You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Mansplaining’ tag.

I knew as soon as I saw this on my facebook feed, that a great tide was coming. The tide of ignorant entitled men who would disparage the very notion of mansplaining and try to make the conversation about them and their very important needs and problems.

The great tide of mansplination has crashed and to their credit the individuals behind Philosophy Matters has been doing and excellent job of schooling the dudes on the related comment thread.

I’m still just taken a bit aback by how, at least nominally, intelligent people do not understand such simple concept.  I’m guessing that it has much to do with the (wrong) idea that the experience in society is roughly the same for everybody.

Long time readers of DWR will recognize that highlighting the differing experiences of females and males in society is something of a theme around here and here we have an example on social media illustrating that there is still so much work to be done.

Thanks internet for confirming that my dislike of humanity in general is well-founded.



Like Inception only way less interesting.


Why hello there gentle readers (and a big thanks to John Zande for bringing this video to my attention).  Today were going to look at one of the fundamental differences between the lived experiences of men and women in public.   We’re also going to look at some of the horrible things misogynistic, entitled men say when they see a version of reality that doesn’t agree with theirs.  These are the same dudebro’s that cry foul when women post videos on you tube and decline to open the comment section.   So, let us watch the video and then digest some of the comments I annotate from said video.

A handy refresher about Helen Lewis’s Law -“Comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.”

**UPDATE – A big thank you Bleatmop for this information – Shoshana has also been receiving rape threats due to her participation in this video.   See the story here. **

This video is a PSA about street harassment and this definition is from their blog Hollaback.

“What is street harassment?

Street harassment is a form of sexual harassment that takes place in public spaces. It exists on a spectrum including “catcalling” or verbal harassment, stalking, groping, public masturbation, and assault. At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups (women and LGBTQ folks, for example) of their vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Further, it reinforces the ubiquitous sexual objectification of these groups in everyday life. Street harassment can be sexist, racist, transphobic, homophobic, ableist, sizeist and/or classist.  It is an expression of the interlocking and overlapping oppressions we face and it functions as a means to silence our voices and “keep us in our place.” At Hollaback!, we believe that what specifically counts as street harassment is determined by those who experience it.  If you’ve experienced street harassment, we’ve got your back!


Is Shoshana’s experience unique?

The experience of street harassment is different for everyone.  Street harassment disproportionately impacts women, people of color, LGBTQ individuals, and young people.  Although the degree to which Shoshana gets harassed is shocking — the reality is that the harassment that people of color and LGBTQ individuals face is oftentimes more severe and more likely to escalate into violence. These forms of harassment are not just sexist — but also racist and homophobic in nature.”


Shoshana noted, “I’m harassed when I smile and I’m harassed when I don’t. I’m harassed by white men, black men, latino men. Not a day goes by when I don’t experience this.”



Yes, well, lets take a peek at what the enlightened you tube commentators has to say.  I went through the comments and came up with 5 rough categorizations of comments that I screen-capped:  Clueless Dudes, Entitled Males, FreezePeach, Misogynistic ManSplainers, and Victim Blaming.  Some comments could be in more than one category, but divisions needed to be made somewhere (it’s such a pleasure seeing so many graduations of misogyny).  Oh yes there are a smattering of non vile responses, but those are for a different post.

So here we go, category one – Clueless Dudes.



#1 Some of these persons are harassing for sure. But saying “have a nice evening” or “How are you?” or anything like that is not harassing in anyway! You should try saying “You too!”, “I’m fine thanks, and you?” and send a smile. In that way we would all have a nice day.


#2. Should we arrest all these men for saying inoffensive things? Should we tie them up and give them 50 lashings each? Would that make you feel better about it? Because unless you do, it’s never going to stop. So shut the fuck up.


#3. Most of them were REALLY nice. “God Bless You” and “have a good day”. Those would make my day!


#4. She’s going to change her mind when she hits about 45 and all the catcalls stop.


#5.Men are genetically designed to reproduce. Of course a good looking girl is going to get hit on.

Clueless Dude Analysis/Response:  Wow, so much fail, so little time.  Let’s respond in order.

#1.  Women in public are not obligated to say or do anything.  The men in this video were trying to elicit a response or commentate on her physical stature.  This is not conversation, it is harassment.

#2.  Should we speak in nothing but hyperbole when defending the status-quo that benefits you so much?

#3.  Would it really make your day if so many of these comments were preludes to asking for sex or touching that you have not asked for?  The good ship male experience sails in the calmest of waters.

#4.  Ah, you’d be surprised what a relief it is for many women who age out of, or fat out of or whatever out of, the category of women who get unwanted male attention.  The transition from harassment target – girl I’d like to fuck – to invisible to the male eye penis is a reality for almost all women.

#5.  Would any comment sections about female harassment be complete without some evo-devo-pysch bullshit?  Let me know how your hunt goes Jonny Tan whilst the females gather roots and berries…  (pro-tip:  That whispering you hear is civilization and progress proving your low opinion of males and humanity comes directly from your rectum).


Category Two – Entitled Males.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rapeculture Today’s Red Pen of Justice edition is brought to you by the clueless parvanimity of Neil Macdonald.  Mr. Macdonald  has many important opinions on Rape Culture and, shockingly enough, they are completely out-to-fucking-lunch-brain-gone-fishing, wrong.

“For people my age, the freedom to get drunk or high and then have sex with someone was a right guaranteed by the sexual revolution of the Sixties.”

Oh!!  So you valued have available female fuck-toilets to bang when you were getting crunked in name of peace, luv and rock and roll.  Wow, funny how the ‘sexual revolution’ that gave dudes more peentacular access to women is lauded while the current battle for female bodily autonomy and consensual relations is slandered.

One paragraph in and you need a machete to cut through the misogyny.  Awesome!

“Heaven knows that much of the world, beginning with Islamic societies, still discourages or forbids such behaviour.  Oh, and also Yale University.”

Ah yes, because Islamic religion and Yale are completely the same.


    Islam is all about protecting women’s modesty from the phaser-like dick beams that emanate from Islamic men.  Women’s bodies drive Islamic men around the jizz-tastic bend (tru-fax!!) therefore its into the gunny sack for Islamic women and most of their rights.  No misogyny here, move along, move along please. 

Yale is attempting to ensure that people are not unwilling participants in sexual and social encounters within their institution.  Here is what the Yale Policy says:

“Sexual activity requires consent, which is defined as positive, unambiguous, and voluntary agreement to engage in specific sexual activity throughout a sexual encounter. Consent cannot be inferred from the absence of a “no”; a clear “yes,” verbal or otherwise, is necessary.  Consent to some sexual acts does not imply consent to others, nor does past consent to a given act imply present or future consent. Consent must be ongoing throughout a sexual encounter and can be revoked at any time.

Consent cannot be obtained by threat, coercion, or force. Agreement under such circumstances does not constitute consent.

Consent cannot be obtained from someone who is asleep or otherwise mentally or physically incapacitated, whether due to alcohol, drugs, or some other condition. A person is mentally or physically incapacitated when that person lacks the ability to make or act on considered decisions to engage in sexual activity.  Engaging in sexual activity with a person whom you know — or reasonably should know — to be incapacitated constitutes sexual misconduct.”

Whoa.  You go Yale!  Treating people with bodily autonomy and safeguarding their rights.  Let us see what McShitstain, err…  Mcdonald thinks about a treating people with dignity and respect…

“A person who is incapacitated by alcohol or drugs cannot by definition consent to sex, and is therefore a rape victim if sex occurs.   If both parties are drunk, presumably, it would be up to Yale administrators to decide who was the rapist and who was the victim.  This may all sound beyond the realm of common sense, but it is real.”

Do take note and sample the fine airs of special pleading that is happening here.  The only case mentioned were both parties are drunk.  McShitstain, you and other entitled man-children like you can fuck right off forever.  If both parties are drunk then no action between either is predicated by the rules set out.  This isn’t rocket science – the default action when consent is in question is to back off and not do anything.

Did you feel that that?  As a matter of fact, I felt it – a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of  man-bonerz suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

TL;DR – Your entitled man-attitude and fucking stiffy does not trump women’s right to be treated as a human beings.  I feel like I’m giving shit-stains a bad name by associating them with you…  Onward turd-lord!

“American universities are under serious pressure by federal authorities to do something about the “campus rape culture,” as some call it – 55 U.S. colleges and universities are currently under investigation for failing to protect students from sexual harassment or assault.”

Protecting your students from rape?  GTFO!  The nerve of some schools trying to provide a safe environment for their students.  It must be a communist plot or even worse – a socialist one.  And why is protecting students a bad thing?  How is a raging sac of bollocks like yourself even allowed near a keyboard when it comes to this issue is completely beyond me.

“Alarmed at the growing perception that they’re becoming havens for rapists, the schools are coming out with codes of sexual behaviour that go far beyond criminal law.”

Good.  Good, good, goodly-good.  Because the law isn’t doing enough to combat the sexual abuse and harassment in our culture.  This is what setting the bar higher looks and feels like – sorry about the bruise on your forehead, asshat.

“Therefore, if a college administrator thinks that you more likely than not violated a lengthy, highly detailed set of sexual rules, you’re not just expelled, you may also be shamed in the media as a sexual predator and stained for life.”

But, but, but, the ‘peen was meant to run FREE!  Oh woe! The onerous burden of consent you must really know how Atlas feels eh?    The president of Shitistan just called, he wants you to stop ruining his country’s good name…

We are not done with you yet, douche-nozzle in training.   How dare you compare the shaming of sexual predators with victims of rape.  How the ever loving frack do you do this?  Have you discovered some sort of dark energy that requires you to have your head firmly embedded in your ass?

“Presumably, the government has decided that the need to avoid further traumatizing victims trumps an accused’s right to question the accuser.  The intent behind all this is laudable. I say that as the father of a daughter who just graduated from university.  But what the universities are doing is also frightening, and I say that as the father of a son who is going into his senior year.”

Shorter Douche McAsshat: My male right to a woman’s body is being violated, changing behaviour to make people aware of boundaries and personhood infringes on my right to be a dude.

“Not only are universities all over America substituting their administrators for police and courts, they are attempting, with the best of intentions, to parse and regulate human behaviour down to the least gesture and syllable.”

Overcoming patriarchal constructs is HARD, dipshit.  If it was a walk in the park, unlike now because of your whinge-baby-mantrums dressed up as a noble defence of the status-quo keep getting in the way of progress, we’d be over the idea that consent is some sort of weird idea requiring two Rosetta stones and the wisdom of the ancients to decipher.


“Alas, this is not a public debate that encourages critical writing.”

You don’t say.

“After a White House task force declared in April that one in five women on campus has been sexually assaulted, and that only 12 per cent of sexual assaults on campus are reported, Dr. Mark Perry, an economics prof at the University of Michigan, ridiculed Washington’s math by using actual sexual assault figures from three schools.”

Too bad Dr. Mark Perry screwed up the analysis.

“Another key fact Perry’s analysis misses is that colleges only track certain types of sexual assault in their numbers. Typically colleges only report assaults that occurred on campus and/or assaults in which the accused perpetrator was also a student at that university. So, again, we expect the numbers tracked by a university to be smaller than the number of assaults their students actually experience and report to local police.

The take home point is that the number tracked by the college would only be a fraction of the assaults that George and Mark are using as a comparison. The mismatch doesn’t mean the prevalence figures are wrong — it’s that they have compared a select group of cases that are tracked by a university to a wider group of assaults that their students experience and report to local police.”

Whoops – hate to deflate your confirmation bias Neil.

“Conservative commentator George Will, a sober analyst if there ever was one,[…]”

As long as you’re into mostly irrelevant arch-conservative altiloquent drivel.  His level of poisonous bullshit is an post unto itself.  See the Michigan Chronicle for rebut of his asinine diatribe.  

“[…] then cited Perry’s critique in a column, suggesting that colleges, with their extra-legal sexual conduct rules, and their “trigger warnings” about offensive languages in textbooks, and their campus speech codes, are treating students like fragile hothouse flowers, rather than preparing them for the world.”

Ah yes, the real world where, you know, patriarchy and misogyny are the gold standards and you just need to abide by them.  Treating Patriarchy as some sort of inevitable force of nature is bullshit Neil, stop it.

“Four U.S. senators promptly blasted Will as an antique who trivializes and legitimizes sexual assault, perpetuating myths created by victimizers.”

See, we do have progress in society. 

“There was similar blowback last year, when journalist Emily Yoffe had the temerity to suggest that while sexual assault must be punished young women might also want to avoid getting blind drunk  Yoffe quoted Anne Coughlin, a professor at the University of Virginia and an expert on feminist jurisprudence, as saying more or less the same thing.  Those who believe there is a rape culture on American campuses have called that “blaming the victim.”

   Because blaming the victim totally doesn’t happen…  Neil saying shit like this that puts you into multiple facepalm territory, your ignorance is dangerous and you should stop spreading it around.  

“But every parent should certainly consider this: If the complications of human sexuality and its often ambiguous mating dance defy consistent definition by the intellectual candlepower of entire university faculties, what advice should you give children who might still be in their teens as they head off to college?”

What, exactly, is ambigious about consent?  If you have it great, if you don’t, stop proceedings immediately.  If you’re not sure, stop proceedings immediately.   My God, the epic complexity of this notion – we need more SCIENCE on this one dudes…

“his would be mine if my son or daughter were ever to ask: If you feel the need for a sexual adventure, seek it off campus, where police have expert investigators and courts guarantee your rights. Due process, in other words.”

Because expert investigators and the courts are always so darn sympathetic to the victims of rape.  I have no words for the sheer amount of stupid you’re doling out in your ‘advice’. 

“And avoid sex with fellow students, period. It’s just too risky nowadays.”

Because changing the misogynistic ground rules of society is much much much MUCH too hard, so take your balls on go your own way.   If this perchance helps exclude your type of thinking from the next generations gene pool, I think we can call your strategy a win for everyone.

RPOJ out. 







On the experience of women in society:

Like most women, I currently live in a society where violence, harassment and scary shit can break out at any moment, just because I told some random asshole “no” without bothering to be nice about it. Doing that is so dangerous that most women don’t dare; after a few scary incidents, they learn to make up excuses, to smile, to be sweet and welcoming, to act as if every single random asshole on the street is a precious new friend that they would just LOVE to stand outside of the Chipotle and chat with FOR HOURS, if only cruel fate had not intervened. That’s what it’s actually like, being a woman: Playing nice with every random asshole, because this random asshole might be the one who hurts you. And then, if he hurts you anyway, they’ll tell you that you led him on.


And of course, some basic facts about sexism and mansplaining from tigerbeatdown (and the above quote as well).

It’s a dude appropriating feminism in order to silence women who identify things as sexist. Here’s how it works:

  • BASIC FACT #1: Sexism is, on its most basic level, the privileging of men over women. It’s more complex than this, of course, because gender is more complex than “men” and “women” in the first place, and we do live in kyriarchy, so not every man experiences male privilege in the exact same ways. But, basically, sexism goes, “man/manliness = good, woman/womanliness = not so good.”
  • BASIC FACT #2: All women have a better chance of understanding sexism than cisgender men do. This is because women are targeted by sexism, in their day-to-day lives, whereas cis men have spent their entire lives being socialized not to see the ways in which they perpetrate or benefit from sexism. Again: It’s more complicated than this, because gender is more complicated than this. But all women have experienced sexism, whereas only some men have; women can learn about sexism from both lived experience and study, whereas cis men primarily have to study and work toward a level of self-awareness that the culture simply doesn’t support. Non-gender example: If I want to know more about the food at Momofuku, I can read the Momofuku cookbook, but that won’t make me David Chang. In fact, reading the cookbook won’t even really teach me what the food tastes like; to know that, I have to eat there. Lived experience is knowledge; if you can’t have the lived experience, you can’t have total knowledge of the subject. That is a very basic part of How Shit Works.
  • THE COMPLICATION: Where man=good and woman=not so good, men are presumed to always be smarter than women, no matter what the subject at hand is. Hence the phenomenon of Mansplaining, in which a woman — no matter what her credentials, intelligence, or base of knowledge may be — can automatically be cast as ignorant and treated as such by a man, who assumes Real Expert status he does not actually possess. When it comes to Mansplaining sexism, the problems of the man’s credentials as compared to the woman’s are immediately apparent to anyone who gets How Shit Works.
  • AND YET: The odds are high that, at some point in his life, a man will hear a woman identify something as sexist, and that he’s not going to like it. Perhaps it is something that makes him feel particularly defensive, such as his favorite book series, or his personal actions. What can he do? Well, he can Mansplain. He can use the powers of the man=smart, woman=less smart assumption to explain away her perceptions and thoughts, by casting himself as the One True Expert on this matter.
  • COMPLICATION #2: But the matter at hand is sexism! And this gentleman fancies himself an enlightened sort! He’s not the sort of mansplainer who mansplains sexism away without caring whether or not he looks sexist in the process. He’s got to convince people that he just knows more about sexism than a woman does, in spite of all the evidence and basic logic pointing to the contrary, while still retaining his Liberal Dude Credits. “How can I achieve this impossible thing?” The man wonders, more or less unconsciously. “Perhaps if I… EXPLAINED MY SUPERIOR UNDERSTANDING OF FEMINISM????? Yes, that should do it!” And so the nightmare begins.

Thank goodness those of us with fluffy pink ladybrainz have access to the cogent Manly-Man opinions of men.  Go to the tumblr: Laugh, grimace, get angry, and repeat.


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