You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Pronouns!’ tag.

Having recently gotten into a discussion about the misnamed “Gender Affirming Care” with some of my acquaintances we broached many contentious topics but one point that stuck out was when we got into pronoun territory.

My interlocutor was brought up the idea that the shortening of names – like Stan for Stanley – was a preference and that people were just being polite by referring to the individual as they would like to be referred to.

I stumbled a bit on proposing a counter argument for this point – in hindsight it is fairly straightforward to construct a response.

If a person insists on calling a self proclaimed “Stan”, “Stanley” it might indeed be considered a bit offensive.  So how is this different that using she/her pronouns for a male who is under the false notion that he is female?

Well, Stan and Stanly are both terms that are technically correct for the person in question.  Is it inconsiderate to ignore their wishes, yes certainly, but here in this free society we don’t have to associate with people who we judge are inconsiderate toward us.

The male expecting people to use “she/her” when to referring to him is a completely different case.  Pronouns and preferred names are not in the same category of linguistic use.  In English pronouns are sexed, thus males are attributed he/him and females are attributed she/her.

If you hold a set of beliefs that do not comport with reality – that is a male believing that he is somehow a woman (adult human female) – that is perfectly fine.  Your personal belief about your reality are of no concern to anyone else in society.

The expectation though of people outside your gender delusion to play along with and be party to your departure from the material reality we all share is not acceptable, especially if you are a person that sees the harm Gender Ideology does to women and society.

Thus, the argument of using a preferred name vs. a pronoun is distinctly a false equivalence as in the first case two real descriptors that accurately represent reality are being offered.  In the second case using the “wrong” pronouns is a decision to comport with reality or the decision to ignore the evidence your senses are reporting and submit to someone else’s interpretation of reality – no one is obliged to do so.

Both cases associated with someone is who you perceive to be offensive is not usually not a mandatory experience.  Occasionally being offended in society is a part of life and one must learn to deal with it.

Compelling the speech of others is a distinctly authoritarian notion and should not be encouraged in a society that values freedom of thought and expression.

 

This is a guest post written by former teacher Chanel Pfahl.

I recently came across a collection of lesson plans for K-8 teachers. I didn’t intend to spend hours rummaging through them, but one thing led to another.

Created in July 2022, the lesson plans are featured in a “Back-To-School Kit” on a website called “Welcoming Schools”. The site is produced by the HRC Foundation — the largest LGBTQ advocacy group in the United States — and it is recommended as a resource for educators by the Ontario elementary teachers’ union (ETFO).

As a former teacher who is currently being subjected to a formal investigation by my licensing body (the Ontario College of Teachers) for voicing what I believe are reasonable concerns about indoctrination in schools in a private Facebook group, I am drawn to these kinds of resources because however depressing their existence, they also carry hope. Hope that thousands more fellow Canadians might awaken and help put an end to this nonsense.
I’d like to believe most of us have a breaking point when it comes this illiberal ideology that calls itself inclusive and compassionate. My wake up call came from seeing a respected professor denounced by the university community and ultimately canceled for an innocent comment made online.

Others might start to think about this “gender” and “race” fanaticism in a different way when they come across a 19 year old who has had her breasts removed, her voice permanently altered, and her fertility stolen from her because as a teenager, she was led to believe that she was born “in the wrong body”, and later realized it was all a giant, irreversible error.

For some, evidence that the teachers’ union considers these lessons appropriate for kindergarteners might just be the drop that makes the glass overflow.
This particular lesson is based on the book “They, She, He, easy as ABC”, by queer activist Maya Gonzalez. The story introduces 26 characters — one for each letter of the alphabet — each one referred to by special “pronouns”.

The first page of the lesson plan shows it is in line with some legitimate “academic standards” (see below). This 40 minute lesson, which also requires “1-2 periods for the art project”, corresponds to the curriculum expectations, in other words.

Nowhere does it mention any connection to the Health/Phys Ed curriculum, where these concepts might be explored with some degree of transparency in later years, however. Instead, the lesson seemingly aligns with the “Common Core State Standards” for English language arts (CCSS.ELA) — standards that are used throughout K-12 education in the US.

In fairness, the students are indeed interpreting a story and participating in conversations about it.

Then again, concepts such as gender identity are completely developmentally inappropriate for elementary students, not to mention pseudoscientific. These ideas downplay or downright ignore biological reality — a child’s physical body — in favour of stereotypes and feelings, leading some to believe their body might truly be a monumental mistake. What exactly could be good about that?

And yet it appears this politicized story time is getting the green light.

If you don’t like it, you’d better have a strong capacity to withstand cognitive dissonance or a very thick skin.

The next page of the lesson plan (above) says the students—aged four to seven—are asked to “list pronouns and write them on a piece of chart paper” before the book is read. They are told to pay attention to pronouns in the story, and reminded that we can’t tell “if someone is a girl, boy, both or neither by how they look”. (Again, we are promoting an idea that is untrue, namely that more than two sexes exist. Human beings are a sexually dimorphic species: this is a well-established fact.)

The teacher starts reading. The first character introduced uses the pronoun “they”.

The second one has no pronoun. The teacher asks for a pronoun anyway. Oups, tricked ya — Brody only goes by Brody, kids.

Then we learn about Diego: “Diego drums and dances. Tree has all the sounds”.
“What pronoun does Diego use?”, asks the teacher.

Tree? Good job!

So it continues… One character uses “ze” pronoun, another uses “more than one” pronoun, and one uses “all” pronouns.

Then students are asked to write their name and pronoun on a sheet, and draw a self-portrait.
As if this wasn’t enough lunacy for one day, the teacher is also instructed to “let students know that if they have always wanted to wear a bow tie with rainbow suspenders, that they can draw themselves this way”, or that they can “change their hair to a style that represents their true selves”.

Their true selves. Hmmm.

What can I say?
This all ends when enough of us choose to speak the truth.

“The refusal to take sides on great moral issues is itself a decision. It is a silent acquiescence to evil.” — Fulton J Sheen.

Dear teacher, principal, music director, barista, checkout clerk, and bookseller:

I think I know how this happened: you probably had a DEI workshop or a colleague or a woke friend or a passionate niece tell you this was a nice thing to do. I even had one of you tell me directly that “this is a small way to create an inclusive and nourishing community by affirming and supporting students of all genders.” So you put on your pronoun badge and added she/her at the end of your email signature. There, you thought, I’m a kind person.

And I sincerely believe that your intentions are good. Somewhere along the line you heard that trans kids commit suicide at high rates. You saw a TV show where a trans character or actor was tragically heroic, misunderstood, and noble. You saw a soft-focus ad campaign about a little trans girl who just wants to play sports with the girls. Aw. You’ve probably got a student, family member, or neighbor kid who declared they are trans and is screaming things like “trans rights are human rights” and clearly distressed. Seriously, if adding a pronoun statement to your email signature somehow helps those unhappy kids, what kind of cruel brute wouldn’t do it?

So I get it; you think your pronoun introduction, email signature, video conference name, and badge signal that you’re nice and inclusive. But actually, they show that you’re okay with sterilizing autistic kids.

What? Huh? How?

I’ll take this slowly, so pay attention. When you add a pronoun declaration, you are saying that:

1) Despite any scientific evidence, I believe in the idea of gender identities. There is no science that shows that people have an innate sense or feeling of “gender.” No brain scan. No blood test. Of course not: “Gender identity” is a feeling, an idea about whether and how much you feel like a female or a male. [Do you feel like a person with AB blood? Or a person who is 5’ 9”? No – you just are.] But yes, I think people feel female or male or neither. Or both.

2) Some people have gender feelings that are different from their physical bodies, and that those gender feelings trump their bodies’ physical sex. How they feel matters more than their body – and society should label/categorize them as that feeling desires. No longer do pronouns refer to someone’s actual sexed body (an observable and incontrovertible fact in 99.999% of cases and testable in the other ones), but to how they feel (an unobserved and unmeasurable idea). I’m okay with changing the meanings of pronouns – because feelings are more important than reality.

[Note: realistically, calling someone by the opposite gender pronoun (or they/them) doesn’t actually move them into the social category of the opposite sex or some third sex—not for any useful purposes like friendships, dating, athletics, or sexual partners. It just puts them into the category of “too sensitive to face reality / treat with kid gloves / they are mentally unstable and possibly suicidal / they might have a weird kink fetish / they’re probably super-obsessed about one aspect of their life and kinda boring and weird.” Believe me, outside of high school and the anthropology and gender studies departments, no one sees an opposite sex/they/them pronoun signature line and thinks “Oooh—now that person is magical and extra interesting. I can’t wait to get to know/hire/date that person.” We think “next.”]

3) If feelings matter more than facts, then transforming the sexed body to better match the gender feelings makes the best sense. Taking puberty-blockers and/or cross-sex hormones or undergoing surgery to stimulate the appearance of sex characteristics like breasts or facial hair or penises makes sense. Trying to question, alter, or evolve feelings or promote self-acceptance of the physical body isn’t worth trying or exploring.

4) Even though transitioning the body from one sex to the other isn’t actually possible, I’m okay with people doing that. No amount of cross-sex hormones will transform a penis into a vagina, nor vice versa. Surgery can remove breasts, labia, clitorises, vaginas, ovaries, fallopian tubes, uteruses, penises, scrotums, and testes. Plastic surgery can try to fashion pseudo penises from chunks of thigh or arm tissue, or pseudo vaginas from inverted penises or lengths of colon, but these are not functional organs. Even the most sophisticated surgeries and drugs cannot transform the DNA coded into every cell of your body. Sex can never change, but I’m okay with acting on fantasies and feelings.

5) Even though attempting to transition the body from one sex to the other isn’t healthy and increases suicide, I’m okay with people doing that. Puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones and surgeries are bad for bodies. Really bad. Brain polyps, anorgasmia, infertility, osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s, cardiac damage, diabetes, infections, death. Scientists and doctors know these approaches are bad. Sometimes, a patient reports the results were worth it, but we know that transitioning actually increases rates of suicide. I’m okay with those negative consequences, because feelings are more important than reality.

6) Despite the fact that historically, most of children (typically boys) with gender dysphoria outgrew it and became gay or bisexual men, I think we should re-enforce these young boys’ false belief they are actually girls by using preferred pronouns. Remember, feelings are more important than reality. Reinforcing this idea that a boy is a girl can lead them to social and medical transition, but that’s not my problem. I’m okay with sterilizing gay boys.

7) Despite the fact that the present wave of teenagers with gender dysphoria has disproportionately high rates of social isolation, anxiety, depression, ADHD, and autism, I’m okay with permanently damaging and sterilizing them, too. Even though typical teenagers can’t be trusted to vote, smoke cigarettes, or drive a rental car, I believe these socially isolated, anxious, depressed, ADHD and autistic teenagers are somehow extra-ordinarily mature, and I’m okay with them making these sorts of life-altering decisions based on their feelings. Because feelings trump the body.

8) So yes, I’m totally okay with the sterilization of autistic children—really, any kind of people at all. Giving people time to mature and grow just isn’t wise, right? Since we all know feelings trump reality. Go ahead. No skin off my nose.

Well, thanks for clarifying where you stand. You’re so kind.

Apparently electrons on a screen have caused emotional damage of the Interim Green Party Leader.

You can’t make this up folks. A serious restorative process is being undertaken to make sure that the Green Party’s safe spaces and inclusive environment remain intact.

It is a clownshow over at Green Party HQ as they publically demonstrate they are unfit holding any office in Canada.

There is nothing kind about affirming the magical pronouns of others. Reinforcing the detachment from reality in others is quite the opposite of being kind.

There is nothing kind about endorsing the idea that if a man calls himself, by ‘she/her’ pronouns then suddenly he becomes an adult human female. This is not possible as human beings, in the vast majority, grow down one of two developmental pathways. Either you produce (or have the potential to) large immobile gametes, or you produce small mobile gametes and the related bio-mechanical infrastructure necessary to potentially pass your genetic material on to the next generation – also known as being female or male.

Sex is immutable in the human species and does not change regardless of how strongly you happen to believe in gender identity magic.

So, by not using the wrong pronouns for males and females you make the statement that you have a commitment to comporting with the reality we all share and maintaining said reality’s grounded attachment to the world of fact.

It is okay to say, “No, I don’t believe in the pronoun rules associated with gender identity” (and the larger notion of trans gender ideology). It is okay to reject the delusional notion that men – because they feel like women – actually are women. You are rejecting the gender-orthodoxy that is profoundly damaging to female safety, rights, and spaces within society. In time, your stance will be applauded as it comports with reality we share.

Being able to name reality is so darned important.

Hey folks, the woke internet is doing it’s best to deplatform and silence critical analysis and criticism of gender ideology.  Here’s the thing, if your ideology wasn’t shit to start with, it could withstand critique and still be coherent.  It isn’t, thus the censorship.

The following article was removed from publication on Medium. We present it unedited for readers to make up their own minds.

There’s a lot of chat around about pronouns right now. Specifically, ‘preferred’ pronouns. By which is usually meant, the pronouns a person would prefer other people to use when they are the subject being discussed by those people.

This is how I want you to talk about me’.

Almost without exception, the people who request, or demand, others talk about them using specific pronouns, are asking for pronouns associated with the opposite sex to their own.

A simple politeness. A courtesy.

I’ve heard many people tell me they don’t mind doing this, as a courtesy, although it takes some effort to keep up the mental gymnastics of perceiving one sex, but consistently using pronouns for the other. That’s a personal choice, and I respect the reasons why some people make it.

I’ve also heard many people declaring that anyone who won’t comply (usually directed at a woman) is obnoxious, mean, hostile, and unpleasant. ‘Misgendering’ is hate speech. They say.

But I refuse to use female pronouns for anyone male.
Because pronouns are like Rohypnol.

One of the biggest obstacles to halting the stampede over women’s rights is pronoun and preferred name ‘courtesy’. People severely underestimate the psychological impact to themselves, and to others, of compliance.

Pronouns are like Rohypnol to your brain’s defences.

You doubt this absurd claim I just made, obviously. You have the fortitude of mind to be uninfluenced by such trivia, and I have got this wrong. I understand. Bear with.

And try this quick experiment.

The cost of USING preferred pronouns yourself:

The Stroop Effect

Have you heard of the STROOP TEST?

It’s a well known “name that colour” psychological phenomenon. A quick and simple experiment where you have to say the colour of the words written in front of you. Simple as that. Except the speed and accuracy of your answers is heavily impacted by any incongruence between the colour you see, and the actual word itself.

Try it HERE, if you like fun interactive tests. It takes less than a minute to complete. Compare the difference in your times between part one and part two of the experiment.

You’ll find you have to consciously fight the conflict of input to your brain each and every time. And it leaves you confused, distracted, slower, frustrated and fatigued.

Forcing our brains to ignore the evidence of our eyes, to ignore a conflict between what we see and know to be true, and what we are expected to say, affects us.

USING preferred pronouns does the same. It alters your attention, your speed of processing, your automaticity. You may find it makes you anxious. You pay less heed to what you want to say, and more to what is expected of you. It slows you down, confuses you, makes you less reactive.
That’s not a good thing.

The cost of HEARING or READING preferred pronouns from others:

Experiment 2.

For a week, re-translate all the transgender articles and comments you find, back to sex-based pronouns, nouns and original names. Rewrite them back to the blunt truth and then read them again. Doing this exercise solely in your mind will do just fine, but editing on a screen is better.

Convert female pronouns back to male; use surnames instead of first names, and convert terms like transwoman back to just ‘man’.

Better yet, if you know the original name of the subject, use it, be it David, or Rhys, or Ashton, or Jonathan.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, yes? It shouldn’t matter. No-one else will be hurt or affected by this private experiment. It’s entirely between you, and your own resilient mind.

(Try not to get banned from anywhere during this experiment)

Read your translated version again.

If those small acts of preferred pronoun compliance are truly meaningless concessions, (although, see above banning potential for contradictory evidence of import) given as a courtesy to others at no cost to you or to other women, then this private exercise will change nothing, cost nothing, affect no-one. You’ll walk away thinking, yep, as I thought, fuss about nothing.

After all, nothing *should* change, should it, simply with the alteration of pronouns and names? You already know the actual sex of the subject you’re reading about. Pronouns, male or female, add no incremental information. How can they in any way alter your perception, or influence you when you already know all the facts? They’re an irrelevance, the easiest concession to make. Not worth consideration, inconsequential. Right?

Cognitively, you should be immune to the effects of such linguistic cross-dressing. Pronouns are irrelevant, so you concede them easily, because they have no power to influence you, since you already see clearly. Yes?

[And you can confess here, it’s OK. You may already think that the minority of women who refuse to comply with pronouns are just awkward buggers, who can’t think strategically, don’t know when to let it go, probably are extremists. Do themselves no favours, damage their own ‘cause’, even. Unreasonable.]

But try the experiment. Translate pronouns and references back to male. Insert ‘dead-names’ or use surnames. (No-one will know but you) Read it a second time. And be honest with yourself.

Do you feel differently, on reading it this way?
Do you react differently?
How’s your anxiety?
Are you angrier?
Do you feel more scared?
Is your sense of injustice alerted?
What level have your natural defences armed to?

You may discover that, despite yourself, you have a viscerally different reaction to what is before your eyes.

Same story, same players, same core knowledge.

Different pronouns, different reaction.

Pronouns are like Rohypnol.

They dull your defences. They change your inhibitions. They’re meant to. You’ve had a lifetime’s experience learning to be alert to ‘him’ and relax to ‘her’. For good reason. This instinctive response keeps you safe. It’s not even a conscious thing. It’s like your hairs standing on end. Your subconscious brain is helping you not get eaten by the sabre tooth tiger that your eyes haven’t noticed yet.

Oscar probably didn’t intend the instinctive female response his words provoked

Incongruent pronouns also make your brain work much harder; not just when you are using them, but when you are receiving them as information. You are working constantly to keep that story straight in your head. Male or female? Which one, again? Concentrate harder. Ignore your instincts, ignore your reaction.

And that’s just you. You’re already aware of all the pertinent information, already alert, you know the score, no flies on you.

And you’re still affected emotionally and instinctively by incongruent pronouns, nouns, and names. Despite your efforts to be immune. You’re not immune to this effect. You can know perfectly the actual sex of a male person, and yet you will still react differently if someone calls them she instead of he.

So what then, is the impact on everyone who isn’t even aware yet, hasn’t fully comprehended yet what’s going on?

Pronouns are Rohypnol. They change our perception, lower our defences, make us react differently, alter the reality in front of us.

They’re meant to.
They numb us.
They confuse us.
They remove our instinctive safety responses.

They work.

If you do this experiment you may still decide to accept or use female pronouns for male people, perhaps a little wiser, but cognisant of their influence on you and others. That’s a choice you may make. At least now you understand that you may be voluntarily suppressing your own natural response. Your eyes are more open.

Maybe you’ll continue to mentally translate ‘preferred’ pronouns and names in your head back to reality, every time, as I do. We give ourselves the best chance to understand the reality of the situation before us. It becomes easier with practice. I want my instincts as intact as possible.

Maybe you shrug. You can live with this little phenomenon. Or it didn’t work for you, you don’t see it.

But please. Don’t judge so harshly those of us who refuse to submit, refuse to comply with preferred pronouns. There are good reasons why we might be doing that, for our own sakes, and for the sakes of others.

Pronouns are Rohypnol.

I want to be alert. I want others to be alert. I want people to see the real picture, and I want those instinctive reactions that we feel when something is wrong, to be un-blunted, un-dulled by this cheap but effective psychological trick. I feel like I owe this to myself, and I absolutely owe it to other women.

And more than anything, I owe this to girls. I don’t want to play even the tiniest part in grooming them to disregard their natural protective instincts. Those instincts are there for a reason. To keep them safe. They need those instincts intact, and sharp.

And that’s why I won’t use preferred pronouns.

Using Rohypnol on others isn’t a courtesy.

This Blog best viewed with Ad-Block and Firefox!

What is ad block? It is an application that, at your discretion blocks out advertising so you can browse the internet for content as opposed to ads. If you do not have it, get it here so you can enjoy my blog without the insidious advertising.

Like Privacy?

Change your Browser to Duck Duck Go.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 398 other subscribers

Categories

December 2025
M T W T F S S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Archives

Blogs I Follow

The DWR Community

  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • windupmyskirt's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Unknown's avatar
  • Widdershins's avatar
Kaine's Korner

Religion. Politics. Life.

Connect ALL the Dots

Solve ALL the Problems

Myrela

Art, health, civilizations, photography, nature, books, recipes, etc.

Women Are Human

Independent source for the top stories in worldwide gender identity news

Widdershins Worlds

LESBIAN SF & FANTASY WRITER, & ADVENTURER

silverapplequeen

herstory. poetry. recipes. rants.

Paul S. Graham

Communications, politics, peace and justice

Debbie Hayton

Transgender Teacher and Journalist

shakemyheadhollow

Conceptual spaces: politics, philosophy, art, literature, religion, cultural history

Our Better Natures

Loving, Growing, Being

Lyra

A topnotch WordPress.com site

I Won't Take It

Life After an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Unpolished XX

No product, no face paint. I am enough.

Volunteer petunia

Observations and analysis on survival, love and struggle

femlab

the feminist exhibition space at the university of alberta

Raising Orlando

About gender, identity, parenting and containing multitudes

The Feminist Kitanu

Spreading the dangerous disease of radical feminism

trionascully.com

Not Afraid Of Virginia Woolf

Double Plus Good

The Evolution Will Not BeTelevised

la scapigliata

writer, doctor, wearer of many hats

Teach The Change

Teaching Artist/ Progressive Educator

Female Personhood

Identifying as female since the dawn of time.

Not The News in Briefs

A blog by Helen Saxby

SOLIDARITY WITH HELEN STEEL

A blog in support of Helen Steel

thenationalsentinel.wordpress.com/

Where media credibility has been reborn.

BigBooButch

Memoirs of a Butch Lesbian

RadFemSpiraling

Radical Feminism Discourse

a sledge and crowbar

deconstructing identity and culture

The Radical Pen

Fighting For Female Liberation from Patriarchy

Emma

Politics, things that make you think, and recreational breaks

Easilyriled's Blog

cranky. joyful. radical. funny. feminist.

Nordic Model Now!

Movement for the Abolition of Prostitution

The WordPress C(h)ronicle

These are the best links shared by people working with WordPress

HANDS ACROSS THE AISLE

Gender is the Problem, Not the Solution

fmnst

Peak Trans and other feminist topics

There Are So Many Things Wrong With This

if you don't like the news, make some of your own

Gentle Curiosity

Musing over important things. More questions than answers.

violetwisp

short commentaries, pretty pictures and strong opinions

Revive the Second Wave

gender-critical sex-negative intersectional radical feminism