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I’m looking for the transcript (found it)because sometimes the applause drowns out the speaker. In any case, this is a command performance and emphasizes a few important points about discourse in our society in general and feminism in particular.
I remember how the park, outside of parked cars, was frozen with quiet and darkness, when your anger shot through the night.
“Why do you call yourself a feminist? You guys are equal. And as a man, I am always expected to be a man, to make the first move. If anything, it is harder for me; you get all of the good stuff and none of the bad.”
With your brows furrowed with concern, with the capacity of my inferior mind, and your eyes grasp my shoulders, pushing me down as if to add to the gravity of your words.
“Do you understand where I am coming from now?”
I sat there small, draped in a label that was then too big for me. Struggling in the creases that were smothering the pieces of ideals taped together to form my skeleton. Feminist fell over my frame like an old baggy shirt. Suddenly embarrassing, the tag started to itch.
All of the good stuff and none of the bad. Women like Orwell’s pigs squealing to be more equal than others, while you’re pressured to be a man in relationships. The dilemma of having to choose who you spend your most intimate moments with. So while I sympathize with your burden of boyhood bravery, it’s hard to be the problem of a cloud’s troubled position of [working the ward] water while you’re the parched flower waiting for the rain to come only to be bother by the thunderous booms of ingratitude.
This is when you tell me not to get hysterical.
Hysterical, the word invented as a diagnosis to given to women showing inappropriate emotion, like anger. Supplemented with a daily dose of the question”Are you on your period?” As if an internal chemical explosion is the only thing that warrants my passionate opinion. But I am not suppose to talk about it. So I’m still trying to figure out why the hell I am to hide the fact that I bleed.
You illegitimatize the cries of my sisters. You try to deny me of my history. Give me hysterectomy that misdirects me dissect the women from this.
You know what? I am done with the futility of civility. I feel like cussing you out.
I would call you a pussy but that would mine. Cunt is the same predicament because it’s your dick I meant to insult. Can’t call you a slut, bitch, or whore because those are reserved for the ladies. I’d call you a son of a bitch but that would just insult the women you came from. The male equivalent of a bitch — bastard — is calling your mother a whore. Douche-bag, one of the dirtiest descriptions, just depicts the drippings of a woman. How about motherfucker? Throw in a feminine connotation to make it extra horrifying. Or a universal fuck you punctuated by erecting a phallic middle finger, in order to provide you with a visual representation of how I want you to be fucked… like a woman. Use sexual politics as the ultimate degradation.
But I don’t say any of this. I sit in silence because it has been hard to be a word in edgewise over your alpha male gorilla chest pounds. King Cock atop dangling buildings squeezing me in your leathery grip dangling me over the edge asking me why the hell I don’t enjoy the view. Oblivious to the fact I can’t even talk to you without choking on the language designed to remind me of my place. And anything I throw at you as an insult simply boomerangs back and burns my own tongue and threatens to drowned me in these thick veiled fabric of sexist dialect. But I will continue to rip these assaults apart, tearing these baggy rags and tying them tight and proud across my body, filling to the limit the fabric will allow until they fit my feminine form.
Reflecting back on your furrowed brow, I ask, “Do you understand where I am coming from now?”
Okay, first of all, go to Jezebel and read the whole damn article. It is good and does not just apply to the gaming sub-culture, it works everywhere for the most part and is useful to have in the back of your mind as you see stuff go down around you. The excerpt deals with the online gaming community, but can easily be applied to meatspace and the silly douchy “objections” are in the same vein.
- Now I’m going to address some objections from the very juvenile delinquents I’ve been talking about -– if any of them have read this far.
- “What’s the big deal? It’s harmless banter. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the game.” To start with, it’s our game, not yours, and we get to decide what’s acceptable behavior. You meet our standards or you get out. Apart from that, nothing that is done with intent to cause hurt is harmless. The online abuse I have seen goes way beyond banter. Threats are not harmless, they are criminal acts.
- “But this is part of gamer culture! It’s always been like this!” No, it is not. I’ve been gaming for over 40 years, and it has not always been like this. Yours is a nasty little subculture that arrived with anonymous online gaming, and we’re going to wipe it out.
- “This is just political correctness.” Invoking “political correctness” is nothing but code for “I wanna be an asshole and get away with it.” I’ll give you a politically-incorrect response, if you like: fuck that. It’s time to man up. You don’t get to be an asshole and get away with it.
- “You’re just being a White Knight and trying to suck up to women.” I don’t need to suck up to women, thanks; unlike you, I don’t have a problem with them, because I’m a grown man.
- “Women are always getting special privileges.” Freedom from bullying is a right, not a privilege, and anyway, that’s bullshit. Males are the dominant sex in almost every single activity on the planet. The only areas that we do not rule are dirty, underpaid jobs like nursing and teaching. Do you want to swap? I didn’t think so.
- “It’s hypocrisy. How come they get women-only clubs and we don’t get men-only clubs?” Because they’re set up for different reasons, that’s why. Male-only spaces are about excluding women from power, and making little boys whose balls evidently haven’t dropped feel special. Female-only spaces are about creating a place where they are safe from vermin.
- “But there’s misandry too!” Oh, and that entitles you to be a running sore on the ass of the game community? Two wrongs don’t make a right.. I’ll worry about misandry when large numbers of male players are being hounded out of games with abuse and threats of violence. If a few women are bigoted against men, you only have to look in the mirror to find out why.
- “Free speech!” The oldest and worst excuse for being a jerk there is. First, you have no right to free speech in privately-owned spaces. Zero. Our house, our rules. Second, with freedom comes the responsibility not to abuse it. People who won’t use their freedoms responsibly get them taken away. And if you don’t clean up your act, that will be you.
- OK, back to the real men for a few final words.This is not about “protecting women.” It’s about cleaning out the sewers that our games have become. This will not be easy and it will not be fun. Standing up to these little jerks will require the same courage from us that women like Anita Sarkeesian have already shown. We will become objects of hatred, ridicule, and contempt. Our manhood will be questioned. But if we remember who we are and stand strong together, we can beat them. In any case we won’t be threatened with sexual violence the way women are. We have it easier than they do.
It’s time to stand up. If you’re a writer, blogger, or forum moderator, please write your own piece spreading the message, or at least link to this one. I also encourage you to visit Gamers Against Bigotry, sign the pledge, and share it.
Use your heavy man’s hand in the online spaces where you go –- and especially the ones you control –- to demand courtesy and punish abuse. Don’t just mute them. Report them, block them, ban them, use every weapon you have. (They may try to report us in return. That won’t work. If you always behave with integrity, it will be clear who’s in the right.)Let’s stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the women we love, and work with, and game with, and say, “We’re with you. And we’re going to win.”
Thanks for pointing that out Sociological Images.
“[…][A]nother over-the-top example of the objectification of female athletes. The commercial is for RoadID, a company that sells “identification gear.” Autumn saw it while watching the Tour de France; she found this shortened version online, which she says actually features less objectification than the original did.
The main focus of the ad is a slow investigation of various aspects of cyclist Jenny Fletcher’s body. The camera travels slowly up her leg, then shows her full profile before zooming in on her breasts as she zips up her shirt:
Jenny Fletcher has no dialogue. She exists as a body to be broken down into eroticized parts for the consumption of the viewer. As Autumn put it, it’s frustrating that, a fan of the “the male-centric Tour de France,” that “when they do FINALLY feature a female cyclist, it is as a sexual object.”
This from Can you Relate, a helpful guide to Rape Prevention.
Ten rape prevention tips:
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
My co-worker recently created this list, inspired by sites like this. As I was reading, I couldn’t decide if I should laugh or be horrified by the reality that violence prevention tips are always aimed at what the targeted person should do (judgment strongly implied) to protect themselves.
In the past two weeks, headlines about rape have flooded the news—CBS Reporter Recounts a ‘Merciless’ Assault, Congo study sets estimates of rape much higher , Peace Corps volunteer speaks out on rape. And, of course, IMF Chief charged with rape. I am glad to see people speaking out about rape. But raising awareness isn’t enough. How do we actually change perpetrators’ thoughts and convince them not to rape?
If you experienced rape as a reporter, a Peace Corps volunteer, a war survivor, a hotel maid, or by your partner, you don’t need rape prevention tips. It is the rapist and the culture around us that excuses, supports, and looks away that we must change.
Let us establish something right here, right now and forever. Whenever a women says in public they’ve been raped they are taking a huge chance. The patriarchal fuckwittery that surrounds women speaking up against those that have violated them is sickening. It is not her fault for what happened to her, it does not matter what happened before, what she was wearing, where she was walking, how she was walking as soon as she expresses “do NOT want” it is all on the other person to immediately STOP. End of line, end of story, end of fracking everything – human beings with a conscience and awareness of others do stop, rapists don’t. The problem is you can’t tell which is which.
1 in 4 women will be sexually abused in their lifetime. Go to any social situation and you will be looking at survivors of rape and abuse. Oh and why is the incidence so high? Shouldn’t women go to the authorities if it was a “serious problem?”
Oh, because going to the authorities isn’t very fucking effective. Smack you with a clue by four, twice for good measure if you were thinking of going down that route. So going public means (adding on top of the emotional damage already done, you know from being forcibly violated) being shamed, blamed and shunned by your social circle and society and most likely there will be no consequences for Mr.Rapeity-Rape Pants. How about a rousing fuck-you for the people who declare that equality is achieved and we live in a post-feminist age.
What can you do? Rapists are in your circle of friends, you’ve seen them in action as they move with near impunity. Stop providing them with the social acceptance that makes what they do so easy for them. Call them out for being/acting like a creep, and don’t let it go till they leave the premise where they are creeping about. You can’t fix all the patriarchal shite that we have to swim through, but you can clean up the small pool you inhabit.
Other than libertarian or misogynistic concerns, both that are as useless as pants on on giraffe, I don’t see what the problem is. Women win, their partners win and society wins.
The manosphere welcomes you and your sparkling brethren.
The red pen of justice is vibrating in anticipation of this particular post. Admittedly, when going into the “Manosphere” it makes it shamefully easy to brandish the RPJ. I again make mention of the insipid nature of the WordPress reader function because it takes me to some really horrible sites on the internet, usually engaging cringe reaction followed by my SIWOTI reaction and then usually, hilarity ensues.
(update October 2014 – This douche weasel deleted his blog, so I linked to what was captured in the Internet Way Back Machine instead.)
The hilarity this week will be a natty new site called The New Patriarchy – A Gender Manifesto for the Next Generation. (Pro-Tip: If you don’t want your MRA bullshite deconstructed and laid bare to the world don’t use the feminism tag in your post) The title of the blog should have been enough. Red flags! Warning! Warning! Inversion of reality alert! Raise Shields! You know, all that jazz.
*sigh* – I could not resist and was drawn into the swirling vortex of pants-on-head stupid… Oh well, I tried keeping it over there, but the conversation quickly drew to close.
Battered with inconvenient facts, you know like women are people, the Patriarchy is actually a bad thing, egalitarianism is not the devil et cetera – Transcendiaryknight flames out and flounces in his own comment section.
Awesome.
I’m going to repost his last comment on the thread, annotated with the RPJ, of course. But here, gentle reader, is where I ask you to join me in the fun and find your own red pen of justice and post your own response to Mr.DairyKnight and his noble launch into the “manosphere“. Post your work in the comment section or link to this post with your replies.
Okay, lets get busy! Mr. DairyKnight front and centre please… [TW for Strong Language]
“I don’t have time to go through all the points in your response,[Oh! All those contrary facts! They highlight how shallow and crappy my arguments are. These criticisms are harshing my delusional-MRA mellow!] but I have dealt with people like you [You mean people who call you on your shitty arguments and thinly disguised misogyny?] before and its not worth the time[because my precious man fee-fees trump reality dontcha-know, and arguing against strawfeminsim is soooo much easier]. You will continue to reject everything I say[because it so amazingly wrong, as in fractally wrong.] because you feel insulted[projection much?] because my beliefs and experience[like your beliefs and experiences give you the right to say horribly stupid shite and expect not to get called on it? I guess the Manosphere provides training wheels for hard things like arguing cogently.] do not match closely with yours[Indeed, I think women should be treated as autonomous human beings that deserve full rights in society]. I am not interested in arguing [oh that was abundantly clear early on]with arrogance[someone who took your bad arguments and showed you how bad they actually are].
Just because you can provide internet links to someone who may have the same opinion as you as “evidence”, does not make you right either[ no, there is no default I win button for linking to sites, but, linking to sites that provide evidence and definitions that support my arguments is how adults argue, cupcake].
My main concern with feminism[as defined by cupcake] is that a growing percentage of sex-starved[oh wow, you went there – so thats what you launch into the “manosphere” is all about; women not being fuck-toilets for your manly seed] beta males[which is code for “I’m a lecherous creeper”] (sex-starved due to women’s abundant sexual choice[certainly not because you’re insinuating that women should be your fuck-toilets] are starting to drop out of society[Really? Taking your balls and going home?] like flies (witness the economy crashing around you[that would be due to the increasingly corporate nature of governance – but hey I could be wrong]) and focussing on ‘hunting’ women for sex[Oh so rather than getting jobs sex starved beta males are setting up the Creepy McPerv-Stalking Society, so they can get all rapey-sexy on the evil women that have emasculated them? What an shining example of pro-social behaviour.] rather than trying to ‘buy’ a woman with his ability to earn[WTF? How about treating women like human beings and appealing to them with your good qualities. Of course then you’d have to admit they deserve rights and equality, we certainly can’t have uppity fucktoilets around now can we?] – why else would should[ed. “she”] be with him [Wow its almost like you know what all women want, it totally isn’t like you set up an imaginary straw-woman and argue your woman-hating points against it] when there are an endless supply of stronger alpha males[because human society is completely like a wolf-pack, btw that alpha/beta wolfpack shite is out of date, and is not how wolf society works, but misrepresenting science is the least of your concerns, trust me cupcake.] who she can fuck[What is with all the fucking? Why do you reduce women to fuckable objects, unless of course that is what you think they are only good for…] on demand?
Men have found another way of getting laid and it doesn’t involve working long hours just to have some bitch use [It’s nice when MRA’s finally dispense with any sort of subtly and let their irrational hatred stand in the spotlight] and manipulate you[oh you mean being a respectable, ethical, hard-working human being is just right out! ]! This mass exodus of men from the workforce obviously[only to you and the rest of the “manosphere”] has some pretty big implications[more creepy stalkers, wheeeee!] for society and needs to be considered[yes, this argument is considered to be bunk].
As for your comment about my arguments being at odds with reality[the evidence presented would back this particular claim], I suppose that depends on what your perspective of reality looks like[Yeah, empirical reality – facts matter cupcake and you don’t get to play all po-mo relativistic dude] and I’m sure its vastly different from mine[oh you did go all po-mo, full marks for fuckwittery].
Ps. for your own sake and mine, please don’t waste your time replying[Absolutely! Now I will dedicate my time to showing how atrocious you are at arguing and how shitty your arguments actually are here on my blog] as I’m done with this argument[that is because outside of the “manosphere” your arguments are considered by rational people to be baseless, unsupportable shite, that can be boiled down to your hatred of women and the ways that ‘evil women’ ruin your life]. Go and prove your ‘evidence based’ theories to someone else [Okay, that is exactly what I am doing here Cupcake. Welcome to the internet…oh..and of course the “Manosphere!“].”
Ah, another RPJ post in the books. I always feel better after the final edit is done :) Oh, and don’t forget to write your own RPJ – riff off of the above or go to the fiery nexus of fail in person and glean some of your own MRA “wisdom” to dismember(there is a second post just as ripe as the Launch, trust me) and deride.
bleatmop
Mystro
The Arbourist
Dead Wild Roses 
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