A big thanks to Sexgenderbody from the Daily Kos.
men –
we are the problem. all of the problems. and not just some of us – all of us. we are bullies, rapists, murderers and we live off the sweat and pain of anyone we can. you may not have raped or stolen land but you sure as hell dine off the privilege of being a member of the rape and murder class.
and the biggest problem are those of us who say nothing. we are the grease for the machine. we are cowards because we don’t want the brutality of other men to be focused on us. we are taught as children to play along with the rape and murder class rules or be punished.
so we keep our mouths shut when we should protest. we laugh at sexist jokes. or racist jokes. or we just slink away and say “I’m not like that”.
well guess what assholes – we are like that.
all of us.
so, if you’re not throwing yourself and every other man you see under the bus – you’re just another chickenshit rapist happy to skate by while others do the raping and live the fat life that buys you.
we don’t know 10% of how shitty it is to have to listen to the crap that comes out of our mouths every day. street or office harassment, stupid jokes at the dinner table, loss of money or healthcare or whatever simple autonomy we enjoy being denied to women, queers and people with less money or darker skin.
at every injustice of bloodshed and starvation, there is a man causing pain to someone else.
it’s a man’s world alright – and all this shit is man’s fault.
silence is consent motherfuckers. this shit doesn’t end so long as you stay quiet (and saying “I’m not like that” or “men get hurt too”…by men, btw – doesn’t count.)
speak up cowards. act up. yeah, and your life will be harder. you will lose shit. but that’s shit you stole – it ain’t yours. so buck up and make the term “act like a man” mean something other than rape or murder or violence.
Rattle a few cages? I certainly hope so.
bleatmop
Mystro
The Arbourist
Dead Wild Roses 
11 comments
March 16, 2013 at 6:59 am
Keith Wayne Brown
Well, as a gay person who happens to be a man and who also happened to be raped, it does rattle my cage. Highly heteronormative.
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March 16, 2013 at 8:40 am
VR Kaine
May rattle cages, but I don’t think it will rattle those of who the author is trying to change the behavior of. In fact, for the types of men we all detest here (the rapists, abusers, etc.) I think this type of rhetoric ends up having the opposite effect by giving those creeps a reason to assert themselves even more against the so-called “fags”,”wimps”,”whiners”, “feminists”, etc. attacking them.
I don’t share that characterization of him. This guy’s obviously hurt with whatever has happened to him, frustrated with the status quo and lack of reaction from his brothers, and insulted/disgusted to be in a man’s body. i sympathize for him, but all I think he’ll achieve with something like this is more of the same (apart from perhaps venting a bit).
Do we see any diatribes by a woman-hater swaying the potential penis slicers out there who are currently sharpening their knives? I don’t, and would think that after reading some MRA’s blabbing they’d even go get a bigger or a duller knife. So why, then, would we applaud or believe the same kind of rant coming from a man-hater is going to achieve any different? It’s just going to make the woman-haters hate even more, I think.
And as for the rest, it might feel great to let some steam out or not feel so alone in one’s level of frustration when a bunch of people on a blog shout out “Yeah!” And “Here, here!” over something like this, but in the end it will not have reached any of who the person is hoping to change. It’s unfortunate.
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March 16, 2013 at 9:11 am
theguywiththeeye
Hopefully so. I already agree.
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March 16, 2013 at 10:43 am
The Arbourist
@Keith Wayne Brown
I’m sorry that you had to experience such a violent offence against your person. No one should have to go through that.
Yes, our western societies generally are.
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March 16, 2013 at 11:13 am
The Arbourist
@Vern
I doubt it as well, but some people only hear one side of the story. They have no idea that alternative narratives exist and thus exposure to new ways of looking at society is a valuable experience.
Perhaps, but when they assert themselves they do so under the cover of a culture that tacitly supports their actions. The author of this piece is calling bullshite on not only the society that quietly condones these practices, but those who see shite go down and look away, because it is easier to stay within the acceptable fold of society than face the opprobrium of doing what is right.
Anger is necessary. Anger mobilizes, anger infuses ideals with passion and the will to fly in the face of the norm.
All the time Vern, on the net and in meatspace. One of the neat things about our culture is the inherent misogyny. If you happen to be female, you live it 24/7, non-stop, a never ending barrage of messages that reflect the ideals of patriarchal culture and your second class status.
The implicit assumption of your statement is that their is something resembling equal treatment of both men and women and in this platonic realm where people and their narratives have equal weight in society.
We get the woman-hate explicitly and implicitly all the time (for free even!). Hearing it come the other way, and I’m not sure if I can classify this is man-hate persay, as the focus of the piece is crappy assumptions our culture can impose on us, and those that go along with said assumptions.
Agreed.
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March 17, 2013 at 4:06 am
bleatmop
Bleh. As Keith pointed out, it is highly heteronormative. It’s also an argument of totalities, which is always a weak argument. I get what the linked writer is saying, but it’s neither accurate nor informative. It’s basically fan service to similar minds. So to that end, good on (I’m assuming) him for using his freedom to expression
However, this crap about murder and violence, which I’m assuming the writer is talking about taking the land of the aboriginal people of North America is very ethnocentric. First off, many people are aboriginal, or part at least. Second, the world is a much bigger place that the United States of America. People born and raised in Switzerland don’t exactly dine on those gains. Nor do those in Kenya. Or hundreds of other countries.
I get what this person is saying, but it’s just factually wrong. I’m certainly not going to throw every decent hard working guy that I have known under the bus. Most of them never tell rape jokes, don’t condone rape or violence against women, live in love relationships with their partners and work hard to get by in this life. I’m also certain that most of them are up for helping those who were wronged in the past. I mean, I live in Canada. We do have a very healthy social net here. Are things perfect, no, but things are generally getting better. This person can go out there and rage against the machine but I’ll stick to quietly reforming it year by year.
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March 17, 2013 at 10:41 am
VR Kaine
Anger is necessary. Anger mobilizes, anger infuses ideals with passion and the will to fly in the face of the norm.”
I agree that a degree of it, in the form of passion, is necessary, but what’s necessary before that is inspiration that leads to influence. Check out French & Raven’s Powerbases, for instance. This guy is trying to operate from just one of them, and it’s a weak one at that. His powerbase is next to zero, therefore his influence is next to zero, therefore his rant – no matter how passionate – is next to zero as well.
“All the time Vern, on the net and in meatspace.”
Really, Arb? MRA rants have led to you taking more of their side on an issue?
The implicit assumption of your statement is that their is something resembling equal treatment of both men and women and in this platonic realm where people and their narratives have equal weight in society.
Point well made and taken, Arb. I don’t have the magic formula to even things out but I do know that the typical “attack on manhood” approach has nothing other than “feels good to say” merit..
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March 17, 2013 at 2:16 pm
The Arbourist
@Vern
We’re talking about it… no? Just sayn’.
Absolutely not, but some of them do clarify their positions and thus granting clarity as to how to refute and best challenge the assertions put forth.
Ah, but it does have merit, as it perhaps allows us to see how utterly toxic the patriarchal concept of “manhood” is. Considering the how difficult it is to even raise the topic without people raising their shields, this could be considered a win… of sorts. :)
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March 17, 2013 at 2:30 pm
The Arbourist
@Bleatmop
It likely is a statement about the amount of violence commissioned by one gender.
Tell me again about arguing from totalities? Just because we didn’t do a thorough enough job at the whole genocide thing, should not be a something to point to and say, “Hey, look we’re not that bad; we didn’t kill all of you.”. No we merely dispossessed our aboriginal populations of their land, culture and history incidentally by the whole murder, swindle, genocide thing. No cookie for us, in this case.
The tenor of the piece would certainly suggest that, but I think that focusing on the idea that men need to do more to address the problems identified – that would be a good thing vs. being complicit in the system.
That might not be the truth for others of different socioeconomic classes, or different ethnic backgrounds.
I know you will Bleat, I’ve followed your commenting here and other blogs and your commitment to social justice is commendable.
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March 17, 2013 at 8:52 pm
VR Kaine
“We’re talking about it… no? Just sayn’.”
Like we’ve discuss before, I don’t equate “talking” with “action” and I personally don’t consider it a result. To me, it is useless without action following it. There I’ll go back to my previous point and concur with Bleatmop by saying that I don’t think his foul-mouthed lecture will inspire any healthy men to do anything different this point forward.
“Absolutely not, but some of them do clarify their positions and thus granting clarity as to how to refute and best challenge the assertions put forth.”
Fair enough.
Ah, but it does have merit, as it perhaps allows us to see how utterly toxic the patriarchal concept of “manhood” is. Considering the how difficult it is to even raise the topic without people raising their shields, this could be considered a win… of sorts. :)
Perhaps. Personally, I can’t see such a profanity-laced sweeping generalization being a “win” of any kind.
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March 18, 2013 at 3:13 am
bleatmop
“Tell me again about arguing from totalities? Just because we didn’t do a thorough enough job at the whole genocide thing, should not be a something to point to and say, “Hey, look we’re not that bad; we didn’t kill all of you.”. No we merely dispossessed our aboriginal populations of their land, culture and history incidentally by the whole murder, swindle, genocide thing. No cookie for us, in this case. ”
I’m pretty well aware of all the wrongs we’ve done to our native population and I know the education I got during my 1-12 about how we were so good to our natives compared to the evil USians was essentially government propaganda so that they could further marginalize our aboriginals and have the public support said marginalization. However I don’t think you got what I was saying there. When he says ALL men gain from the violence, he includes the ones that have been a victim of said violence. Such as aboriginal men. That’s what I meant by saying arguing in totalities is wrong. It’s essentially victim blaming aboriginal men despite being part of the culture that was dispossessed, murdered, swindled, raped and all that kind of stuff.
“That might not be the truth for others of different socioeconomic classes, or different ethnic backgrounds. ”
Since that part of my comment was about life here in Canada, I think that statement is correct. Just about everyone in Canada has a better life than they did 50 years ago. Not that I want to continue using the aboriginal people of Canada as an example, but being one of our most disenfranchised peoples it’s hard not to; but even them, for the most part, are better off one generation later. I know the particular reserve that I live buy didn’t even have a sewage system and running water until the 1980’s. That’s was worse off than Kabul had it. Now this same tribe has a world class tourist resort on their land, houses and rents out luxury cabins to rich people from Calgary, has a medical clinic and home care nursing office set up on their reserve and so on. That sounds like things are getting better in general to me. I do admit there are likely to be some peoples who are worse off, but then again I wasn’t talking in totalities but generalities instead.
Now if we are talking about outside of Canada, then ya, lots of people are getting the short end of the stick left right and center.
Anyway, I understand that this piece was certainly driven on emotion and basically raging against the machine, but its arguments were pretty weak. So as a ragey rally call to the base, I suppose it does its job. As anything else, I would suggest it’s lacking.
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