The Right in Canada was bloodily united a couple of years ago under the banner the old, yet new again, banner of the Conservative Party.  The two precursor parties were the Progressive Conservative Party and the (Wack-a-loon) Reform (Alliance/fascist/reactionary/etc) Party of Western Canada.  Sadly, as I hail from Western Canada, I cannot but feel partially responsible for bringing the supernovae grade stupidity and fail into power.  In my defense, I’ve done what I can helping elect, Federally, the only New Democratic Party candidate (woo!, Linda Duncan!) in this political backwater called the lovely province of Alberta.

Patience gentle readers, as I am setting up some background to better frame the insipid gurglings we are hearing from the backbenches of the Conservatives party as of late.  Steven Harper, our beloved leader, essentially won his majority because our right-centre Liberal party, for the last seven years, has had a gargantuan case of cranial vapour lock and simply cannot get its shite together.  Thus, traditional centerist voters rather than voting for the “scary” New Democratic Party (because social democratic values are Satan), voted for the the seemingly calm, stable monolith known as the Conservative Party of Canada.

Harperkittensjpg    Harper, whose child-eating smile still makes me cringe, is a backroom authoritarian who is more than happy to sell Canada’s people down the river to corporate and business interests.  Harper though, the High King of the reform party, brought to the table all the false populist beliefs that makes the red-necks here in Western Canada bray with crazy-eyed delight.  Tough on the poor, women and foreigners, family values and all that hoopla.  It is the usual traditional nonsense that sounds fucking AMAZING  to the poor feckless (read false populist) sobs that greedly eat that shite up come election day.

Fortunately, the regressive bullcookery of Western Canada doesn’t play well in Eastern Canada where most of the votes are, so all those gob-smacked, turd-streaked policies that Harper trumpeted in the West quickly got tucked away under his big ole cowboy hat.  Then surprisingly(?) enough, he almost exclusively talked about a reasonably sane economic platform (admittedly ‘reasonable’ is a stretch) to the rest of Canada, winning him the election over the fractured parties of the Left.

Harper won the election by controlling and essentially muzzling the pack of socially conservative dipshites that were elected in Western Canada.  The “S2 Directive” (sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up) has been an iron rule in the Conservative Caucus.  The bug-frakking-nutz ideology is starting to bubble over Harper’s carefully crafted message.   Now we are starting to see the rampantly bat-shite, wilde-eyed social conservatives come out of the rotten woodwork of the governing party and demand the regressive social platform that got them elected in (*sigh*) Western Canada.

Let me show you the abortion law in Canada:

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There isn’t one.  That decision is left up to the woman.  End of story.  No legal restrictions and thus, none of the twelve different flavours of socially regressive bullshit that is happening down in the US at the moment.   Hence, in Canada, Women’s autonomy and rights are (for the most part) being respected and this gentle reader, is officially a GOOD thing.   Cue the clown-car entry of concerned male-white-dude Mark Warawa MP from Langley BC and his ‘thin edge of the wedge’ selective sex abortion tirade against women and their rights.

Mr.Warawa’s noble attempts to get women closer to broodmare status have been smacked down repeatedly in the Canadian parliament.   Much to Harper’s chagrin Warawa is not sitting down nor is he shutting up, he’s calling the ‘waaaaambulance’ and faffing on about being repressed and going on histrionically about how democracy died on this day.  The loopy-gnats representatives of the failosphere have clawed a hole in Harper’s big ole centrist-economics hat and are spilling out all over table spilling their garbanzo-bean crazy as far as the eye can see.

From the CBC, in this article Warawa has already been shut down once, but insane doesn’t know the meaning of the word stop (or deleterious to the party), so he warbles onward:

“Conservative MP Mark Warawa has lost his appeal to bring a motion condemning sex-selective abortion to the House of Commons for debate.

The procedure and House affairs committee upheld a decision by its subcommittee that Warawa’s motion, M-408, isn’t eligible to be debated by MPs, despite the advice of a non-partisan Library of Parliament analyst that the motion was in order.”

CPCcontempt   Like the fetid ramblings of Conservative MP Stephen Woodworth Warawa has had his shit-shutdown.  I’m guessing that this is only the tip of the iceberg of stupid that is the socially regressive base of the Conservative party.  Undaunted by opposition from within his party and common sense, Warawa plows on.

“Warawa has five sitting days to appeal to the House of Commons, but with MPs returning to their ridings for two weeks, that brings his appeal deadline to April 19. He says he’ll announce his decision when the House returns on April 15.

The MP for Langley, B.C., said Monday he has the backing he needs to bring the appeal, with the support of five MPs from two recognized parties. That appeal will lead to a secret ballot over whether the motion can be brought for debate.

Warawa said he’s “very disappointed” but was going to take a few days before deciding whether to appeal. He can also introduce another private member’s bill or motion instead of appealing the decision.”

It  looks like Conservative back bench has cranked the stupid-o-tron to 11(!1!!11!!!), broken the dial off, and flushed it down the crapper.

“My conscience is my guide, but I also am proud to be a member of the Conservative caucus,” Warawa said.

You sir, are an arrogant, misogynistic, snivelling, cock-sweater of a human being.  Take your conscience and ram it sideways into the brain-trust known as your arsehole.  Women and women alone are best arbitrators of their reproductive systems(aka their bodies).  Despite the abortion issue being settled,  Harper’s backbench are threatening to go all Lord of the Flies on his ass, and are taking umbrage at their right to free-speech being trampled on.  Funny my backbenchy friends, how you were comfortable with Harper’s hobnailed boots on your necks, while he was winning you the election.  Just sayin’.

“New Brunswick MP John Williamson, who in 2009 worked for Harper as his director of communications, said blocking any MP from delivering a statement is “is a violation of privilege or right” and that the speaker recognizes MPs directly, not via their parties.”

“I believe there are limits that have been crossed that involve removing speaking rights and that suddenly now involve veto rights over who is able to be recognized as a member of Parliament,” Williamson said.

“This also involves our democratic principles. If we, that is to say, you, Mr. Speaker, reinforce the authority of members of Parliament by reaffirming their right to speak, [and] then your right to recognize them, we will together strengthen democracy in this chamber.”

I’m all for the wigged out cracker-jacks of the conservative back bench getting their regressive views into the limelight; then people can see the balefully retrograde, and decidedly icky ideas they have voted for.  The next logical step for the electorate, like a satisfying peristaltic contraction, is to expel the pants-on-head-retarded, ass-clownage (see Conservative Party of Canada), from power.