From the tumblr: But What Was She Wearing?


Anon:  “There is a difference between cat calling and complimenting someone. Some of these ladies have experienced true cat calling and some have merely been complimented and instead of saying thank you or flashing a brief smile, they chose to be rude and take it offensively. I’m not saying cat calling isn’t a negative thing and needs to be stopped. But ladies, we need to stop acting as though every compliment is a form of harassment. You’re beautiful and it’s okay for others to notice it.”


Dear Anonymous,

Two things:

First, you can notice something without commenting on it. People of all ages, gender identifications, religions, and sexual orientations do it all the time. You can keep your thoughts to yourself.

Second, who the fuck are you to tell anyone that they experienced something in the “wrong” way? How dare you say that these people “chose to be rude and take it offensively” – as though these situations are completely innocent, taking place in some weird, removed context where the women or men making the reports have never before been harassed or objectified; as if, without that specific understanding of tone and implication, the only real option is an absurd coin-flip assessment where, without adequately weighing appropriate responses, they make a wholly superficial judgement and “choose” to be “rude” and take it “offensively.” Are you really so ignorant, or are you “choosing” to be wrong?

Additionally, what the heck is “rude” about these individual’s responses? The fact that some state they didn’t feel safe, or the fact that they didn’t understand or respond to their situations as you, someone wholly removed from the reality of their respective experiences, believes they should have?


Fascinating stuff; you can see the gender divide in action.  So many Dudes have no clue about the Gauntlet women have to navigate *everyday*.