“The effect of chivalry then is to reinforce sex roles, a system geared to the creation of dominant males and submissive females. Students in our “Psychology of Women” classes have routinely argued that the act of a man opening a door for a woman has nothing to do with sexism it’s simply one person being polite to another. If they are right, then men should feel complimented when women (and men) open doors for them. To test this presumption, we ask the women in the class to open doors for men and the men to wait at doors until a woman opens the door for them. We also ask them to record the responses they receive. (we also ask that you the reader do the same). The women learn that there is a sizable minority of men that refuses to go through a door held open for them by a woman, becoming irate if the woman insist on “just being polite.” Even more insulting to men is when a man opens a door for another man. We have to ask ourselves then, why are men insulted when women and/or men open doors for him? The conclusion can only be that the man that is allowing the door to be opened for him is then forced into the role of being passive and thereby forcing him in the role as “female” and this is perceived by the man as demeaning.
Once we turn the tables and women do “chivalrous” acts for men, we find out quickly that “chivalry” is a social norm that is invisible until you violate it.“ – Dee. L. Graham, Loving to Survive
Accept this innocuous challenge ladies? Report back in the comments section, if you dare… :)
bleatmop
Mystro
The Arbourist
Dead Wild Roses 
7 comments
September 15, 2015 at 5:13 am
roughseasinthemed
Been there and done that one a long time ago :D Written about it too.
To me, the logical door opening scenario is when someone is carrying something, pushing pulling something, eg pushchair, shopping trolley, sack barrow etc or someone is injured eg on crutches, broken arm.
What used to annoy me, was going to meetings and man would escort me to a room. Walks in front. Then, pauses, grandly opens door for me to step through like a royal princes. Followed by the stupid dance as we both try to wriggle out of each other’s way for him to take the lead one more. Do you ever see men doing that crazy scenario with other men? Of course not.
Door opening. It’s on a par with jumping up and down for women leaving the table at restaurants.
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September 15, 2015 at 8:16 am
The Arbourist
@RSITM
There is money to be made if someone can figure out a solution for the wriggle-wiggle door dance. :)
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September 15, 2015 at 8:43 am
gyor
I’m a guy and I’ve open for women and men many many times and had men and women open doors for me as well, and not once have I ever seen such a strange reaction. Its just practical, if everybody tries to go in at the same time, it doesn’t work very well.
Was this done at an American university or Canadian, perhaps its an American thing?
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September 15, 2015 at 9:51 am
E.A. Stephens
I’m a woman and I’ve never had a guy or girl refuse to walk through a door I held open for them or even express displeasure that I did so. I’ve always gotten a “thanks” and I’ll usually get a smile.
I’m sure negative responses have happened. Not to me yet. :)
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September 15, 2015 at 1:32 pm
The Intransigent One
I’m also wondering if it’s a regional thing, or an older-generation thing or what. Because in general I don’t see anybody quibble over who holds what for whom. Except for one particular cow-orker, who also displays a variety of other benevolent-sexist behaviours, and some oppositional-sexist behaviours as well. He makes a huge show of rushing to the door and opening it for any woman he happens to be walking with, and I have no idea what would happen if I somehow managed to get to a door before he began his performance.
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September 15, 2015 at 4:25 pm
bleatmop
I have to agree with Gyor. I’ve never actually met a guy that was pissed I held the door for him nor have I ever seen a guy refuse to go through a door that a woman was holding for him. Perhaps it’s because of my gender I’ve not saw this but it doesn’t seem to hold true. My wife says she’s never experienced any of these behaviours either. Maybe we’re just a more progressive lot out here in the sticks ;)
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September 17, 2015 at 9:12 pm
myatheistlife
I call bullshit. When men open doors for other men it is a courtesy OR it is a sign of perceived respect by the one opening the door. Record how many times someone opens the door for same sex and observe the verbal interchange. When people open the door for me it is often accompanied by the word ‘sir’ …. or sometimes ‘hurry the fuck up’… meh
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