A Rocky Revelation: Unearthing Tim Sledge’s Lithic Liturgy

Picture this: a humble backyard transformed into a cathedral of stone, where a solitary rock—nay, a geological godhead—receives prayers with the stoicism of a million-year-old monolith. Tim Sledge, under the banner @GoodbyeJesus, has chiseled out a niche faith, turning a sedimentary slab into his spiritual bedrock. This isn’t just any pebble in the rough; it’s a gneiss guardian, a metamorphic marvel that outcrops as the cornerstone of his daily devotion.

Prepare for a pun-strewn pilgrimage through this rocky rhetoric. We’ll quarry the depths of his belief, where gratitude flows like a lava stream and forgiveness is hewn from the hardest schist. Expect puns that will shale your foundations, wit sharp enough to cleave granite, and a tribute so polished it could rival marble. This lithic liturgy promises to uplift—or at least erode—your preconceptions, one boulderous confession at a time.