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This sorta stuff is what makes or breaks relationships.  Have you ever caught yourself doing the actions they just mentioned in a video like this?  I just did.

Let me tell you a story, but first watch the video .


Pretty high on the useful emotional educational chart if you ask me.  But back to my promised anecdote.

This happened not even a week ago – I do my blogging on the weekends, and schedule a week’s worth of posts in a batch –  so really this happened today, but in the past when you, gentle readers, get to partake.

My weekend job starts at 7:30am every Saturday and Sunday.  When I’m feeling particularly responsible I like to get to bed before 11pm, as we all know getting enough sleep sets one up for at least a semi-productive day.  Of course, this Friday was not the case.  For some reason the allure of watching an poorly animated Batman featurette trumped my getting to bed before pumpkin time.  So, I’m shortening the length of my sleep on the front end – why? – because I’m an idiot some evenings.

My partner, who goes by The Intransigent One (TIO) here on DWR does not work on the weekends and thus can sleep in.  All is well and good, except that *this* morning for whatever reason – dust, allergies, the moon, etc.- she begins snoring at about 5:50am.  Now, gentle readers, it is almost always a question of magnitude when it comes to the disruption caused by one partner or the other when they bust out the fortissimo eupneic overtures.

It was kinda like this:

Anyhow.  I was upset because my morning just got a lot earlier and now in hindsight I realize that I had passed squarely into the Blame zone as indicated in the Dr.Brown video.  Was I thinking about the sort of night TIO was having?  Nope, nope, nope.  I was mad, and turned off the empathy for what may have caused her snoring and focused on blaming her regardless of the context of the situation.

I was mad.  I left the lights on in the bedroom (sadly we have to do that now as we begin to tilt away from the sun, I really enjoy the 6am dawn) after I put my clothes on and proceeded to prepare my lunch and gather my computer for work.

Looking back now it is like: Holy Passive-Aggressive Batman!  And over what? – 45 minutes of sleep.  :(

It is that easy to turn off your connection to the one you love and treasure most in the world.  You would think that after taking the p-sychology courses and a fairly steady diet of sociological/psychological reading one would be able to stop shit like that in its tracks.

I wish.

But back to the story, I look forward to going home, apologizing for being a doofus, and then having a nice nap to catch up on what I missed this morning.

 Nap time and snuggles incoming! :)

Nap time and snuggles incoming! :)

All will be well once again. :)




I’m in complete agreement with this animated short.  I can see from my own personal experiences the vastly different feelings I get between someone sympathizing with me versus someone who empathizes with me.


I can see why empathy is less common – it is waaaaaay harder to achieve because being empathetic requires time, energy and authentic connection with the person you are communicating with.

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