Almost every knitter or crocheter’s taste in yarn goes through a similar evolution as their skill progresses.  When you’re just starting, everything takes forever, so thick yarns seem like a good idea – yay, fewer stitches makes more fabric!  And you buy yarn based on how pretty the ball looks, without much concept of what it might look like once it’s worked up.  Low-end yarn manufacturers, I’m sure, are aware of n00b yarn buyers’ purchasing habits, and pander accordingly.  Which is why the yarn aisle at Michael’s is full of stuff like this:

bernat.softeechunky.schoolyard

What on earth could go wrong?  I mean, it’s so cheerful, right?  Unfortunately, the length of each coloured segment is such that when you knit or crochet it, you don’t get a pretty rainbow, you get a wild splatter effect that looks like a clown exploded.  Hence the term, in the crafty circles in which I travel (not the mild-mannered granny circle!), “clown barf”.  And here’s the thing: I have a tendency to buy yarn faster than I crochet it, so when I was a n00b and had not yet become a yarn snob, I unknowingly bought a lot of clown barf, before I had a chance to learn my lesson.  And now that clown barf is languishing in a box in the basement, because I can’t possibly throw it out, but why would I want to work with it, when I also have Icelandic wool brought home from Iceland, and cashmere and silk blends?

Fortunately for the size of my stash, the Arbourist occasionally asks me to make something where fancee yarn would be inappropriate.  Like this tea cozy (we recently Got Civilization and started using a teapot!).  As you can see, cute on the ball (above); garish and splattery when made up.  It appears V-kitten is as much of a yarn snob as I am; he expressed his disapproval of the tea cozy by circling it several times sniffing it and biting it and booping it with his paw (it was too heavy for him to push off the table) before stalking off in a huff.

teacozyV

And then there was still some clown barf yarn left after that, so Arb asked if Shadow could have a bandanna.  Of course she can!

bandanna

Shadow is also a yarn snob; she was deeply unimpressed:

bandannaShadow

As was Fiona:

bandannaFiona

There is going to be poop in my shoes; the only question is, whose poop.