You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Social Science’ category.

Greetings fair readership, it is time for a new foray here at DWR.  A recent comment by JZ and gentle prod by RoughSeas are the inspirations for this post.

The idea that JZ had was that a comparative essay looking at the differences and similarities between adolescent experiences would be an interesting read.   I agreed with him at the time and promptly back-burnered the idea because doing new things is hard.   But we’re going to give it a try anyways, because we’re like that around here.

This is what I envision – my faithful commentariat would offer a brief (three paragraph  (300 words-ish) anecdotal tale of what the socialization was like growing up through those years we now call adolescence.  Let me offer you some food for thought, the original Laurie Penny quote for starters:

“Adolescence, for a woman, is the slow realization that you are not considered as fully human as you hoped. You are a body first, and your body is not yours alone: whether or not you are attracted to men, men and boys will believe they have a claim on your body, and the state gets to decide what you’re allowed to do with it afterwards.”

Some questions/story starters to get the juices flowing:

1. I was so embarrassed when…
2. My finest hour as a youth.
3. My worst experience as a youth…
4. I  remember an instance of  how my socialization affected me when…
5. [Whatever you think is relevant]

This can be dangerous territory, and thus let me state now that this thread will be heavily moderated with hopes of making a safe space for people to share their stories.  If you feel the need to faff on about free speech and censorship, and/or act in a general discourteous manner, the recently polished ban hammer shall fall swiftly and discretely.  Furthermore, this is one of those rare occasions where the option to post anonymously may actually be a good thing.  Please feel free to use that option at your discretion.

 

A good host always starts these sorts of things off, so I’m told.  As I was writing this post a vivid clutch of memories came back from my high school days.

 

It was a good time back highschool, as in grade 10 I learned that this would be the last taste of the compulsory physical education (torture) that I would have to take.  Track and field, the tepid combination of aimlessly running/hopping/leaping about and throwing a myriad of things, was just finishing up.  My sub-group was responsible for putting away the high jump mat, as this PE class just happened to be at the end of the day.

So, with the allure of the end of day just around the corner our tired group of teenagers was hustling to get the large and bulky crash pad mat back into school and put away.  Outside, while we were all carrying the mat, one my less intrepid peers decided it would great fun if they ran up and threw themselves onto the mat.  Of course, with the extra weight we dropped it, and the jumping doofus was immanently pleased with himself.  The gym teacher was also unimpressed and told this particular student to stop horsing around and get with the program (with perhaps a bit more vivace in his word choice, I can’t be sure :)).   So we all found the handles to the mat and once again began lugging the cursed beast toward the school.

Can you guess what happened?  The Superman in waiting decided that there would be nothing as much fun as doing the same thing twice – because one solid declaration of your assholery just isn’t enough – and off he went, this time though he chose to land near me.  And for whatever reason I decided that this particular sack of jerkitude and his attitude needed a stern correction.  The correction, in question, was a flying elbow smash straight out of ‘pro-wrestling’ that landed directly in the small of the Jumpy-Jerk McAsshole’s back.  He yelped, quite vociferously,  in what I assume was a mixture of surprise and pain.  Keep in mind, this is coming from the non-athletic, glasses wearing, book devouring nerdy kid who always listened to the teachers and never created waves.  I immediately apologized to him and the teacher and was expecting a severe reprimand for such irresponsible, dangerous behaviour.

Instead, the gym teacher was crowing with laughter, as were the rest of the mat handlers.  Everyone was like Woo!  That was awesome!  Everyone was congratulating me for attacking JJMcA for jumping on the mat a second time.  I was taken aback then, as I am now at how easily violence is praised and endorsed as a method of solving problems.  And in hindsight I can see this small happening as just one of many instances of socialization at work that consciously and unconsciously help shape the person that I am today.

—–

Okay, well if there are any takers on this free writing/reflecting assignment, you have my thanks in advance.  :)  If you’re like me you’ll be struggling with only 300 words, but I have faith in you, concision is a writers’ best friend.

Clearing up some of the confusion about socialization and being ‘born that way’, Ruth Hubbard in this excerpt tackles the nature/nurture question head on.  Read the whole article here.

Here at DWR we’ve already talked about how our theories about addiction are quite flawed.  However, this is such an important topic that we’ll cover it again, but now in an animated format that is quite appealing and easy to understand.

 

Many social problems can be addressed by ‘changing the cage’, however, recognizing that the cage is the problem is often a monumental step.

 

Think you’re immune to social constructs?  Think again.

 

“Let’s examine that a bit. “Men don’t see dirt the way women do.” That’s a pretty common assertion. And it’s bullshit. Vision problems aside, we’re all seeing the same dirty house; we’re just interpreting it differently. You and your boyfriend both walk in, see the pile of crap on the kitchen counter, and have different reactions to it. You likely think, “Man, that pile of crap is really bugging me. I should really dirty floorclean it up a little.” He likely sees it and thinks, “Huh. Pile of crap. It’ll get taken care of.”
Why does he think that? Well, because we’re dealing with endless generations of social gender constructs that tell us that taking care of the home is “women’s work.” Whether you or your boyfriend or your parents or your peer group believe these constructs is largely irrelevant, though, because it’s so deeply ingrained in our society that it permeates every level of culture: You see it in TV shows, movies, commercials, in the workplace, in literature, and in almost every facet of life. There’s no escaping it.
So when someone says, “Men don’t see dirt the way women do,” what they’re actually saying is, “Men have been conditioned over generations to process the dirt that they see in a way that requires no further action on their part.” It’s not genetic. It’s learned. And it can be unlearned.”

The take away of this is in the last line.  Learned behaviours can be altered over time.  So no more weak excuses people. :)

[Source:Ask UfYH]

“A therapist once said to me, “If you face the choice between feeling guilt and resentment, choose the guilt every time.”   It is wisdom I have passed on to many others since.  If a refusal saddles you with guilt, while consent leaves resentment in its wake, opt for the guilt.

Resentment is soul suicide.

 

-Gabor Maté.  When the Body Says “No”. p.257

bwflower

 

This sorta stuff is what makes or breaks relationships.  Have you ever caught yourself doing the actions they just mentioned in a video like this?  I just did.

Let me tell you a story, but first watch the video .

 

Pretty high on the useful emotional educational chart if you ask me.  But back to my promised anecdote.

This happened not even a week ago – I do my blogging on the weekends, and schedule a week’s worth of posts in a batch –  so really this happened today, but in the past when you, gentle readers, get to partake.

My weekend job starts at 7:30am every Saturday and Sunday.  When I’m feeling particularly responsible I like to get to bed before 11pm, as we all know getting enough sleep sets one up for at least a semi-productive day.  Of course, this Friday was not the case.  For some reason the allure of watching an poorly animated Batman featurette trumped my getting to bed before pumpkin time.  So, I’m shortening the length of my sleep on the front end – why? – because I’m an idiot some evenings.

My partner, who goes by The Intransigent One (TIO) here on DWR does not work on the weekends and thus can sleep in.  All is well and good, except that *this* morning for whatever reason – dust, allergies, the moon, etc.- she begins snoring at about 5:50am.  Now, gentle readers, it is almost always a question of magnitude when it comes to the disruption caused by one partner or the other when they bust out the fortissimo eupneic overtures.

It was kinda like this:

Anyhow.  I was upset because my morning just got a lot earlier and now in hindsight I realize that I had passed squarely into the Blame zone as indicated in the Dr.Brown video.  Was I thinking about the sort of night TIO was having?  Nope, nope, nope.  I was mad, and turned off the empathy for what may have caused her snoring and focused on blaming her regardless of the context of the situation.

I was mad.  I left the lights on in the bedroom (sadly we have to do that now as we begin to tilt away from the sun, I really enjoy the 6am dawn) after I put my clothes on and proceeded to prepare my lunch and gather my computer for work.

Looking back now it is like: Holy Passive-Aggressive Batman!  And over what? – 45 minutes of sleep.  :(

It is that easy to turn off your connection to the one you love and treasure most in the world.  You would think that after taking the p-sychology courses and a fairly steady diet of sociological/psychological reading one would be able to stop shit like that in its tracks.

I wish.

But back to the story, I look forward to going home, apologizing for being a doofus, and then having a nice nap to catch up on what I missed this morning.

 Nap time and snuggles incoming! :)

Nap time and snuggles incoming! :)

All will be well once again. :)

 

 

 

I’m in complete agreement with this animated short.  I can see from my own personal experiences the vastly different feelings I get between someone sympathizing with me versus someone who empathizes with me.

 

I can see why empathy is less common – it is waaaaaay harder to achieve because being empathetic requires time, energy and authentic connection with the person you are communicating with.

This Blog best viewed with Ad-Block and Firefox!

What is ad block? It is an application that, at your discretion blocks out advertising so you can browse the internet for content as opposed to ads. If you do not have it, get it here so you can enjoy my blog without the insidious advertising.

Like Privacy?

Change your Browser to Duck Duck Go.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 397 other subscribers

Categories

January 2026
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  

Archives

Blogs I Follow

The DWR Community

  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • windupmyskirt's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Vala's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
Kaine's Korner

Religion. Politics. Life.

Connect ALL the Dots

Solve ALL the Problems

Myrela

Art, health, civilizations, photography, nature, books, recipes, etc.

Women Are Human

Independent source for the top stories in worldwide gender identity news

Widdershins Worlds

LESBIAN SF & FANTASY WRITER, & ADVENTURER

silverapplequeen

herstory. poetry. recipes. rants.

Paul S. Graham

Communications, politics, peace and justice

Debbie Hayton

Transgender Teacher and Journalist

shakemyheadhollow

Conceptual spaces: politics, philosophy, art, literature, religion, cultural history

Our Better Natures

Loving, Growing, Being

Lyra

A topnotch WordPress.com site

I Won't Take It

Life After an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Unpolished XX

No product, no face paint. I am enough.

Volunteer petunia

Observations and analysis on survival, love and struggle

femlab

the feminist exhibition space at the university of alberta

Raising Orlando

About gender, identity, parenting and containing multitudes

The Feminist Kitanu

Spreading the dangerous disease of radical feminism

trionascully.com

Not Afraid Of Virginia Woolf

Double Plus Good

The Evolution Will Not BeTelevised

la scapigliata

writer, doctor, wearer of many hats

Teach The Change

Teaching Artist/ Progressive Educator

Female Personhood

Identifying as female since the dawn of time.

Not The News in Briefs

A blog by Helen Saxby

SOLIDARITY WITH HELEN STEEL

A blog in support of Helen Steel

thenationalsentinel.wordpress.com/

Where media credibility has been reborn.

BigBooButch

Memoirs of a Butch Lesbian

RadFemSpiraling

Radical Feminism Discourse

a sledge and crowbar

deconstructing identity and culture

The Radical Pen

Fighting For Female Liberation from Patriarchy

Emma

Politics, things that make you think, and recreational breaks

Easilyriled's Blog

cranky. joyful. radical. funny. feminist.

Nordic Model Now!

Movement for the Abolition of Prostitution

The WordPress C(h)ronicle

These are the best links shared by people working with WordPress

HANDS ACROSS THE AISLE

Gender is the Problem, Not the Solution

fmnst

Peak Trans and other feminist topics

There Are So Many Things Wrong With This

if you don't like the news, make some of your own

Gentle Curiosity

Musing over important things. More questions than answers.

violetwisp

short commentaries, pretty pictures and strong opinions

Revive the Second Wave

gender-critical sex-negative intersectional radical feminism