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Posts like these are periodic reminder to my male readership that the way society treats you, and the way you expect to be treated isn’t the gold standard.  If you happen to be a double XX’er then, mysteriously (not so mysteriously if you happen to be a radical feminist) the rules and expectations that apply to you are quite different.

Female readers will know exactly where this article is going from the headline alone.   Dudes, strap in, fire up your extra brain packs, and read for comprehension.

Do you/can you see the high octane male-bullshit going on the above passage?  Let’s start off with this:

 

“My (now ex) husband would take serious offense [when his overtures for sexy times where rejected] even though I told him constantly it wasn’t him”

Women are people they are complete, distinct, autonomous human beings.  Women do not owe anything to anyone, ever.

    “I started waking up at night to him touching me, trying to have sex with me in my sleep.  I told him the first time it happened that it was NOT something I’m ok with, and he needed to stop.  He didn’t.”

The first thing, my dudes, you should be thinking about is how rapey as fuck the husband’s behaviour is.  Sleeping people cannot consent to being touched.  If you respect someone’s basic human rights, you don’t touch them without permission.  Not stopping when asked to stop is already fully in the territory of rape.

” After talking to my friends about it, seeking help or advice, I felt like I had no choice but to allow it to happen. They all told me that he probably had a hard day at work and he wants some love, or they even judged me for not having sex with my own husband. I felt stuck.”

The second thing, my dudes, is right in front of you, you exist in it, breathe it, swim in it.

Patriarchy.

What just happened here?  A woman was sexual assaulted by her husband, as he disregarded her humanity and continued to do what he wanted.  After, being assaulted, the woman goes to her friends for support and gets shut down (read her basic humanity denied {as in, I get to define who touches me or not}) and told that something is wrong with her and she should really consider his feelings on the matter.

If you are about to say, but they are married, back the fuck up.  Answer this first and tell me what part of being married abrogates a woman’s basic human rights?  You can do what you’d like with property, but if you happen to be putting your wife in the realm of ‘your property’ your basic assumptions about women are seriously flawed – because people are not (should not be)property, ever.

    “I woke up to him touching me and I told him I’d press charges if he did it again and he stalked off, saying “wow. I can’t even touch my own wife.”

This is not uncommon.  Just think about the level of male entitlement – when one human being thinks they should have unfettered access to another human being’s body.  This isn’t 1850, this isn’t the 1950’s, this story is dated 09/21/2017. 

Fix your shit dudes.  It’s been too long already.

 

 

 

 

 

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