It was nice.

I was on a lovely sabbatical, my time was restful and chock full of repose, languidity, and tranquility.   I was defended from hearing about the woes of the Oppressed Christian Majority in the United States.  My ire toward the loon-factory that is organized religion was at an all time low.  It was going well until the farcical fail-o-tron of delusional christian nonsense headed by Kim Davis, remorselessly yanked my sensitive secular antenna and thus, sadly, my attention back to this specious example of ‘secular oppression’ being visited upon the goodly religious folk down in Kentucky.

What is going on here?  Well, you can see the video for yourself here, but Ms.Davis has thoughtfully(?) summarized her position for us with this quote:


Holy bullshit BATMAN! Quick! To the delusionally-religious Derp-cave!

Kim, you are state employee.  You must carry out your duties in accordance with the law, no matter what your particular sky-bhudda has to say on the issue. Government is a secular institution.  For those of us who subscribe to reality this case was over before it even begun.

Do your job or get fired.  End of story.  Or is it?

steal-derp-knight   Get out your funny hats and squeaky shoes ladies and gentlemen as the candidates from ongoing republican clown-car-collective are not letting this grave affront to religious liberty rest.  That would be reasonable.  And we all know “reasonable” in repub-lingo means ‘siding with the terrorists’ – and NO SIR! – we will not let the terrorists win.

” But two possible future presidents, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee and Senator Ted Cruz, disagree. They have declared #ImWithKim in what they deem a battle for religious liberty.

Huckabee wrote an open letter on his campaign site calling for Davis’s release that his supporters and others can co-sign.

The letter, which is addressed to U.S. President Barack Obama, Attorney General Loretta Lynch and Judge Bunning, calls for Davis’s immediate release.

“Exercising religious liberty should never be a crime in America. This is a direct attack on our God-given, constitutional rights,” the letter signed by Huckabee reads.”

Okay if the first sentence doesn’t make you want to make a mess of your undies, you are made of much sterner stuff than I.  Brave Clown #1 and #2 are quite passionate in their defense of ‘religious liberty’, yet it would seem they understand very little about what the term is, and how it works in secular society. Let’s humour them as they are not done digging yet.  Huckabee was clearly not satisfied with containing his insipid brain-flatulence to his own website so then our vainglorious Chucklebee took his important case to twitter:

“He said the judge’s decision to jail Davis “removes all doubts about the criminalization of Christianity” in the U.S. and called on others to “defend #ReligiousLiberty!”

He wondered who might be jailed next for refusing service to same-sex couples. “Pastors? Photogs? Caterers? Florists?” he asked.

The decision “undermines the Constitution” and the “fundamental right” of religious liberty,” he wrote.

Chucklebee saved the very best for last.

superderp“Judges, Huckabee believes, “cannot make law. They can only make ruilngs.”

Yep.  Those rogue SCOTUS lawyers are undermining the Constitution and fundamental religious liberties at *every* turn.  Who does the SCOTUS think they are?

    I would comment further on the qualifications of this potential future President, but my irony meter just gave up the ghost.   Chuckles closes with this:

“”I may stand alone, but I am absolutely faithful to the issue of marriage. Not because it’s politically expedient, but because it’s the Biblical position, the historical position and the right position. We must defend, protect and preserve traditional marriage,” he wrote on his site.”

Oh battle on brave christian warrior! Your oppressed majority pines to be released from the secular hell they encounter every day. Worship is banned, churches dismantled, people imprisoned for the mere act of practicing their faith!!!



Wheeze, ka-chung, *gurgle*:Irony meter destroyed. :(

In the CBC news article there is a whole section on the tepidly-parviscient, wet gym-sock, that is Ted Cruz, I suggest you read it if you enjoy having your brain bent and have not had your “no fuckn’ way’ quotient filled for day (week, year(?)).

So much stupid said with so many words.   But all is undone with this simple statement gleaned from the comments on said CBC article.

“Religious freedom does not mean that you can ignore portions of your job, administer only the portions of the law that you like, deny services to the public based on your personal beliefs or infringe on the rights of another.”

That is all.

Quit Squirming Cartoon[Sources cited: #1, #2]