a certain point of view…“.

No contest really.  :)