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Sometimes a little life advice is in order. I’ve read Ruiz’s book and it seems to be quite sensible. So here are the four agreements and the Psychology Today handy explanation below.
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
1. Be impeccable with your word. In a sense, social constructivists are correct about words creating reality. We act on what we tell ourselves is real. Albert Ellis encouraged us to screen our self-talk for negative, irrational chatter. What kinds of words do you use when you describe reality? Do you lie and say hurtful and poisonous things about yourself and others? (Not healthy.) To be impeccable with your word is to be truthful and to say things that have a positive influence on yourself and others.
2. Don’t take anything personally. The first agreement suggests that we avoid treating others hurtfully. The second agreement provides us with a way of dealing with potentially hurtful treatment from others. Because each person sees the world in a unique way, the way that others treat us says as much about them as it does about us. Not taking anything personally is to acknowledge the unique identities of other people. We respect their subjective realities, realizing that their views do not necessarily describe us accurately.
3. Don’t make assumptions. Assuming that you know what other people are thinking or feeling about you is a limiting thought that Aaron Beck called Mind Reading. Obviously, none of us can read minds. When we try to engage in mind reading we will often be wrong, leading to undesirable consequences. The antidote to mind reading is to ask for evidence before concluding what people are thinking.
4. Always do your best. One obvious reason for doing your best is that we cannot achieve our goals by being lazy. If you do your best, not only are you are more likely to achieve goals, but you will also avoid criticism from what Ruiz calls your internal Judge. There are also more subtle issues about doing “your best.” One is that you should not try to do better than your best. Pushing yourself too hard can cause pain, injury, and mistakes. More subtle still is the recognition that our “best” will vary from moment to moment, that, in a sense, you are always doing your best. Realize this, and your inner Judge can take a permanent vacation.
It’s been a rough couple of months, and sometimes refreshing some core tenets of being is way to restart and attempt to regain some purchase in life.
This is my dog, Shadow. We found her at the Alberta Sheltie Rescue society. She had passed through two families before finding her forever home with us.
Shadow passed from this world yesterday and I miss her so very dearly. It was time, she was 15 or 16 years old (didn’t have an exact date of birth),her vision was dim, she was almost deaf and couldn’t make it up the stairs anymore. She loved her humans to the very end, (and they loved her), I stroked her back and held her paw as the vet gave her the injection. She left the world with her family.
Shadow was a great dog, she was elegant and regal, but also a rambunctious goof at times. Her smiles were always endearing.
She was a shy dog, but could always be counted on for a cold nose *boop* when you really needed it.
She was my special girl, even when we couldn’t go for the long walks any more, we did short slow ones instead. She always tried to be in the same room with me.
Now she’s gone, and I mourn her passing. All I have left of her now are these photos and her collar. It is not even close to being enough. Thank you Shadow for being my bestest dog.
Here we be again my good blog denizens. Have a safe holiday season. Warm wishes.
Hey folks,
Reaching the mighty 45 today, and still mostly enjoying life. There is life after separation from one’s partner. It is different, the weird pangs one experiences with the absence of a well worn rituals remind me of what once was. Not really painful anymore the only ones left are the kind of feelings that make you pause for a bit of remembrance and introspection.
We are our past. It’s been a bit of a struggle to get properly contextualize past events. Steps in the process, so I’m told. Only through the passage of time can one frame the traumatic incidents in a more forgiving and positive light. A big thanks to all of you for being a welcome distraction when time in meatspace wasn’t really a hospitable place to be. Know that you’ve helped and I appreciate most everyone who takes the time to share this little corner of the internet with me.
We’ll see if we can get a more indepth this upcoming year and tackle some of the topics that continue to put angry bees in my bonnet. Take care folks, and be well. :)
Have to reshare my current musical labour.
Et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis:
And on earth peace, goodwill to all people
Vivaldi captures some of what the tapestry of life is like. The text is celebratory, yet the music is mostly sombre with majestic swells and delicious tension and harmonies if you listen for them. Life isn’t always happy, but rather, complex and should be celebrated as such.
(Edited one this morning, already. If anyone wants to be my copy editor let me know….sheesh. 😊)
Christmas time.
Celebrate the season; live with loss.
Be happy; feel the keen echoes of what once was.
Remain standing; help others when you can.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year from all of us here at DWR.
Arbourist
Mystro
Bleatmop
So no history, political analysis, or radical feminism today. Today is for highlighting my semi-annual consternation with the limitations of ‘acceptable’ men’s bottom wear.
Spring is tentatively arriving in Canada’s northern-most provincial capital. We are slowly emerging from the long dark of winter (no thanks to daylight savings time, as it is dark as of today, *again* when I wake up) and temperature are, ever so slowly, beginning to creep toward not hurting your face levels. For instance, today the high will be a balmy +2 degrees centigrade.
The hell that is winter-weather enforced trouser wearing is almost over. But at the same time, I would like to avoid situations like this:
Well not really, but that cartoon is too good not to share. :) Blinding people with the pale luminescence of my legs is secondary however to the comfort concerns involved. Daily spring temperatures in edmonton The Great White North have an exceedingly wide temperature range depending on whether the sun happens to be out or not. Exhibit A: 
Yeah, so a high of plus 4, but then -12 as a low, then +2 as high then -8 as low. Climactic variability is quite problematic, as +4 degrees centigrade is clearly shorts weather, but -12 degrees centigrade clearly, is not (stop laughing/cringing right now equatorial friends this is warm weather).
So what is one to do while locked into the strict trouser/shorts binary? I’m more than ready to give the heave ho to long pants, but I’m also a big fan of not freezing my tuckus off in the cold mornings that typify the Edmonton spring cycle.
The 3/4 pant are not part yet a part of the mainstream male lexicon, and the tights + shorts option seems to be in a very specific context of people who enjoy torturing themselves by running at obscenely early in the morning, but not something one would want to teach in outside a of non physical education setting.
My usual solution, is to dress for the expected high temperature and let things fall as they may. But I can’t help but think that there must be a more elegant solution to my conundrum.
bleatmop
Mystro
Dead Wild Roses 
Your opinions…