Why We Need Feminism

If women were equal I’d never have another woman tell me I’m not enough of one, or at all because I don’t fit her notions of how they believe women should be. And I’m not even talking about women who know I’m trans*. I get the judgement of other women whether they know I am or not. Some of it’s playful and harmless with friends, and other times it’s downright policing of gender norms and stereotypes which are harmful. But even if it is occasionally about me being trans* it’s still misogyny. Because really, who get’s the right to decide my gender and whether I measure up or not? Because it’s all part of the same nonsense. While misogyny in and of itself is not evidence of the patriarchy, it is it’s primary export. Because in the end it’s rape culture, patriarchy and the tonnes of internalized sexism which causes women to turn inwards on each other like vapid piranhas and pick each other apart. Because women are made to feel that the actions of every other woman represent their entire gender by our culture. Its because of rape apologetics, slut shaming, and patriarchal apologetics by men, but also by some women that our worth and agency is marginalized which gives people license to police our bodies and identities.

Very recently I had to block and remove an old friend whom turned out to be a slut-shaming apologist and a hypocritical transphobe. A woman who genuinely hates other women. Who believes that all women who aren’t like her and her small group of anti-feminist female friends are vane, slutty, horrible people by default. She polices the genders of other women, and their expressions with her off-the-collar comments about their appearence (which entails anything “too feminine” from women). And she attempted to police my gender with her oppressive religious beliefs which she felt righteously indignant when I dared resist the notion or tell her that forcing those beliefs on me was wrong (even sited pages where it was considered harmful/unethical by licensed therapists and psychologists in the APA). She felt so wronged that I’d be angry about it, and call her on it that she made several low blows at my character. I knew her for 12 years, close friends with her for 8. Sadly though, her own internalized misogyny makes room for no room for a woman who isn’t like her.

But that’s not really my point. Why the statements like that of Republican rape apologist # (whatever because I’ve lost count) now, is that it’s a window shifter. Because the fact that people are allowed to endorse criminal acts without being forced out of office immediately it shifts the focus in favor of misogyny. I think I heard it called “The Overton Window” but I’m not sure it’s referring to just racism, or all forms of bigotry. While people may see severe comments like that as being so off-the-wall that they can be easily dismissed and are therefore meaningless, but this is not the case. Because of their extremeness then can enable lesser but equally problematic aggressions and microaggressions against women. It’s like upping the ante. And in a GOP that is so misogynistic is it any wonder why it seems like it’s enabling other misogynistic politicians voice their equally vile bullshite? Given human psychology, it’s safe to say that when people hear nonsense like this that even the most unassuming person may think their own microaggressions and misogyny aren’t that bad, and therefore acceptable. I mean, to them “It’s just a joke” after-all (AKA They don’t care).

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