You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Nice Guys’ tag.

Just in case you were not clear on what the friend zone is.  Many thanks to Angels and Angles for the definition.

——

friendzoneAs defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”

and ”The perennial location of nice guys everywhere.”

Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?

From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in her not as a sexual object but as a human being and wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being because being “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.

Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to say unrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?

Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”

The friend zone is bullish** because girls are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.”

But gosh and wow, all at once.  There is a sociology paper to be written about this phenomena, the great mystery of why… oh why… ‘nice guys’ cannot get with women.  Actually wait, it needs to be feminist paper…or actually a feminist sentence.

If women aren’t into you it is because they see something they don’t like about you.

There is nothing after that.  No friend zone BS, no nice guys finish last BS, no projecting of insecurities BS.  If you’re having problems with forming a relationship with women it is most likely because you are a douche-cake and have not taken steps to rectify the situation.   The Tumblr called “nice guys of Okcupid” [ed. The tumblr was shutdown, I have no idea when or if it will back up// Online with new ownership] provides evidence of this phenomena.  Pay special attention to the misogyny, racism and homophobia (no idea why these gems of people are not being snapped up, gals lets get in there!).

niceguy2 Niceguy3 Niceguy4 Niceguy5 Niceguy1

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