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http://tehbewilderness.tumblr.com/post/162144889809/mypowerourpower-yayfeminism-screencaps-from
Articles like this highlight the systemic, societal based normative attitudes that we are bathed in. Male violence is looked on in a sympathetic light and the narratives spun around them serve as a justification for their actions.
Lying in wait with a shotgun under your family’s car and then dispatching your wife and daughter with a shotgun is not a fucking act to by sympathized with. This sort of violence and abuse is the hidden backdrop of our society and needs to brought to light in a most unsympathetic and biased toward the victim way. Laying low at the root of situations like these is the male patterned socialization that states that using violence is an acceptable way to solve problems – coupled with the notion that women somehow are property and less than human leads directly to shit like this murder suicide.
We need to change the programming for our men and despite the insidious backlash of from the patriarchy about letting ‘boys be boys’ we need to get them early and counter these messages that glamorize violence and dehumanize women.
This is what radical feminists mean when we say that feminism isn’t about equality, but is about the liberation of female people from male people. We don’t want to be as violent as men are.
Such a simple concept, yet so many seem not able to grasp the idea. Equality in itself isn’t a bad goal, but obtaining equality requires changing the groundwork of society that currently make it biased toward men and concomitantly disadvantageous toward women.
This bias, know in radical feminist literature and praxis is called Patriarchy. No version of equality achieved under patriarchy is particularly valid, since the ground rules and societal expectations are still fundamentally skewed. Thus, what radical feminists seek to do is discover, critique, and move toward the dissolution of patriarchal structures and products in society.
For example, the move toward the Nordic Model to help women exit prostitution because the majority of women involved in prostitution are there unwillingly and want to get out of the forced rape trade given the option. Prostitution is a corrosive force in society, as it is often paired with the human trafficking reinforcing the idea that women are second class citizens whose objectification is more important than their humanity.
It is the systemic dismantling of the structures of patriarchal male privilege that make radical feminism so threatening to some members of the class of men. It is also the best way to get a feel for how effective your feminism is – no pushback from the dudes means their privileged status isn’t being threatened – so what exactly are you doing (see most of liberal feminism)?
Pushback from the dudes usually means you’re on to something and should be impetus to hold to your criticisms and deconstructions. Nine times out of ten, you will be battling a social patriarchal construct or ‘that’s just how things are here’ type of situation. It’s a long haul, but even laying one brick for the next woman to stand on to carry on the fight just a little further is a laudable action, and sadly must often be the only notion that keeps a feminist going.
I know which minor superpower I’d like to have, I’d like the ability to switch minds of other people, or increase the amount of empathy others feel toward each other. So much of the problem (other than the dudely shit-stains that actually harass women) is that people just can’t relate or believe women when they say they have been harassed. This shouldn’t be rocked science – the social norms surrounding the harassment of women – need to be rightly moved over into the category of ‘unacceptable all the time’ and left their for perpetuity. We don’t condone physical violence on the streets, why are we allowing this psychological (and often physical) torment to continue? So a big thank you to the Gradient Lair for compiling this survey of street harassment responses.
“I recently mentioned a street harassment incident (they occur often, 10-75 times a week for over 20 years now) on Twitter, and I received a plethora of ignorant responses. I realized that these responses are common, so I documented them here.
1) “Gosh, where do YOU live?” This is asked for two reasons, besides the person being ignorant, of course. One is that they want to find a way to “contain” the negative behavior and associate it with a place where they don’t live, kind of like how people are currently pretending that racism is only in Florida and sexism is only in Texas. The second reason is that they want to be able to associate street harassment happening to a woman with some awful place that she “chose” to live in. This disregards class, race, culture and other factors that determine where people live.
2) “That NEVER happens to me!” Saying this is not empathetic, especially as a reply to someone explaining an awful street harassment incident. When cis hetero men say this, they are being ignorant of their male privilege. Of course they aren’t street harassed. (I am talking about street harassment here, which is highly gendered, not police harassment, for example, of Black men.) When White women (some of them are never street harassed or rarely street harassed compared to Black women) or women of a high social class (as street harassment does have some race/class factors at play) say this, they mean to infer the inferiority of the woman it has happened to. Because we live in a victim-blaming rape culture, if street harassment is deemed the fault of the person it happens to and it doesn’t happen to “some” women, it then implies that they aren’t as “low” as the women who experienced it.
3) “Just ignore it!” This is the lazy response from people who think they HAVE TO reply versus listening, understanding and empathizing with a woman who experiences street harassment. They are actually implying that the harassment is her fault for noticing it occurred. And at times, ignoring street harassment can have dangerous effects for a woman if that man is of the type who cannot handle being ignored and escalates the harassment to physical violence. “Ignoring” is a difficult thing to do anyway when speaking of something that happens with the frequency that I experience street harassment. How can I “ignore” up to 75 insults a week?
4) “Take it as a compliment; if you weren’t beautiful it wouldn’t happen!” This usually comes from patriarchal men who also street harass. They view anything they do, no matter how aggressive and dehumanizing as “flattering” for a woman. Further, this stance does not work. No matter how a woman looks, whether she is considered “beautiful” or “ugly,” men will justify harassment.
5) “Just move somewhere else!” This is the classist argument. Because street harassment tends to occur in cities (especially with public transportation) more than suburbs and in communities with higher male unemployment and poverty than ones that don’t have that, people assume that you can just pack up your S-Class Mercedes and buy a new mansion in a new city where though misogyny will still be present, naturally, it may not be in the form of street harassment. This also ignores the fact that no matter where I go, for example, I am a Black woman there. People decide to disrespect me based on who I am, not just based on what city I am in.
6) “You’re just saying that because the guy was ugly!” People who genuinely believe that street harassment is “flirting” think that disrespectful and aggressive men who are “attractive” are tolerable. After dealing with street harassment for over 20 years now, I know how utterly ridiculous this assumption is. I promise if the guy looks like Idris Elba and street harasses me, I am still angry. Plenty of physically attractive men street harass me (though most are ashy irritant pissants) and I am angry when it occurs. I don’t want to be harassed. I genuinely delight in a day where not a single man speaks to me. It’s peaceful and I am happy when I go home.
7)“Well say something smart back to him; that’ll fix him!” This response usually comes from those who have never experienced street harassment or it never became physical. While some men can be cursed out well (and I have done that) some cannot. Knowing which ones can and can’t is a guessing game that I don’t want to play in most cases. Just like ignoring one can escalate to violence, so can cursing one out.
8) “Go different places then!” So, women should not go to work, their coffee shoppes, their supermarkets, their bookstores, their laundromats, their gyms, etc. because men will be there and will harass them? Again, this is a location-associated response that ignores the fact that some women (like me and most Black women) are PROFILED and TARGETED for street harassment. It is about US, not the location.
9) “Well, a lot worse could happen!” This reeks of rape culture. Who is to determine what is better or worse? Only the person who experiences the wrath of misogyny, misogynoir, transmisogyny or homophobia (as some gay men are street harassed as well) knows what the experience is like. Even more legally serious violence like domestic violence and rape itself are brushed off as jokes or blamed on the victim. So the idea that I should be “thankful” for street harassment because it isn’t rape ignores the fact that no matter what happens to a Black woman, people will respond with victim blaming.
10) “What were you wearing; what did YOU do to cause it?” I addressed this response before in my post 6 Common Derailment Tactics Used In Conversations About Street Harassment and Sexual Assault and in Rape “Prevention” Advice That Doesn’t Include Tips For Men’s Behavior = Rape Culture. While the wardrobe comments are refuted over and over and why the street harasser or rapist is at fault is explained, people continually retreat to this ignorant argument. Girls are raped by their fathers wearing the clothing their fathers bought them. Women are raped fully clothed and in work clothes/uniform. Women are street harassed no matter what they wear. And regardless of clothing, the harasser or the rapist IS THE ONE AT FAULT.
Notice that in all of these examples ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY is applied to the men who street harass. None. Also, notice the lack of genuine concern and empathy for me or other women who are street harassed. Street harassment is a part of rape culture.
Related Posts: all posts tagged with “street harassment” on Gradient Lair”
As always, IBTP.
If there has ever been a motif to this blog, it would be the sentiment that J.K. Rowling captures in her Twitter feed. The experience of society for females and males is distinctly different, and that difference is deleterious for the female half of the world. Men like to dance around the fact that they have the world basically arranged and shaped for their benefit. The mask of ‘being a good liberal’ quickly slips though once it has been demonstrated that the female in question has the temerity not to back down and not know her place in society. Then we can see the real society that we live in. Threats to male dominance are quickly acted on and the abuse J.K describes happens.
Yeah, so dudes, if you don’t threaten and demean women, good on ya, cookie achieved. Next big cookie to win is speaking out and telling your mates when they are acting like assholes toward women in society. It’s scary, but worth it if you happen to value those born female.
Consider this conversation and then juxtaposition it with all the chatter one hears about ‘gender identity’ and ‘gender expression’. Add to your lens the notion of male privilege and how it often plays out when it comes to respecting the boundaries of females.
(not) Funny how that works.
http://auntiewanda.tumblr.com/post/160517895825/cecaeliawitch-this-was-a-pretty-grand-moment-and
The term ‘essentialist’ gets thrown out quite a bit as the tenets of radical feminism rub up against the new gender zeitgeist. Let’s look at a common argument that genderists make while interacting with Radical Feminists.
– Genderist: For not wanting women reduced to their genitals, you seem to care a lot about what kinda genitals trans/NB people have.
“Feminism can’t be boiled down to “not wanting women reduced to their genitals” it’s about not wanting women and girls to be raped, murdered, beaten, abused, exploited, disenfranchised, oppressed, and treated as subhuman by men (males) on the basis of our sex (female). Women’s oppression arises from our biology so sex matters. Saying women have vaginas and men have dicks isn’t reducing them to those body parts – it’s just correctly identifying that they have them.
—
This is such a tired argument. Reducing someone to their genitals would mean associating behaviours with the biological sex and then expecting people to behave the way their biological sex prescribes. But we have gender for that. Focusing only on biological sex frees people from gender norms. But it also highlights that one of the two sexes is oppressed on the basis of their biology. Neat, huh?“
Going by observable features isn’t even a particularly radical notion. What is radical is someone asserting that *you* have to buy into another individual’s subjective interpretation of reality – outside of totalitarian states, this sort of shit just doesn’t fly.
“Bernie Sanders isn’t saying anything about feminist politics. He’s not integrating any kind of feminist politics into his vision. I think the important thing is that we see this as the continuum of patriarchal power reasserting itself, and not as though Trump invented it or makes it possible—because it has been there. It’s been there, in Hillary Clinton’s husband and all of these men—except that Hillary Clinton’s husband and Barack Obama became the benevolent patriarchs. They’re the patriarchal men we can love.
Early on, when Barack Obama became president, people were asking him, “Well, is Michelle Obama going to influence you, is she going to come to meetings?” I kept waiting for him to say, “She’s as much a citizen as anybody else and she has a right to her opinions and thoughts.” Instead, he went along with the idea that no, she will be doing her wifely, motherly duties. And not, yes, this is an amazingly smart and analytical woman who will of course have a voice that’s heard.
Even though so many people were deeply moved by Michelle’s speech supporting Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire, even that speech still contained this heteronormative mom-ism idea. As though sexism outrages us because it offends our sense of decency, and not that it offends our sense of justice, of what women and girls deserve. We saw that happening again and again, this focus on a patriarchal mom-ism.”
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