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One of the neat features of a model is that it allows you to strip down the gloss and inessential features that can sometimes clutter arguments and details about a particular topic; in the case of this post the prevalence of the Patriarchy. I am certainly not part of the Blamatariat yet, but I feel that I am moving across the spectrum toward a more informed, knowledgeable state of affiars.
There has been a furour on the Intertoobz as of late over the decision (now repealed) by Blizzard, the makers of World of War Craft, to attach players real names to their characters in game and while posting in the game related forum. The frantic typing and posting resounded across the Net, there are threads about this topic everywhere from Pharyngula to Shakesville.
The questions and concerns raised range from harassment on forums to IRL stalking and worse. A jumping off point in one of the threads took me here to a brilliant post by Nattie on a thread from MetaFilter. I suggest you go read the entire post with the idea in mind that this could be viewed as a primer for understanding Patriarchy 101. To the uninitiated the patriarchy can seem a little bit of a fuzzy concept due to the implicit and ingrained nature of how the P functions. In light of potential learning from this piece I have added hyperlinks to the Shakesville Feminism 101 section for those seeking more illumination than the limited scope provided here.
Nattie says [italics, underlining and links, mine]:
“* If you do post a picture (I never did) people either go nuts over how hot you are and won’t leave you alone –– and the guys that perv on you treat you in a condescending way because hot=stupid; having to hear that shit addressed to other girls on Vent was really infuriating and uncomfortable — OR they make a point of constantly telling you how ugly you are and won’t leave you alone. There is no middle ground. They either want to fuck you or deride you. And it actually doesn’t matter how hot or how ugly you are, either; the hottest girls will get called ugly (and FAT, ALWAYS FAT), and the ugliest girls still have to deal with lonely guys who aren’t superficial. Any time the girl posts something thereafter, people will comment on her appearance, even though it has nothing to do with whatever is being discussed.”
The italicized statements are nothing new to the advanced Blamer, but to the uninitiated parsing them out can be
very illuminating. For instance, the options faced in the the statement A)”oh I you’re sooo hot I want to frak you” or B)”oh you’re so ugly, you are not soooo not”frakkable”. Both “choices” revolve around the idea that the primary feature of a female is her beauty as viewed by how attractive she is to the male gaze. Not the content of her character, not her opinions, not her factual claims, but just how she looks. So female worth is judged by how good of a sexual object they appear to be.
This ugly fact has a one to one correspondence to the real meatspace world. Women deal with this 24/7,all the time, on all stations full on assault on their identity as human beings.
“* If you ask someone to leave you alone, you’re a stuck up bitch. That means you always have to be nice to everyone. This was both unfair and character-building, because now I’m really good at talking to and disengaging from socially ill-adjusted people without hurting their feelings.”
Again, the social expectations of women are quite explicit and when you go against them you get flayed to the bone because you are not properly performing your sanctioned role. Since when should a person have to ‘be nice’ or be anything all the time or be labelled a ‘stuck up bitch’ (insert your gendered insult here)? As a woman you get to deal with this as well, just because you happen to possess a double X chromosome. There are severe repercussions when Patriarchally sanctioned behaviour expectations are not followed.
* Some people think anything you do or say is attention-whoring, even if you never wanted the attention. If a guy makes a joke in a forum post, he’s a funny guy. If a girl makes a joke in a forum post, she’s an attention whore. If a guy makes a good argument in a forum post, he’s a smart guy. If a girl makes a good argument in a forum post, she’s doing it for attention. She’s ESPECIALLY an attention whore if people like her or agree with her.
* Similarly, people assume that the only reason anyone likes you is because they’re one of your fanboys. So people don’t genuinely think women or funny or make good arguments, they’re just fanboys. If other girls like you, then it’s because women form cliques — even if in the previous breath they were saying that women are all catty and hate each other.
Do you notice the pattern of choices that is become prevalent? Women are presented with two choices both equally shitty that do nothing to further her own autonomy or identity. You can choose either one patriarchally approved stereotype or the other, both damage you as a person.
“A sizable portion of [the population in general]gamers are racist. (Sexism, racism, and homophobia are what make me most uncomfortable about the gaming community; in a serious way I feel more connection to gamers than any other group, so this pains me. Plenty of gamers are none of these things and I love them to death, but I think those same gamers realize what a huge problem it is in the community in general.) An even bigger portion of gamers are just not very racially sensitive — they’ll use “nigger” or “Jew” a lot, for example, even if they don’t think they actively feel anything against those groups, because they think it’s funny. In the same way that saying stuff is “gay” is especially pronounced in the gamer community, even the people that say slurs ironically or by force of habit inadvertently make actual bigots in the gaming community feel empowered because they don’t realize other people don’t mean those things like they do. It is much more common and acceptable to express racist opinions in the gaming community than society at large.”
The quote really speak for itself, but the tacit acceptance of gendered insults and racist putdowns only reinforces the negative stereotypes that have such corrosive effects in our culture.
I have barely scratched the surface of all the issues that could be covered, just with the quoted materials. Frighteningly there is almost a 1:1 correspondence to what happens in the gaming world vs. what goes on in the real world, it is just a little easier to see in the gaming world because people are less constrained by social norms and morality in the mostly anonymous world of gaming. (or shorter the vile sexism and batshite crazy stupidity is easily observed)
A big thank you to Shakesville for having such a comprehensive FAQ for dealing with the multitudinous issues that this particular world of warcraft blip brought up.
How deep does rape culture go? How deeply ingrained is the patriarchally approved objectification of women in our ‘civil’ society?
Observe.
Unfortunately wordpress fails at embedded video. I need to redirect you to the Feminsting blog to watch the clips in question.
This scene is played a total of 4 times, with a white couple and a black couple. In each clip the women are made up to look as if they had been recently abused. The difference between clip #1 and clip #2 is that the women are dressed provocatively in clip #2. Nothing over the top, but what would, on a Saturday night out be considered normal attire.
This is not a particularly scientific experiment, but rather a useful (and disturbing) insight on how our rape culture operates.
Let me boil it down. When women are dressed conservatively, they are more likely to receive help and people coming to their aid. While dressed ‘provocatively’ the story changes completely. People do not come to their aid, they avert their eyes, they tell the wait staff or ask to be moved… but do they intervene as the woman is being verbally and physically abused? Not one patron in the restaurant lifts a finger.
The two middle aged women in the second clip, the ones that asked to be moved, speculate that the abused woman in question is a prostitute as they disdainfully glare at her. Well she is dressed slutty and therefore obviously she deserves what she gets is the subtext of their reactions.
There is much to digest and compare between the two clips, and most of it is quite disgusting and disheartening.
Women are still looked upon as objects in our society. They are not judged as human beings, but as mere objects. More to the point, objects that deserve the abuse they receive based on how they look.
I’m done for awhile with this post.
As I was assiduously avoiding planning my lessons for my upcoming classes, I happened to redirect myself to this list from the Blog Mistress Mom.
It is a simple post really, just a list of reasons as to why her son is wearing pink. I stopped at this particular point:
“Because even if pink is for girls, what’s wrong with being (like) a girl?”
What a brilliant question. What brilliantly loaded question!
Just what exactly is wrong with being like a girl? I mean, women represent more than half of our population and are prominent role models in the majority of our lives (for better or worse).
So what is wrong with being like a girl?
When I deal with problems I rely on my critical thinking skills and rationality; they are the first responders to the majority of situations. Even when I need to produce a response with a emotional basis there is that precursor thought of ‘oh…this requires my emotional intelligence…lets spin up the empathy/feelings centers and put them to work’…(I realize this is quite “meta” and is certainly not 100% accurate, but necessary for where I am going.) So my first response to this question was of course what I’ve learned of feminist/gender theory:
The hetronormative values of our Patriarchal society implicitly and explicitly diminish, dismiss and marginalize females and the idea of femininity. The assumption: To be female or associated with femininity is to be inferior.
This underling assumption is appallingly prevalent in our society, it permeates every facet, every interaction, every assumption we base our reality on.
What this question did was prompt one of those delicious “Ah-Ha!” moments when a deeper understanding of a theory or notion finally sinks in. Where does rape culture come from? How can women still be oppressed when they have, in theory, equal rights? Why are the standards we live by so permeated by hetronormative values?
“To be female or associated with femininity is to be inferior.”
I am usually quite a fan of gaining knowledge and expanding my horizons and what not, but sometimes I wish I could claim the protection of ignorance, to shield myself from the profound sense of injustice and sadness that accompany such melancholy revelations.
Studying history brings similar moments; for instance discovering that we in the West are not the ‘good guys’ and more often than not are just as ruthless and inhumane as our official ‘evil’ enemies. What is worse (of course it gets worse) is that most of the people refuse to accept their unhappy role in this oppressive, exploitive, blood-drenched narrative we as a race have written. It is the same with the patriarchal nature of our culture, people refuse to see the superstructure because they have internalized the values the patriarchal structure presents. They are not defending “oppression” they are defending what is “right”. And what is “right” is rape culture and the oppression of half the human species…how dare you challenge those assumptions?
I challenge those patriarchal assumptions because they are fundamentally unjust and irrational. By default that makes my opinion an outlier…*sigh*… but given my political and historical views of history, this is nothing new under the sun.
All I can say now is thanks for the “Ah-Ha” moment Mistress Mom, I owe you one.
Way to go Calgary police department. I mean really what should we be expecting from the justice system? Five years just seems to fly by while waiting for the people that raped you to go to jail.
Deputy Chief Murray Stooke said:
“Regrettably, we have a situation that demonstrates we don’t have enough checks and balances in place and we’ve had a catastrophic result,” he said. “Our police service does regret very much that we’ve had a file stayed on the basis of system delay.”
What perfectly ugly example to set for those women who right now are considering bringing charges up against their rapists? Like it isn’t hard enough as is.
Alberta Justice spokeswoman Kim Misik said this result is “extremely rare” and they understand the woman and her family must be disappointed.
“We’re taking this seriously,” she said. “We want to make sure if there are any gaps in the process, we identify them to make sure this kind of result doesn’t happen again.”
Well that is nice. It certainly looks like you are managing your public image and spin very well.
The issues women face, once again, are marginalized. How can you justify a five (5!!) year delay in getting this in front of a judge? What kinda of clerical errors are we talking about here?
As the article says the police are profusely sorry. Good for them, it should much to appease their conscious because what was taken from the rape victim does not get fixed by a ‘sorry’ or an ‘oops we screwed up’. A conviction does not ‘fix’ anything either; how could it? Rape is a gross violation of a woman’s autonomy and personhood, leaving lasting scars and traumatic wounds that will follow her for the rest of her life. A conviction is the very least of what should be done.
The police could not have set a worse example for women and their potential rapists. Thanks for nothing CPD.

**Update: You know what absolutely tickles me frakking pink? This post is getting hits from people searching for rape pictures and pictures of pornography depicting rape. If you’re here that reason, welcome to exactly what you do not what to see. Women being treated as people instead of objects for your distortedly pervtacular fantasy world. I savour the sweet irony of you being directed to a feminist blog while looking for rape pictures. Your kind is pathetic.
But, hey if you are not here looking to reinforce mindless observance to patriarchal norms, be welcome and read on!
Andrea Dworkin was a brilliant feminist theorist, activist and writer. The question you should be asking yourself is why does this sound radical? Dworkin makes many brilliant points in her speech entitled “I Want A Twenty-Four-Hour Truce During Which There is No Rape”.
Dworkin pulls no punches:
“We are very close to death. All women are. And we are very close to rape and we are very close to beating. And we are inside a system of humiliation from which there is no escape for us. We use statistics not to try to quantify the injuries, but to convince the world that those injuries even exist. Those statistics are not abstractions. It is easy to say, “Ah, the statistics, somebody writes them up one way and somebody writes them up another way.” That’s true. But I hear about the rapes one by one by one by one by one, which is also how they happen. Those statistics are not abstract to me. Every three minutes a woman is being raped. Every eighteen seconds a woman is being beaten. There is nothing abstract about it. It is happening right now as I am speaking.”
On the Patriarchy:
“The power exercised by men day to day in life is power that is institutionalized. It is protected by law. It is protected by religion and religious practice. It is protected by universities, which are strongholds of male supremacy. It is protected by a police force. It is protected by those whom Shelley called “the unacknowledged legislators of the world”: the poets, the artists. Against that power, we have silence.”
On Male Privilege:
“That is the way the power of men is manifest in real life. That is what theory about male supremacy means. It means you can rape. It means you can hit. It means you can hurt. It means you can buy and sell women. It means that there is a class of people there to provide you with what you need. You stay richer than they are, so that they have to sell you sex. Not just on street corners, but in the workplace. That’s another right that you can presume to have: sexual access to any woman in your environment, when you want. Now, the men’s movement suggests that men don’t want the kind of power I have just described. I’ve actually heard explicit whole sentences to that effect. And yet, everything is a reason not to do something about changing the fact that you do have that power.”
On the Politics of the Right Wing:
“Some of you are very concerned about the rise of the Right in this country, as if that is something separate from the issues of feminism or the men’s movement. There is a cartoon I saw that brought it all together nicely. It was a big picture of Ronald Reagan as a cowboy with a big hat and a gun. And it said: “A gun in every holster; a pregnant woman in every home. Make America a man again.” Those are the politics of the Right.
If you are afraid of the ascendancy of fascism in this country–and you would be very foolish not to be right now–then you had better understand that the root issue here has to do with male supremacy and the control of women; sexual access to women; women as reproductive slaves; private ownership of women. That is the program of the Right. That is the morality they talk about. That is what they mean. That is what they want. And the only opposition to them that matters is an opposition to men owning women.”
Why if Freedom is to be had, Rape must stop:
“And on that day, that day of truce, that day when not one woman is raped, we will begin the real practice of equality,
because we can’t begin it before that day. Before that day it means nothing because it is nothing: it is not real; it is not true. But on that day it becomes real. And then, instead of rape we will for the first time in our lives–both men and women–begin to experience freedom. If you have a conception of freedom that includes the existence of rape, you are wrong. You cannot change what you say you want to change. For myself, I want to experience just one day of real freedom before I die. I leave you here to do that for me and for the women whom you say you love.”
You want to know where to start to fight the Rape Culture? Start here. One teaspoon, one hour, one woman at a time.
The Daily Show once again scores a home run showing the insipid, misogynistic and obstructionist nature of the current republican party.
See the clip here.
Essentially, it is a anti-government contractor gang rape bill. The bill would remove the option for US government contractors to put clauses in the contracts of their workers denying them the right to sue the company for being raped.
The American people let this party represent them for eight years.
*headdesk*
Update: Rob F. from the Words on What with the stats on the vote (see Misogyny) in the Senate . If the republicans keep this up I might begin having stirrings toward feeling proud to be Canadian.
Whoops…never-mind; latent nationalism squelched.
One finds a good fantastic post every so often. This one really helps for driving home the point of our patriarchal culture. The blog in question is called Kate Hardings’s Shapely Prose and the article is a primer directed toward men on the dynamics involved in approaching a woman. I intend this to be a reference post because I often come up against individuals who have no clue about how the constructs of the rape culture or the patriarchy or Feminism work.
Access the entire post here, with many thanks to the blog KHSP and Sweet Machine for her important words.
Sweet Machine says: […]
“To begin with, you must accept that I set my own risk tolerance. When you approach me, I will begin to evaluate the possibility you will do me harm. That possibility is never 0%. For some women, particularly women who have been victims of violent assaults, any level of risk is unacceptable. Those women do not want to be approached, no matter how nice you are or how much you’d like to date them. Okay? That’s their right. Don’t get pissy about it. Women are under no obligation to hear the sales pitch before deciding they are not in the market to buy.
The second important point: you must be aware of what signals you are sending by your appearance and the environment. We are going to be paying close attention to your appearance and behavior and matching those signs to our idea of a threat.
This means that some men should never approach strange women in public. Specifically, if you have truly unusual standards of personal cleanliness, if you are the prophet of your own religion, or if you have tattoos of gang symbols or Technicolor cockroaches all over your face and neck, you are just never going to get a good response approaching a woman cold. That doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a life of solitude, but I suggest you start with internet dating, where you can put your unusual traits out there and find a woman who will appreciate them.
Are you wearing a tee-shirt making a rape joke? NOT A GOOD CHOICE—not in general, and definitely not when approaching a strange woman.
Pay attention to the environment. Look around. Are you in a dark alley? Then probably you ought not approach a woman and try to strike up a conversation. The same applies if you are alone with a woman in most public places. If the public place is a closed area (a subway car, an elevator, a bus), even a crowded one, you may not realize that the woman’s ability to flee in case of threat is limited. Ask yourself, “If I were dangerous, would this woman be safe in this space with me?” If the answer is no, then it isn’t appropriate to approach her.
On the other hand, if you are both at church accompanied by your mothers, who are lifelong best friends, the woman is as close as it comes to safe. That is to say, still not 100% safe. But the odds are pretty good.






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