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Having recently gotten into a discussion about the misnamed “Gender Affirming Care” with some of my acquaintances we broached many contentious topics but one point that stuck out was when we got into pronoun territory.

My interlocutor was brought up the idea that the shortening of names – like Stan for Stanley – was a preference and that people were just being polite by referring to the individual as they would like to be referred to.

I stumbled a bit on proposing a counter argument for this point – in hindsight it is fairly straightforward to construct a response.

If a person insists on calling a self proclaimed “Stan”, “Stanley” it might indeed be considered a bit offensive.  So how is this different that using she/her pronouns for a male who is under the false notion that he is female?

Well, Stan and Stanly are both terms that are technically correct for the person in question.  Is it inconsiderate to ignore their wishes, yes certainly, but here in this free society we don’t have to associate with people who we judge are inconsiderate toward us.

The male expecting people to use “she/her” when to referring to him is a completely different case.  Pronouns and preferred names are not in the same category of linguistic use.  In English pronouns are sexed, thus males are attributed he/him and females are attributed she/her.

If you hold a set of beliefs that do not comport with reality – that is a male believing that he is somehow a woman (adult human female) – that is perfectly fine.  Your personal belief about your reality are of no concern to anyone else in society.

The expectation though of people outside your gender delusion to play along with and be party to your departure from the material reality we all share is not acceptable, especially if you are a person that sees the harm Gender Ideology does to women and society.

Thus, the argument of using a preferred name vs. a pronoun is distinctly a false equivalence as in the first case two real descriptors that accurately represent reality are being offered.  In the second case using the “wrong” pronouns is a decision to comport with reality or the decision to ignore the evidence your senses are reporting and submit to someone else’s interpretation of reality – no one is obliged to do so.

Both cases associated with someone is who you perceive to be offensive is not usually not a mandatory experience.  Occasionally being offended in society is a part of life and one must learn to deal with it.

Compelling the speech of others is a distinctly authoritarian notion and should not be encouraged in a society that values freedom of thought and expression.